


Remains The Same

by WincestSounds (Cammerel)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alien Sex, Also there's Come Packing and a very NOT human penis so uh yeah that's a thing, Blood Drinking, Bloodplay, Crinkle Love, Demon Blood Addiction, Demon Dean Winchester, Demon Form, Demon Sex, Dimple Adoration, Feels, Foreskin Play, Freckles, M/M, Mole Adoration, Nipples, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Scale Adoration, Season 4 AU, Top!Alorest, Top!Sam, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:47:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 85,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cammerel/pseuds/WincestSounds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Season 3. It’s been 2 years since Dean was dragged to Hell. Sam, still hunting demons and searching for a way to get his brother back, overhears talk of a new demon rising up on Earth and he ends up getting more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic/rp ignores the Angel/Seal plot line of Season 4.

Sam was sitting in an oversized booth in a rundown little diner, making him look smaller than he really was. It was about dusk, the sky was painted orange, mostly, with a few glints of red, pink and purple; breathtaking really. This gave him a chance, more than anything, to sulk and think of a better way to get information from the demons. As of lately, although the demon blood had made him incredibly strong; at times it also made him hostile, often blowing his chance at getting any sort of lead. He knew Ruby wouldn’t be happy about it, always expecting so much and yet doing so little to help.

Well.

Aside from her _blood_.

Thinking about it now, that was all the help he really needed from her; as long as he could learn to control it a little better. The last bit of it he had, had been that morning before he headed to Dallas. She made weak promises of good leads and had Sam believing that he’d make some sort of progress, that he’d eventually find something that would lead him straight to Lilith. As it would turn out though, there was never anything more than one or two demons who would never talk. Usually resulting in Sam using his demon blood induced powers to draw the demon out of the human.

He had more skill now, all it took was a flick of his wrist and the demon would be a puddle of ash around the human; leaving the human in perfect shape, naturally.

Sam huffed loudly and closed his phone after reading a text from Ruby.

> **Sender:** Ruby
> 
> **Recipient:** Sam
> 
> _Anything?_

The older waitress with the leathery skin and endless lines of wrinkles walked up to Sam’s table, smiled and sat down a small plate with something on it, distracting him from his endless frustration.

“Here ya go, sugar. It’s on the house,” The older woman winked and went to her place back behind the counter before Sam could insist he didn’t need anything.

When he looked down though, it was the biggest slap in the face reality had ever given him. It was _pie_. Apple pie, Dean’s favorite.

 _Dean_.

He had done so well to suppress and bury down anything sentimental when it came to Dean, but this, this was _too_  much. He pushed it away, angry at the waitress almost, for making him remember that he didn’t have his brother anymore. _Hadn’t_  had his brother for over two years and counting. Sam remembered trying everything to bring Dean back, offered his own life in turn more than once. He tried not to think of his brother that often, he probably wouldn’t make it out of bed most days if he did. It never stopped him, though, from subconsciously looking for another way to somehow bring him back. He needed Dean and he always would.

A suspiciously eerie line of conversation caught Sam’s attention from the counter in the middle of the diner. So he ducked down, trying to appear less visible, which was difficult for Sam even in the oversized booth.

“Tell Lilith whatever she wants to hear and I suggest, if you plan on staying in that meat suit, that you make it convincing,” The older man with the receding hairline had hissed into the phone, but kept his voice hushed.

As if on cue, the man at the counter turned his head in Sam’s direction and flashed his black eyes before bolting hurriedly out of the diner. It took little to no time at all before Sam was on him, pressing his forearm harshly into the demon’s throat as Sam pinned him to the brick wall a few alleys down from the diner.

“I wanna know who you were talking to, you piece of shit,” Sam growled, his face absolutely menacing and mere inches from the demon’s.

“You think that just because you bully us demons as a profession, that I’ll just tell you anything?” The demon mocked Sam, smiling snidely.

“Where’s Lilith? I heard you mention her name on the phone, where is she?” Sam pressed into the demon relentlessly.

“Oh, she’s _around_ ,” The demon cackled and shrugged his shoulders the best he could, “Tying up a few loose ends, preparing for her guest’s arrival.”

“Who?” Sam demanded, his chest heaving from the adrenaline.

“I’m not telling you anything,” The demon’s face went cold and hard.

Sam pressed roughly into the demon’s neck one more time before backing up, he put his hand out and began to twist.

“Have fun back in hell,” Sam stated as he closed his eyes and began expelling the demon from the human.

The demon began writhing in pain, body twisting in ways that would break a normal person. It didn’t take long, with as strong as Sam had gotten, it really never did take long anymore.

“Azazel!” The demon cried out, trying to straighten himself back up, “Azazel and Alorest!”

“ _Alorest_?” Sam questioned, brows furrowing in confusion because, both Lilith and Azazel he knew, but ‘ _Alorest_ ’? He had never heard that name before.

“I’ve already said _too_  much,” The demon admitted, breathless.

If the demon was convinced he had already said too much, Sam was sure he wouldn’t get anything more out of him. Sam had almost nodded a subtle thank you to the demon before he finished him off, walking away as the remains of the demon had turned into ash around the human who was still clinging to life. This was the most information Sam had gotten in a long time and in a bitter way, he _was_  almost thankful towards the black-eyed piece of shit for lightening his load a little. He’d leave it to someone else to find the guy lying on the ground though, he needed to talk to Ruby.

* * *

When Sam had gotten back to the hotel, he found Ruby sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling up at him and looking as smug as ever. He locked the door out of routine, threw his duffel into the chair and sat down next to her.

“So did you find anything,” She asked, turning almost excitedly towards Sam.

“Believe it or not, yeah,” He  looked at her and huffed a sigh of relief, “Demon said something about Azazel coming back and mentioned the name of another demon. I’ve never heard of em’ though.”

“Well, maybe I have,” Ruby tugged at his shirt, she was almost _too_  eager.

“Alorest?” Sam questioned, able to hear the own frustration in his voice.

Ruby’s brown eyes went wide and she swallowed hard, which signaled to Sam that she did, in fact, know who it was. She quickly averted her gaze and turned away from Sam. This time he leaned forward and turned to her, desperate to figure out what exactly it was that she knew; what she was hiding.

“You know who it is, don’t you?” Sam questioned, trying to get Ruby to look at him.

“Sam, I can’t,” She sputtered out, shaking her head fervently.

“Well why the hell not?” Sam felt his blood beginning to boil. They’d worked together on this for what seemed like forever and now she was withholding information. He wasn’t happy, “If you know who it is, Ruby, you _need_  to tell me.”

“I knew the demon before,” She looked at Sam, he could hear the hesitation in her voice, “Before he was a demon.”

“Okay, so who was it?” Sam asked, nodding as if to prod for more information.

“It’s nobody, no one important anyway,” Ruby feigned a smile.

“If you tell me w-who it is,” Sam stammered, getting frustrated from her lack of cooperation, “Maybe I can find the damn remains and nip this whole thing in the bud, _before_  it turns into something I can’t handle.

“Sam, I promise,” Ruby ran her fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him, “It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it.”

Sam felt something snap inside of him, all of his anger coming to the surface at once. He was done with her and her damn mind games. She had been the one encouraging him all along. And now? Now she acted like she was a valiant soldier for the other team. Protecting the _enemy_  and oddly enough, she seemed like she was trying to guard Sam from something as well. Sam stood up, striding over to pick up his duffel; it had everything he needed in it anyway. He turned, looking at Ruby with enough animosity in his eyes to ward off a blind man.

“I’m done. Whatever it is that you’re trying to hide,” Sam shook his head and glared daggers at her, “I’ll figure it out by myself.”

With that, Sam had stormed out of the hotel room without even so much as glancing back at the demon who’d seemingly had his back since the get-go. The one who had encouraged all of this, made him stronger. And lastly, the one who would _now_  not tell him anything.

He needed to get his head on straight anyway, remind himself why he was bothering with _any_  of this.

 _Dean_.

It had _always_  been about Dean.

* * *

Sam was in St. Louis when he got an anonymous text telling him that a few demon’s up in Pontiac might be able to give him more information on this _Alorest_. He knew the sender had to be Ruby, knowing her, she probably tipped Sam off against her better judgment. He had a feeling deep in his gut, his intuition telling him that no good was going to come from it. Knowing that he should probably listen to the nagging voice that kept saying, “ _You know you’re not going to like what you find_.”

He grabbed his bag, hopped in the Impala and left for Pontiac late that night. He was always more comfortable in the car anyway, his car.

 _Dean’s_  car.

His hand gripped tighter on the wheel as his foot pressed harder into the gas pedal. Moments of silence like this, with just the low rumble of the Impala’s engine were the worst for Sam. Constantly bringing back memories of a better time, a time when he still had Dean. The long road trips, the shitty diner food and the bonding they had done; all of it was something that now, Sam wishes he never took for granted. Maybe if he had been a better brother, tried _harder_  somehow.

_Maybe he’d still be alive._

And maybe Sam wouldn’t be all alone, left to pick up the pieces of himself he lost when Dean died. All the ‘ _maybe’s_ ’ and ‘ _what if’s_ ’ were what literally drove Sam mad for the longest time after Dean first died. The main reason why Sam had preferred the company of Ruby over the endless pity of his own mind, because it never stopped, Sam _never_ stopped blaming himself.

* * *

Sam had been in Pontiac for about two days, shacked up in this old abandoned house in the middle of nowhere, which looked like it would probably crumble if the wind blew the wrong way. He was edgier than normal, a mixture of being in this town and the withdrawal from the demon blood hitting him full force. To be fair though, he couldn’t be anywhere near this town without his nerves standing on end, an overwhelming sense of nausea usually followed afterwards. It was just that being in this town just hurt too damn much, _period_.

This was where they had buried Dean, put him in the ground. Sam had to stifle a sentimental chuckle when he thought that Dean would probably be rolling over in his grave if he knew Sam had buried him instead of burning the body. When the time came though, Sam couldn’t do it. He needed a place to come to, to be close to Dean when it all came crashing down on him. When it had all became too much for Sam to think, to breathe, to live without his brother.

Back to the task at hand though, he had managed to find at least one of the demon’s he was looking for. Even managed to wrestle her into the house, had her tied up and stuck in a devil’s trap, just the way _they_  had always done it.

 _Sam and Dean_.

Sam was confident that he had her at her breaking point, wouldn’t take long and soon he could derive some sort of plan to get rid of all three; Lilith, Azazel _and_  whoever this Alorest was.

“Okay!” The blonde haired demon exclaimed, her face covered with cuts and drying blood, “Okay.”

“Location is all I need,” Sam crouched in front of her, tracing the tip of the knife down the side of her cheek, “Where’s this supposed to go down?”

“I’m dead anyway,” She closed her eyes and leaned into the knife a little, trying to encourage Sam to just end her.

“Then there isn’t any reason for you to not level with me here,” Sam pulled away, eying her carefully, “The location, _now_.”

“Fine,” The blonde snorted, “Since you’re so eager to know.”

She had Sam’s full attention. _**Finally**_. He was about to get the information he needed. The blonde demon squirmed as close to the edge of her seat as she could, smiling twistedly up at Sam.

“You’re. Brother’s. Grave,” And if those words alone hadn’t knocked both the color and the wind right out of him, the bitch had made it a point to enunciate each word perfectly.

Sam couldn’t even think. And even when he tried, his only thought was _Dean_. He had to get there and make sure that no one was doing anything to his brother’s grave. He didn’t understand what was happening, none of this made any sense; he just knew that he had to go and _soon_. 

Sam looked at the demon, his eyes were hard; any light that might of been left in them was almost completely gone. In one swift motion, he flipped the knife in his hand then shoved it with force up through the demon’s chin. He stood and watched for a few minutes as a sense of sick satisfaction washed over him, watching the blood drip down the knife. It wasn’t normally like Sam to kill both the demon and the person it was possessing. Maybe he could blame it on the withdrawal he was having, or maybe he was just at the end of his rope and was tired of everything. Either way, there were bound to be a few casualties every once in a while right?

* * *

It was getting late, just dark enough to hide the entirety that is Sam Winchester behind the tree line. He didn’t like what he was seeing, and in all honesty, it took every ounce of will power he had not to just step out into the open and kill what he could. It almost looked like they were performing some sort of ritual, at least a dozen demon’s gathered around his brother’s grave. He felt sick knowing that, if they ended up defiling his brother’s grave in anyway, he’d go down swinging, trying to protect it. Much to his relief though, they hadn’t touched it. They all appeared to be just _waiting_  on something; someone.

Sam was so intent on figuring this all out, watching the demon’s that were gathered around Dean’s grave carefully. He didn’t notice the swarm of demon’s that had came up behind him quietly. It was more than he was used to handling by himself, he knew he was outnumbered. Even with his body withdrawing from Ruby’s blood, he was strong enough to take at least a few of them down, before more of them descended on him; rendering him helpless. He fought though, tooth and nail. 

He had managed to break free of their grip once, but was disheartened slightly when it took them no time at all to get him back under the restraints of their hands. For whatever reason, the demons were leading Sam to his brother’s grave. The sick and clearly satisfied smiles on the other demon’s faces was enough to knot Sam’s stomach up something fierce. What were they doing? And better yet, why did they act like they had expected Sam all along?

 _Son of a bitch_.

Because they had; all of it, it was all a _trap_.

The two demon’s that had Sam under their vices held him so tight that even Sam couldn’t shake them off. He could hear one of them chuckling, saying something along the lines of, “ _He’ll be here soon._ ”

Sam felt his skin crawl, this was wrong, all of it. Why here? Why his brother’s grave?

At some point during that line of thought was when the slightest movement from the ground had caught Sam’s eye. The dirt was moving and what he could’ve sworn was dirty blonde hair was breaking through. Sam fell to his knees when it hit him that only one person was under the ground at that exact location; Dean. That was _Dean’s_  hair. He shook his head, denying the fact that any of this was happening; it had to be a dream. The obvious amusement on the demon’s faces wasn’t doing much to sate Sam’s mind. He didn’t know what to expect, he just lowered his head and awaited the worst.


	2. Prologue - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Season 3. It’s been 2 years since Dean was dragged to Hell. He knows the changes happening to him are out of his control, but no matter how hard he tries to hold onto Dean Winchester, he feels it slipping.

I’m not sure when I started really losing it, and changing into something else, down in Hell. It was some time between killing humans and killing demons, I’m sure; Some time after the age range expanded and I’d started tearing through children without even batting an eyelash.

It was definitely after that, because I remember being ashamed of the first few thousand or two of them, with their young faces, tears on their chubby cheeks as they stared up at the broken, maddened man. But, when they all started looking the same, I sort of stopped caring about how their necks shuddered off bone and muscle with my meat hook halfway through it.

After a while, they didn’t even look like humans to me anymore, just cattle; Or less. Less than cattle. Children, no older than seven, with pig tails and snotty noses, little t-shirts with spaceships on them. How they got into Hell, I couldn’t have guessed if I’d tried. But I stopped caring about even _that_ after a while.

Some time in the midst of everything, between the messes of limbs and torn, bleeding souls, between the whispers of Alastair’s pride in my right ear as he drew his tendrils around my forearm–Some time in there, I lost Dean Winchester.

I’m still not so sure how.

I had such a–a tight, firm grip on the man. He was all I had left, and I held onto him with everything I could, even long after he’d been broken, even after he didn’t refer to himself as a man anymore, I _still_ did. I still needed him. Broken, battered, beaten down, torn open, ruined... I sank my teeth into him in desperation, to try and hold onto the parts that kept me whole.

But I lost him. He just... Slipped out of my grasp.

That’s the moment where, if I had had a mirror to look into, I know what would’ve been staring back was something Dean would’ve been deeply ashamed of; because it wouldn’t be him anymore. It wouldn’t be that short mess of spiky blond hair and those deep, sad, wounded green eyes that he was so use to looking at. It wouldn’t even be _human_.

It would be twisted, it would have teeth as sharp as swords. It would have the claws that I use to torture my victims, the ones on my rack. It wouldn’t need devices to do his pricking and cutting. The shape alters, once that happens.

Once you become a demon. When your name has changed. And Dean, “Dean, good evening,” becomes “Alorest, come this way.”

When you can see the other demons for what they really are, when they become monsters instead of just dark shapes. 

After that, you stop tearing through humans, and you start in on the demons. You work your way up the ranks, through the masses, like I did. You eat them. You gain power, you gain control. You... _You_ create demons. Demons like Dean Winchester.

He was a man that creatures knew well. He was feared by them.

I’m sure, at quite a few points in his life, they considered how great of a demon he would become, once they’d managed to get him down here.

And now they know.

In time, I’ll make every last one of them regret creating something like me. And, when I’m strong enough, I’ll make Azazel wish he’d never messed with Dean Winchester’s family.

There are only two things, two things at this point that even matter to me anymore (besides for my own, personal hate for Alastair). They are both things that keep me grounded and give me purpose, and both of them mattered to the Winchesters. That’s sort of what I’m suppose to be, even though I don’t feel it anymore. It mattered to Dean. And he matters to me.

Killing Azazel was one of them. Dean never said that one, but I always felt it in his heart; and it was everything to John, it was what he spent his life trying to do.

And then, there’s Dean’s wish. The one word he ever said down here, the one thing he thought of. Sam Winchester. Sam. _Sammy_.

Sam is still up there, Sam is alone. And he’s been alone for a really, really long time now.

He’s in danger.

And Dean wouldn’t rest until he got back there, in that front line position between his brother and the things that would hurt him.

That’s where I need to be.

Even if I don’t have Dean anymore, even if he’s gone completely, changed into me, that is a feeling that I have burning the coal inside of my heart. It was what Dean lived for, keeping Sam safe, looking out for him.

Once I get back up top, over revenge, over everything, protecting Sam Winchester is the highest priority.

Somewhere inside, there are parts of me that reassure: it’s not going to be easy. But of the two brothers, Sam was always more accepting of demons than Dean was. If anyone would listen, if anyone would trust, or at least allow my protection, it’ll be Sam.

I have to get back up there to him. And I’ll eat every single demon on the way to the surface of Earth.

* * *

I know that both Azazel and Alastair have began to get uneasy with my latest victims. The more I eat, the closer to them I get. The more victims I take, the stronger I become. And, down here in Hell, you can see the difference. There’s horns and spikes, fins and presence, teeth; Tendrils, if you’re like Alastair.

You change the stronger you get; and they don’t like what I look like anymore, now that I can see them eye to eye instead of staring up at them when I talk. And I’ve done so much in an astonishingly short time span. Most of the humans that were on the same rack Dean was, I’ve eaten and long-since surpassed, even though they were demons decades before he changed.

I imagine that the only reason why Alastair and Azazel don’t worry about me killing one, or both, of them, is because demons don’t really understand revenge. Especially a revenge from a Winchester, like the years John spent to hunt down the Yellow-eyed demon.

He ruined his kids, just by trying to find the damn thing.

Demons don’t understand that.

And Alastair wouldn’t understand my hate for him at all. He tortured Dean’s father, he tortured Dean, until he became me. And what... What little part of human semblance that I have, the part of Dean that was left behind in this monster, the being that remembers that poor broken man, hates him for it all.

Alastair probably can’t imagine how horribly I loathe him.

So I, remembering that feeling of revenge and hate, question the moment him and Azazel bring me along the side one day, drawing me from my rack of mangled human corpses.

They don’t talk to me often and, when they do, it isn’t like this.

Azazel, as I can see at once, is eager.

Alastair settles his tendrils around my forearm, much like he did with Dean, and he leans all three of his heads in to voice the offer to me.

“I know you want to walk above again,” He says and as I’m listening, watching Azazel’s smile widen, I know that this isn’t a normal offer, and I’m probably not going to refuse it.

_Lilith is on earth still, and Sam Winchester is._

I tilt my head and, if I were human, I might have had brows to raise, “What do I have to do?”

Even Alastair smiles at this comment, “There is a hunter on your rack, Alorest.”

“The one from Wisconsin, Ross Hart,” I confirm and he nods, “I know he’s close to breaking, I can feel it. What do you want me to do?”

Azazel leans in this time, nearly shoving Alastair out of the way to talk to me, “Take him from the rack, bring him here. We can break him here.”

“I’ve broken plenty of hunters, what’s so special about this one?”

Alastair shrugs, “Nothing’s special about him. But if we sacrifice his broken soul, you can go up to the surface, and bring Azazel with you.”

_Not just me, not alone. That’s what they’re offering._

_Go up to Earth again, but bring the lion up as he clasps onto my shackles. The same demon that John fought so hard to destroy, the one Dean put a Colt bullet through the head of._

“If we go up, there’s something more, what else?”

Alastair shook his heads, “It doesn’t matter, it’s nothing major. Nothing, like staying down here. Just say ‘yes’.”

“How can two demons, as large as we are, go up to the surface just by breaking a hunter?” I ask, suddenly suspicious.

Azazel smiles wide at the question, “That’s exactly how. We’re not just killing the poor bastard, we’re using _ourselves_ as well; You’re strong enough now. Alastair will do the most, but... Well, it’s none of your concern.”

“Just say ‘yes’,” Alastair repeats, watching me.

_What can I do? How can I argue?_

This is the first time they’ve mentioned rising up in over a hundred years.

_If it’s possible, to get back to Sam, I’ll do it. And then I’ll rise up on the Earth and I’ll tear Azazel apart._

“You’ll have to find a vessel,” Alastair explains, “Once you get to the surface; if your own meatsuit isn’t up for grabs, you’ll have to find another.”

“It’s been years. There’s not much for skin on that corpse; it’s just gross muck and bones by now.”

“You’ll be whole again, trust me,” Azazel responds, which is like trusting a starving fox in a room full of hens, “Our abilities will fix anything like that. It just can’t bring your body back, if your brother salted and burned it.”

_Like he should’ve._

Which means it probably is, especially after this long. If Sam didn’t to begin with, he would’ve given up by now and torched Dean’s body, just in case something _else_ slithered in. But that matters very little. I haven’t been Dean Winchester in over a hundred years at least, wearing his skin is low priority. If it’s not there, I’ll just find someone else.

And, even being inside of Dean, I won’t ever be him again. Sam won’t see me that way, either. He’ll know I’ve changed. He’ll know what I am.

Lying about it, when he knows his brother so well, would be the stupidest thing to do at that point. I didn’t get to where I am by being naive and careless. With Sam, it’s best to be up front, and as honest as possible.

I may have eaten a good deal of the lesser demons in Hell, but it doesn’t mean I know things. They’re not much for talking and , when they do, it’s never really to teach you anything. Knowledge is power, no matter what way you look at it, and the last thing they want is to give me, the demon formerly known as Dean Winchester, knowledge with which little to no humans know.

Even demons aren’t completely stupid.

That’s why the spell, the power, the ability, the ‘bad mojo’ as Dean would’ve called it in the past, whatever it is–The thing that Alastair and Azazel have cooked up to raise me up, is very vaguely explained, and I’m left wondering exactly what the fuck kind of strings they’ve pulled, to make this happen.

It takes years to prepare.

It takes me keeping that hunter from my rack, and walking him around with me, protecting the poor, boney bastard from all of the demons that want to rip him to ribbons.

Even then, he’s still gotten shredded a good handful of times.

He’s young though, like Dean was, and he’s strong. He has admirable will, but that never does anyone any good. Look what it did to Dean and John. Both of them are gone now. And this poor little guy is going to get it too, once I break his soul into pieces.

But if that’s all I have to do to get up to Earth, I’d do it to a million hunters, just to chance a second of time seeing Sam Winchester’s face.

He won’t be happy that I’ve lost Dean. But, I imagine, he’ll be glad that that soul is still intact, and still remembers changing his diapers. Maybe that’ll be enough to let him spare me.

* * *

It doesn’t take long to break the young hunter, Ross Hart, once Alastair and Azazel are ready for it to happen. I’m sure he has some warped idea of what’s going on, at least. He knows what I’m planning to do, and his knees practically shake any time I look at him.

He talks, some times, he mentions things in passing, stories of monsters he’s killed. He has a sense of humor not entirely unlike Dean. He reminds me of the guy, a bit.

But it makes me hate him.

Even _I_ can feel pain at the lack of Dean; and being around Ross Hart does everything to remind me of the horrible loss of my old self. It makes me miss Dean more, it makes me claw at my insides to try and find him. But all it ever does is leave grooves in my walls.

He’s not coming back, he’s gone.

That is why Alastair will pay, as well as Azazel. He took the smart alec, bad attitude, sarcastic hunter from me.

Ross Hart isn’t at particular fault for being like him, maybe I should try to be more grateful to the man, for giving me that kind of company before it’s lights out. He did, on occasion, make me laugh, and not because of some torn and broken human I’ve maimed, but because of real, honest humor.

That hasn’t happened down here before, not once.

It’s what he says before I shatter his soul, before I kill him, that bothers the parts that remember Dean Winchester.

I blink and stop, hear the shrill, harsh laughter from Azazel as he comes up behind me.

The hunter collapses into the engraving on the ground, and his blood pours out from his broken body in ringlets through the rocks.

There’s a sudden, sharp sting in my chest and, before I can stop him, Azazel has stabbed me through my left peck with his forefinger; a jagged black claw twisting into the dead of my heart.

“What you’ve done,” the hunter had said, “What you do today, disgraces everything your father was known for, Dean Winchester. He’s ashamed, and so would your brother be.”

It’s the words that pierce harder than Azazel.

_He’s ashamed._

And then I’m being lifted from the ground, light is filling everything around a world that’s normally so dark, and black, and cold. I’m heating up.

_He’s ashamed, and so would your brother be._

Azazel, claw tightening in my chest, smirks and laughs as the white light burns through us.

If I'd had eyes, they would've snapped open then. So, at first, there ’s confusion, the darkness of the world around me and I turn, disembodied, to find the black emptiness is everywhere.

After looking down to nothing as well, I look up and see him.

It’s not like I expect, being in this form. But, then again, I’d never really given it much thought.

Either way though, he’s _completely beautiful_ to me. He’s just like I remember. He looks like _home_. The freckles smattering his nose and cheeks, the stubble, the pitch black shirt and torn up jeans.

To me, I don’t even see the muck of a corpse that would be here, I just see _him_.

In the darkness, he’s as bright as white light, and I move close. I don’t know how else to explain it, considering I have no body or real frame of my own, no arms with which to wrap around him, but that’s what it feels like.

Then, I’m opening my eyes, and I’m him.

The fingers flex when I lift them, the body doesn’t breathe, because I don’t need air, but the reflex feels like it should be there. And I’m blinking with his eyes, staring up at the top of the coffin.

Tearing through the wood and climbing through the dirt is easier than I could’ve imagined, considering I remember what it was like, being human, but I make it up and out without harm.

I stand on the bowed legs and pat the dirt from my body.

What comes to my sight first isn’t what I expect, and I feel the hate burn into me at once at the sight of Dean Winchester’s brother being held at victim’s position before me.

The demons look pleased at their catch.

In a way, so am I.

He wasn’t so hard to find and, protecting him, saving him from these lower-lings will be as easy as breathing. And I don’t need to breathe.


	3. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Season 3. It’s been 2 years since Dean was dragged to Hell. Unable to find a way to bring his brother back, Sam has been living a miserable solitude of working cases on his own. When learning of a demon named Alorest is being risen to Earth, he arrives at the grave of his brother to find that the demon has taken form in his brother’s corpse. But, is Alorest just a demon, or really the creature Dean has become after suffering in Hell for so long?

The demons had Sam’s arms bent so that he couldn’t get up, on his knees and vulnerable to whatever was happening. His whole body was shaking and at this point, he wished that he would’ve listened to his intuition; that told him to stay as far away from this place as possible. But now, now it was too late. He grimaced and came to terms with the fact that things were over for him. The only silver lining he found in all of this was the fact that at least he’d be with Dean again, even if it was in Hell. That was, until he looked up.

It felt like someone had hit a button and sucked all the air right out of Sam’s chest, he was practically choking. If anything hurt more than watching his brother die, it was this, looking up at the body that belonged to his brother; his brother that **died** two years ago. Even for Sam, this was a lot to take in, he kept trying to convince himself that he was in the Twilight Zone or something. A small tear slid down his cheek as he struggled to look up again.

“Dean?!” Sam managed to choke out, but he wasn’t holding out any hope at all that it was, in fact, Dean.

Alorest couldn’t help smiling at the situation before him, the demons holding Sam Winchester down, he stepped forward over the weakened dirt and plucked the blade from the tall man’s person.

“I would say,” Alorest started, smiling wider as he pulled back the demon from Dean Winchester’s brother’s side, and observed the lower-ling, “you’re in quite the predicament, aren’t you, little Sammy?”

His eyes met the young man’s, staring deep into them as his own flicked to black. He could see the tatters beginning even there. Sam’s loss of his brother had wounded him; but there was also… something else. The demon in him, the blood, the thirst.

Alorest turned his head to the side curiously, nose pointing to the demon he’d taken, even as his eyes stayed trained on Sam, “It wasn’t too bright of you, getting caught by this group.”

Sam had to fight back a sob, his eyes were burning. He hadn’t even allowed himself to think of this situation and here it was, playing out in front of him. A demon had taken his brother’s body, a body that should have been nothing but bones by now. Which means there has to be something bigger at play here. Sam felt sick.

“Get out of my brother, you black-eyed son of a bitch!” Sam spat, every word was laced with more venom than the last.

“Sammy,” Alorest chuckled, looking back to the demon he still had the arm of, “This isn’t you’re ‘brother’, it’s just a body. “And I’m the closest that you’re ever going to get to him.”

He took the blade and swung up suddenly, catching the first demon’s throat. Alorest pressed his boot into the corpse’s chest and threw out his hand, blasting the rest of the demons around back off of their feet as he took up the second one holding Sam down.

It struggled for a moment, but he buried the blade into it’s chest and handed the woman’s body to Sam.

“ _Regna terrae, cantate Deo_ ,” Alorest spoke calmly as he held the demons at bay, “ _psallite Domino, qui fertis super caelum, caeli ad Orientem. Ecce dabit voci Suae, vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem Deo_.”

The demon that had possessed Sam’s brother’s body must of been incredibly powerful, he had never seen so many demon’s rendered motionless before. A demon that kills other demon’s? He had definitely heard of odder things before, besides, demon’s usually only looked out for themselves anyway.

But a demon is a demon, no matter what body it’s in, and that goes for the one possessing his brother’s. One of the first things he noticed when the demon had slung the woman towards Sam, was that he left the knife in the woman’s chest, practically handing it to him. What Sam was about to do left him conflicted. He knew the thing inside of Dean’s body was a demon, but it was **Dean’s** body still.

As he pulled the knife out of the woman’s chest, he had to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t Dean; not his brother. He had a short window of opportunity while this demon had his back turned, exercising the other demon’s. Sam stood quietly and broke the distance, resting one hand on the demon’s shoulder as he shoved the knife into it’s back.

“Only **one** person is allowed to call me Sammy,” Sam twisted the knife with every word as he growled into the demon’s ear.

Alorest raised a brow as he felt the soft, dull sensation near the base of his spine. He pressed his head closer to Sam, turning to look at him with his dark pools of ink, “I know, but I’m not so far from Dean that I can’t call you Sammy, too, right?”

He shrugged casually, raised his hand again and turned to the demons trapped above their respective bodies. “ _Exsisto in mihi_ ,” He ordered and consumed them as if taking a deep breath, eyes flashing violently before dulling back down to the same coal black.

Sam stumbled back, eyes widening in disbelief at what he had just witnessed. The demon possessing Dean’s body had appeared to practically eat the other’s. Maybe that’s how this demon kept his power? Sam wasn’t sure, but what he did know, was that it **wasn’t** his brother and no one except for Dean had the right to call him Sammy.

“You have his body and that’s it, you’re nothing like him,” Sam protested, standing his ground firmly, “My brother is the **only** one who gets to call me that, and he’s gone.”

Sam’s eyes kept flickering to the demon’s back, confused as to why the knife didn’t work.

Alorest reached around, removed the blade and turned to Sam. He couldn’t argue the kid’s logic, Dean _was_ gone, and it actually hurt him to hear it from Sam Winchester. He didn’t know how right he really **was**.

“You’re right,” The demon agreed, dropping his head and wiping the knife off on Dean’s jeans, “He _is_ gone, you’re right, Sam. I’m… I’m sorry.” He licked his lips, brows narrowing in a tight pull as he tried to figure out just what he’d say to the larger man, how he’d explain himself.

To have that sort of confirmation was enough to mentally break Sam, he felt numb. He stood there watching the demon, his mind had been blown when it'd apologized. And what made the situation worse, was the fact that for a split second, the demon sounded exactly like Dean; emotion and all. Experiencing this was messing with Sam. It would have been so much easier for it to find another body, instead of one that had been in the ground for over two years; which arose a question.

“Why Dean’s body? Why’d it have to be him?” Sam’s eyes were glassy, but his face was cold.

The demon felt his entire being wince at the question, he didn’t want to answer it, but Sam… Sam had to know. He had to be honest with the younger brother. The part of him that remembered Dean Winchester, that gripped onto his memories tighter than anything, they were practically screaming at him though; keep Sam safe, telling him will just hurt him.

_Lie to him._

But he couldn’t. He’d decided long before, that it was key not to lie to Sam. He had to be as honest as possible. Even if it wasn’t what Dean wanted.

“It’s my body,” Alorest responded the best he could and his eyes flicked back to normal, the black vanishing at once, “Sam, it’s my body too.”

Sam shook his head at once, denying the demon’s mind games. He couldn’t handle much more of this before he actually died of heartbreak. He thought that, maybe, he could handle the fact that the demon was in Dean’s body; he’d do his best to take care of it. But with the way the demon was talking, almost had Sam in shambles. For the few seconds in which the demon had spoke, it wasn’t a demon that Sam was looking at, it was **Dean**.

“No,” Sam insisted, clenching his fists, “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yes it **does** , you know it does, Sam,” Alorest insisted, “I’m Dean, I… I _am_ him. I’m-I was him, Sam.” He could barely get the words out. Watching Sam, the way he was looking at him, the older Winchester hated this look.

This was the expression Dean tried his hardest to prevent.

“I was Dean,” He said, his voice almost breaking. He didn’t feel particularly mournful, or saddened, but he **missed** Dean. And seeing _his_ brother like this, Alorest knew it was something that would’ve broken his heart.

Every fiber of Sam’s body put the effort in to close the distance between the two of them. Sam wasn’t exactly being logical, but if he was going to die, he’d rather do it in Dean’s arms; whether Dean was actually home upstairs or not.

He was a full grown man who was reduced to looking like a little kid, sobbing and clinging on to Dean. And that’s what he’d tell himself in his final moments too, _this was Dean_ , and Sam would convince himself of it up until the demon inevitably killed him.

Sam closed his eyes and tightened his arms around the demon.

Alorest’s eyes widened in surprise at the response from the younger Winchester. But, upon instinct, both from the body he was in and from his own soul, he wrapped his arms around Sam and held tightly onto him, one hand cradling the back of his head in an almost nurturing way.

He wanted to fix this, he wanted to make it better, he wanted to do something to help Dean’s brother. But he didn’t know **how**. He’d been trying to find Dean for decades. He’d never even really gotten a glimmer of the older Winchester until now.

Some how, being around Sam, he felt stirrings of something inside of him, some part of Dean, some lingering being, lighting up just by being with him.

Sam had held onto _Dean_ for what seemed like forever, reveling in the fact that the demon had enough courtesy to return the hug. It confused Sam when nothing followed though. He expected it to be quick, all of it would just end and he wouldn’t remember anything. The anticipation of it almost drove him insane.

“Just do it,” Sam sobbed, everything sounding muffled from where he had his face pressed so hard into Dean’s neck, “Just kill me already.”

“I’m not here to kill you, Sam,” Alorest said softly, feeling the tears on his skin, feeling Sam Winchester’s lips against his neck as he spoke. He tightened his hold, smoothing his palm flat over the large man’s back in a reassuring manner. “I came up here to protect you, can’t you see that?” He asked, motioning around them.

He’d expected venom, fury, hate, which would all probably come later, but he didn’t expect the man to practically fall apart against him. Being separated from his brother had clearly broken Sam, he’d seen it, looking at the man’s soul, but now he was experiencing it first hand.

Sam was willing to let Alorest kill him just to get away from the pain.

It wasn’t fair, to have his brother dangled in front of him like this, without Dean actually being there. It sounded like _Dean_ though and it felt just like his brother. Sam pulled away, using his hands to rub the tears and dirt off of his face.

“I’ve done just fine without you,” Sam’s was almost monotone when he spoke, but there was sadness in his voice, “I don’t need you to protect me.”

“No, but I-” Alorest moved before he could stop himself, one hand grabbing Sam’s left biceps to keep him close, “I came up here for you, don’t you see that? I… Sam, I _had_ to come up, I have to protect you, I have to look out for you; it’s my job.”

Sam pulled his arm from the demon and stepped back, shaking his head as he looked at the shorter man incredulously.

“And let me guess, you just expect me to be okay with that? To just let you protect me?” Sam squinted at the demon, “This is just a lot to take in.”

He contemplated it though, just letting the demon protect him. _How bad could it be? Having a little bit of his brother back, mainly just the flesh, but would it be enough?_ He felt selfish for wanting it so badly, but in all honesty, it would **never** be Dean unless it was also his mind **and** soul; not just his body.

Alorest turned, looking around at the bodies again, “It’s what I came up here to do, Sam. Without it… All I have is revenge. I have to protect you. Even if you say ‘no’, I’m just going to keep on following you. So-You might as well just agree. It’ll make it easier for both of us, and probably be less awkward.”

“Why do you need to protect me anyway?” Sam narrowed his eyes, “What’s coming?”

Like too many times before this point, he found himself thinking that he knew damn well he probably wouldn’t want to know. But if there is one thing that Sam is, it’s persistent.

“I didn’t come up alone,” Alorest said uneasily, “Another demon tagged along, and Lilith’s up here, too. It’s… It’s my business, it’s ours, right? She’s still walking. But that’s… That’s not just it. I have to protect you, it’s… It’s what I do. It’s what Dean lived and died for. It’s my purpose.”

Sam knew he wouldn’t be able to slide right into an easy camaraderie with the demon. He wanted to trust him, but Sam also knew that him wanting to trust the demon had more to do with what the demon _looked_ like rather than his **words**.

“Let’s just say I give you the benefit of the doubt,” Sam shrugged, “What then? And who’s the other demon?”

“You’re not gonna like it, either way I say it.”

Alorest turned his head at the words, the tone, the shortcut in it and his brows narrowed as he considered them.

“You’re here to protect me from physical harm,” Sam shook his head, “Not emotional. Just tell me who it is.”

“Azazel,” The demon said softly, feeling a sharp, sudden pain in his chest, directly over his heart. He winced, reaching up to rub at it.

_Great_. He’d been sure that they were done with that yellow-eyed son of a bitch. What purpose would _his_ coming back even serve? Both John and Mary were dead, Dean was _sort of_ dead, which only left Sam.

_**Shit**_.

He and Dean had barely managed to handle him together last time. Which sparked Sam’s curiosity, because he was there, he watched the bullet of the colt go right through Azazel’s head. _How was he still alive?_

“He’s supposed to be dead. Y-You…” Sam ran his hand over his face out of frustration, “I mean _Dean,_ I watched **_Dean_ ** kill him.”

Alorest shook his head, stepping away from the grave site finally, taking the larger man’s forearm and leading him along, “I’m not sure if anything **does** die, Sam. Not at this point. Down there, I’d seen things we’d killed… _Bloody Mary_ , the _Hookman_. I don’t know if anything ever really dies. Azazel had come from somewhere else, though. He didn’t **start** in Hell. They didn’t talk about it much, but I heard a few things, enough to know he’d died, he’d went somewhere else, and he got back.”

Things were making a _little_ bit more sense. It was obvious that the demon wanted to protect Sam **from** Azazel, that much was clear. It was just a little hard for Sam to concentrate on any of it when the demon said things like, “ _Things we’d killed_.” As if the demon was Dean, which was practically what the demon had said, right? That he **used** to be Dean.

The demon might have tried to convince Sam that Dean was completely gone, but after talking to the demon, Sam wasn’t so sure. Yeah, he’d keep his space and be cautious around him, but Sam knew that Dean was in there _somewhere_ and even if it took all the time in the world, he’d find him again; _he had to_.

“Okay,” Sam looked at the hand on his forearm, he smiled softly to himself when he remembered that he had all the freckles on Dean’s knuckles memorized, “Where do we go from here?”

“He came up with me,” Alorest spoke, rubbing over that spot on his chest again, “First thing is locating him, he’s the freshest lead we’ll find, we just got to knock it out of a few bigger demons, these ones were just,” He swallowed and made a sickened face, “Weak.”

“How exactly do you propose we go about doing that?” Although Sam had a feeling that they wouldn’t have to look too hard, the demons would more than likely find them, “And are you even strong enough to practically take all of them on by yourself?”

“Not just me,” The demon said, eyes running up and down Sam as he smirked knowingly. He’d been calculating this for years now, how he’d track Lilith down. All that was left now was to temporarily change the name and tactics, and he’d have one down, one to go. He didn’t come up completely empty handed, “We’ve got to get you juiced up too. I might be able to pull it off on my own, if I eat enough of them, but with you, it’ll be as easy as _pie_.”

For someone who had gone a few days without demon blood, Sam didn’t look **too** bad. If you could just look past his incessant twitching and the dark circles under his eyes. All in all, he had kept it together pretty well. He had ample opportunity to just drink a little here and there, but most of the time he just restrained himself. It was easy with Ruby, he had gotten into a  comfortable routine with her. Drinking from random demon’s just felt _wrong_ , which was pretty damn funny if you thought about it. Like drinking demon blood is so righteous in the first place.

“Yeah?” Sam questioned, a little leery about how exactly the demon planned on getting him _juiced up_.

Alorest raised his arms, almost as if offering a hug, “I’m practically an all you can eat buffet,” He said, smiling at the dry humor, “And blood from me, well… Might as well have an endless supply of prime grade beef as your partner in crime.”

It was against Dean’s wishes, but the demon was able to ignore it well enough and move on. Guilt wasn’t something he could feel anymore, even though he remembered it, and knew he should probably be feeling it right now. He needed Sam strong and, really, who cared about the younger Winchester drinking his milk each morning? It wasn’t like it changed who he was. It just made him hungry, and powerful. And with Alorest around, well, he wouldn’t have to starve.

As badly as Sam wanted it, he wasn’t about to just plain out **ask** for it right then. He’d be patient if he had to be. Of course, now that he was thinking about the whole situation, he wondered just how awkward it would be drinking from this demon who looked exactly like his brother; considering when he drank from Ruby things were **slightly** intimate, or had been at one point.

“Sounds good,” Was all Sam could muster, he bit his bottom lip and thought of the adrenaline rush he’d get right after tasting the blood.

“We should go, get at least some distance from here, it’s late,” Alorest said, not missing the look in Sam’s eyes. He’d been withdrawing from blood, it was clear enough just from his pupils. The demon would’ve offered up his own, if they weren’t standing out in the open, exposed to any creature of the night. Sam was a human, not a _vampire_ , drinking blood out here was just stupid.

“Once we get somewhere more secure, we’ll get you back up to a hundred and fifty percent, yeah?”

Sam nodded and gestured ahead, “The car is right up here around the corner.”

* * *

He tried to feel easier in the passenger’s seat of the Impala, but it wasn’t a spot Dean was particularly comfortable being in, which made him feel less for it. His hands sat on his knees and he stared forward into the darkness of the road ahead, listening to the silence, eyes occasionally glancing over to the taller man sitting in the driver’s seat.

Sam had taken up well with all of this. Alorest knew it’d be easier with him, but not _this_ easy. Somehow, with how simple it was, it made him fear what might happen further along.

Eventually, Sam was bound to have a problem, or think of something, or question an intent of his, solely based on the fact that he was a _demon_ now. And, by the time that happened, Alorest would have to have figured out a way to make sense to him again, to convince him where his loyalties really lie, to give him a reason to trust.

Sam would look over occasionally, noticing how still the demon was. His body language was rigid and nothing at all like Dean’s, that made Sam just a little uneasy. It looked and sounded like Dean though, which is what messed with Sam’s head the most. He’d find himself throwing fond smiles to the demon only to remember that it wasn’t Dean, which left Sam feeling like his heart was damn near breaking all over again.

The silence was almost too much for Sam to handle at this point, especially after coming off so awkward. Who could blame him though? This was a lot to take in. Sam reached over and turned the radio on, soft rock that Dean used to insist on filled the silence between them.

Alorest’s head turned slightly, almost as if about to speak, but he didn’t. And, with his eyes still on the road, he nodded, considering it. The lyrics of the song were predictable, _Dean_ knew every word, and he eventually found his mouth moving to them, lipping them, even though no sound came out; _this was a personal favorite_.

Sam hadn’t particularly realized that he kept gawking, but what he was seeing was real, _right_? The demon was lip syncing to this song and that alone almost left Sam dumbfounded.

“H-How do you know this?” Sam asked, his eyes were wider than necessary.

“I am **still** something of your brother, you know,” Alorest offered, narrowing his brows as Sam interrupted his favorite spot in the song. He turned though, looking at the larger man, “I’m not him, but I **remember** him. And I remember… I remember everything. He… He use to play this song for you, this album, when you studied. Led Zeppelin helped you concentrate on your work.”

Sam kept looking back and forth between the road and the demon who looked like his brother, almost in awe, “Dude, that’s really fuckin’ creepy.”

It probably wasn’t the most articulate thing Sam had ever said, but he was amazed at how the demon tapped right into Dean’s memories. It was almost like it **was** Dean sitting right next to him, _except it wasn’t_.

“Look,” Alorest clenched his jaw and stared at Sam’s hands on the steering wheel for a long while before he spoke, “It’s not like I’m a Shapeshifter, downloading him into my mind. I **was** him, I was Dean. I had him. He was me, he just…” The demon swallowed, turning away finally, “I was him, but I’m not anymore. It’s been a long time, but that was **my** life, those are **my** memories. It shouldn’t surprise you, it shouldn’t be _creepy_ ; that I did those things.”

Sam shook his head but kept his eyes on the road, “You’ll have to excuse me if I’m having a hard time understanding exactly how this works,” The frustration in his voice was clear, “How were you him, but now you’re not?”

Sam’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, he could feel his eyes stinging. All of this was absolutely insane. He wanted more than anything to just accept that the demon sitting next to him was actually his brother, he wanted to give in for once and let a **real** smile tug at his lips.

“How is that not easy to understand, Sam?” Alorest said, suddenly angry, he didn’t realize that he’d taken the _older brother tone_ with Sam, “That’s how demons are made. You go to Hell, you see things, you change, you lose yourself. You’re the same soul, the same everything, but you’re different.”

Sam pulled the car over along side the road, hitting the breaks hard causing both of them to jerk forward slightly. He turned to look at the demon, angry but hurt, “Are you or are you not my brother?” Sam’s voice shook, he kept the demon’s gaze even though his sight was misting.

Alorest stared at him, eyes wide and nearly furious, “My car, you mind?!” He said out of reflex, motioning to the breaks.

Sam’s heart ached at what the demon said, it sounded just like _Dean_.

He clenched his jaw, “Answer my question.”

“I don’t know how else to explain it, if it’s not getting through clear enough already,” Alorest said, staring at Sam, “I was him, he’s gone. If there’s anything left of your brother, ever, it’s me. I’m all that’s _left of him_. He’s in here,” Alorest pressed his fingers to his temple, “Either he’s somewhere in here, or he’s no where at all. Don’t you understand? It’s… It’s like _amnesia_. It’s like being someone new, while remembering everything, but not actually being them. You just **are** them. You fit in their body the way they did,” His voice grew softer, smaller, “You fit because that’s the only place you can go. It’s home, even if you’ve changed.”

Sam contemplated what the demon said, it made sense enough. He was just a little bitter because he wanted **all** of Dean back, not just bits and pieces. He felt a tear sliding down his cheek, he shook his head and wiped it away quickly as he turned away from the demon. Sam put the car back in drive and got back on the road without saying anything else.

Alorest looked out the window, sitting silently for a long while before he spoke up again, “I wish I could be him for you, too, if that amounts to anything.”

Sam let out  a shuddery breath, “It does,” Truth be told it did mean something to Sam, helped reinforce his trust in the demon a little somehow, “Thanks.”


	4. Chapter 2

The rest of the car ride back was almost excruciatingly silent, Sam probably couldn't have formed a proper sentence if he wanted to. His mind was too busy going into overdrive trying to analyze everything the demon said.

He was relieved to be back at the hotel though, he felt like he'd been put through the ringer. He grabbed the duffel out of the back seat and went to the hotel room door to open it. After stepping inside, he threw his bag down and looked back at the demon. Sam gestured to the other bed, "You can have that one as long as you promise you're not gonna kill me in my sleep," Even though Sam was pretty sure he wouldn't get any sleep tonight anyway.

“No, I don’t sleep,” The demon said before he could stop himself. He shut the door behind him and walked further into the room, “But thank you for the sentiment. I’ll probably check the area, later, though.”

Sam shifted nervously, "Well you're not gonna like, watch me while I sleep are you?" He was partially joking, even though he sounded dead serious.

Alorest shook his head, “No, not... unless you want me to,” He rose his brows and then smirked, shucking off his jacket finally, “So, what say we juice you up already? I can tell it’s getting to you, you’ve been drinking, haven’t you? Even when Dean didn’t want you to. But it’s been... Longer than you’re use to, without it.”

Sam glared at the demon only momentarily, "Yeah," He removed his jacket as well and slipped his boots off, "I mean yes, to the blood." Sam shook his head slightly as he thought to himself that he shouldn't have had to clarify anything.

"So," Alorest looked over the larger Winchester in observance, "How are we going to do this?" He knew the ropes, but he was curious how Dean's younger brother would respond. Even imagining Sam drinking demon blood was amusing to him, he was curious to **actually** see it.

Sam sauntered over to the edge of the bed and pulled out his pocket knife before he sat down, he raised his brows and patted the area next to him. This was going to be a whole new experience for Sam, a little embarrassing too, he always felt like a freak show when he drank.

The demon followed after, eyes locked on Sam as he took the offered seat and settled in, resting his hands on his knees and his gaze traveled to the sharp, reflective blade of the knife.

Sam noticed that the demon was looking at the knife and he couldn't help but chuckle sarcastically, "If the other knife wouldn't do anything to you, I doubt this will. _Relax_." Sam grabbed the demon's wrist and it felt **wrong** , felt like Dean, but _goddamn_ he needed it. He could get over his emotions long enough to get the blood in him. Sam rested the sharp edge of the blade on the demon's wrist and looked at him reassuringly, "This trust thing is a two way street."

"No, I trust you," Alorest admitted, "I have to, I have nothing, if I don't have that." He meant it, it was one of the only parts of him he could recognize. Had coming up and protecting Sam, _giving over the knife_ , not proven that? Sam's trust was the one in question, not his.

Sam nodded in acknowledgment and then proceeded to pull the blade across the demon's wrist, cutting the skin just enough to get a decent drink. He was almost mesmerized when his eyes focused on the crimson liquid that had started to flow from the cut. Sam pulled the demon's wrist to his mouth instinctively, lapping his tongue across the cut before he rested his lips around it; obviously not wanting to waste a single drop. Holding both of his hand's against the demon's arm to keep him close wasn't necessary because he knew that he wouldn't pull away from Sam, but he held on firmly **anyway**.

Alorest blinked in surprise, watching curiously at first as his brows rose more. He shifted, swallowing as the feeling stirred, the drawing pull in his arm and his eyes closed. It didn't hurt, pain wasn't something Alorest could understand, even if he was linked to the aches of the body he was in. It felt good though, **really** good, in ways he wasn't sure he was completely registering just yet.

Sam shifted his entire body a little more towards the demon, making it easier to drink. His breathing was starting to get a little heavier, he was only breathing through his nose; his lips hadn't parted from the skin even once. It almost didn't register to Sam; mainly because the blood was taking him to a place he hadn't been to in a few days, but he moaned just slightly before he pulled his red tinted lips from the demon's skin.

Alorest's eyes opened, his chest rising and falling as it took in air he didn't even need, a way of his mind trying to wrap around the unusual pleasure. His pupils had darkened, becoming pitch black pools of coal staring at the younger Winchester, making him appear almost innocent and clueless, even as his mind was spiking in surprise.

Sam dropped the wrist and used the back of his own to wipe his mouth like he'd just had a big meal, "Thanks," He glanced at the demon nervously before flipping his knife and putting it back in his pocket. He tried to avoid too much eye contact, because as often as he'd seen them, the black eyes **always** did something to Sam that even _he_ couldn't explain.

"Any time," Alorest said, voice darker than normal and he withdrew his wrist, thumbing the cut as it closed back up and he felt the blood replace at once. _Fucking blood bank on bowed legs._ "Feel better now?" He asked, trying to ignore the stirrings inside of himself, eyes changing back to normal as he stared at the wall before him.

"Feel brand new," Sam admitted, laughing almost silently to himself as he ran a hand absently over his face, "Strong," He stood up to stretch his legs.

The demon nodded, looking the younger Winchester over and smirking in satisfaction, "That's the idea," He responded as he pulled the second layer of top wear from himself, "Once we meet up with Lilith, you'll be unstoppable. And, with me, she won't stand a chance."

"Speaking of," Sam turned to look at the demon curiously, "How are we even supposed to find her, she's practically dropped off the radar."

"She's a demon," Alorest said as if it explained everything at once, "I'm not saying it's going to be easy but, chances are, she'll come to me. And you have to be ready for that. I can't imagine any of them know my status, just that I'm up on Earth. It's a matter of time before they seek me out and try to recruit me."

Sam raked his eyes over his brother's body and shook his head subtly, "I won't let 'em anywhere near you," He knew that was his protective streak for his brother showing, but he didn't care; _sure as Hell didn't make it any less true._

"What's the worst they can do, Sam? Send me back to Hell?" The demon scoffed, "I'll just get stronger down there. No, the only thing they can do, to cause me harm, is to hurt you," His eyes darkened again, this time from near fury at the thought of them touching his brother, "And that's not going to happen, I can guarantee that."

"And if you're in Hell, the chances of them ganging up on me are pretty high," Sam said matter-of-factly, "So let's just make sure we tag team this situation efficiently." _So that I don't have to live without my brother again, even though you're not technically him,_ he thought.

Alorest nodded, "Good point, I guess," He narrowed his brows, protecting Sam was going to be harder than he thought, if he actually had to worry about _himself_. "I really gotta eat more demons," He said mindlessly, Dean's accent coming through.

Sam froze at how nonchalant the demon was being, the twang of Dean's voice really coming through sent chills down Sam's spine, "Do you even realize how creepy that sounds?"

"An' drinkin' demon blood, that's less creepy?" Alorest raised his brows and smirked at the younger Winchester, the accent weighing in more, "Might as well be the same thin', at this point."

"Yeah," Sam had to smirk at the way the demon was talking, almost made him forget that it wasn't really _Dean_ , "But If I had to choose between watching someone drink demon blood or eatin' demons, I'd rather see someone drinking the blood." Sam shivered when he remembered just how odd it was the first time he watched it happen.

Alorest rolled his eyes, "You have your demons the way you do, an' I have mine. On the upside, my strength stays. An' you're drawin' from me, best to be grateful, Sammy." He didn't realize he'd slipped into the complete comfort of the drawl at this point, sitting back on his elbows and patting his hips in an almost suggestive way, as if to say ' _this is how you want it, now deal_ '.

Sam's eye's lingered on the demon's hips, _Dean's_ hips for a few seconds longer than necessary, " **Not** plural for me," He shrugged as he walked over to the mini fridge for a beer, "I'm more of a one demon kinda guy." It was bad enough that he constantly felt like a freak for being strung out on the shit in the first place, only made sense to just feed from the same demon to avoid any future embarrassments. When he walked back over he handed a beer to the demon, not really sure if alcohol did anything for them or not, "Never said I wasn't grateful."

"Thanks," Alorest popped the cap from his and sipped, "It works out perfectly, gives me more to eat an' gives you, in turn, a stronger demon to draw from. Once I eat Lilith, well, takin' down Azazel will be like a walk in the park. Just imagine feedin' from somethin' like that."

Sam sat back down next to the demon, almost completely disregarding what he was talking about, "So your name's _Alorest_ , huh?"

"Yes, what of it?" Alorest cocked a curious brow, studying Sam.

"I don't like it," Sam took a swig of his beer then looked into the familiar green eyes next to him, "I hope you don't expect me to call you that."

"What..." The demon blinked softly, "Well, then, what **are** you going to call me, if not Alorest?"

Sam's shoulder's went rigid as he looked at the body before him, " _Dean_."

Alorest stared at the younger Winchester, eyes widening slightly as he watched Sam. Even after he knew Dean was gone forever, he was still fighting for the brother he'd lost, "But I'm not-"

" _Please_ ," Sam grimaced, eyes starting to water, "Just let me have this." Part of Sam was hoping deep down, that maybe if he actually started calling the demon _Dean_ , that it would somehow bring his brother back to him.

"Alright," Alorest's brows tightened together, feeling his chest constrict at the clear showing of pain over Sam Winchester's face and he nodded weakly, unable to resist the human. He reached up, brushing away the beginning trickle of a tear from Sam's cheek.

Sam closed his eyes for a second when the demon brushed his face. It felt crazy, but to have the demon initiate any form of contact with him just left Sam wanting more and he **knew** that it was wrong. The adrenaline from drinking the blood combined with the grieving he was doing for his brother was doing funny things to him and he didn't like it.

"Thank you," Sam looked away and lowered his head.

Alorests's eyes followed his movement and the demon pulled back, shifting over the bed slightly to make some distance, "Thank **you** ," He corrected, remembering his place.

Sam looked back at the demon bemused, "Me," Sam gestured to his chest and furrowed his brows, "For what?"

"Not giving up," Alorest explained, voice soft, "He gave up a long, long time ago. And... Even I've grown weary of it. Having you back, it... It's like home. It's like I can feel **him** again, some times. Almost like he's just there, just out of reach, just out of eye sight. You still haven't given up, even if we _have_. Thank you."

"I know he's in there somewhere, regardless of what you think and that's not something I can give up on," Sam pressed his lips into a hard line as he fought back a sob. Sam was pretty sure he had only ever been emotional in front of one person and that was Dean, so this was **practically** the same thing, right?

Sam bent over as the sob escaped, fresh tears trailing where the previous one had dried, "I **have** to find him, have to bring him back."

The demon's eyes widened as he watched Sam. He didn't know how to respond, how to comfort the man, he wasn't sure what Dean would've done; Dean normally just stood there and broke, himself. But Alorest couldn't do that, nor did he _want_ to. All he knew was that he wanted to stop the hurting, but he wasn't sure where it was, he couldn't just reach in Sam's chest and fix everything, and he couldn't fix himself. He did the only thing he could do, taking Sam into his arms, albeit awkwardly, and began running a smooth circle of his palm between the larger man's shoulders.

Sam bunched Dean's black shirt in his hands and tried muffling his sobs in the demon's neck. He wasn't sure at which point he became the girl Dean had always accused him of being, crying over his feelings. _If Dean were actually here_ , he thought, _he'd be laughing his ass off at me_. Being a Winchester though, Sam was convinced that his last name was tethered to some ancient curse; sure to bring destruction and take away **anything** and **anyone** you love. Now that he had a slight semblance of his brother back (even though Sam knew that it wasn't really Dean, not yet), he figured he was entitled to a few tears, "Do you know how hard it is, to look at you when I miss him this much?"

"Yes," Alorest whispered his answer, still at a loss for words to convey his surprise, "I imagine it's as hard as it was for me, to lose him, to not be able to find him. It's probably something like that." He smiled sadly, "I'll try to find him for you, Sam, I'll try. I'll try harder."

Sam leaned back and tried pulling himself together, wiping his red-rimmed eyes, "Promise me," Sam sniffled and stood back up, "Promise me that you'll try as hard as you can to find him and I promise that I won't leave your side through all of this." _Promises weren't something Winchester's ever went back on_.

"I promise you," The demon said, voice as still as stone, "You have my word, Sam. I will do everything in my power to bring him back, I will stand by you until it is done, you have my **word**." He didn't blink as he said it, not once, his face determined and fierce, like Dean's was, often enough.

Sam nodded silently and threw his body down on the other bed, regardless of the high he was on from the blood, his body still needed rest, "I'm gonna need some sleep, man. That cool with you?" Sam lifted his head to look at the demo- _Dean_ , "I mean, what are you gonna do in the meantime?"

"Hunt, probably," Alorest shrugged, standing up and grabbing up Dean's coat, "I'll put up a few things to take care of you, and check up regularly. But I'll be out, so don't be surprised if you wake up some time in the night and I'm not directly within sight."

"I'm a big boy," Sam hung his arm over his face as he tucked his free hand under the hem of his shirt, laying it on his stomach, "I'll make due."

The demon watched him, eyes following his hand, "That might be a thing, but I'd kill myself if I left you without a guard of my own, you'll survive with some trainin' wheels to pair up with that great big baby diaper you're wearin'."

"If it makes you feel better, Mom," Sam rolled to his side, putting his back towards the demon.

"That's the idea," Alorest responded, placing his hand on the frame of the door and he began a soft, short chant, his skin burning into the wood of it before he pulled away. "I'll be back soon," He assured and left at once, locking the room behind himself.

Sam turned his face and smiled softly into the pillow, sleep ended up pulling him under quicker than he anticipated.

As it would turn out, he ended up having a nightmare. He dreamed that Azazel had Dean and no matter how hard he tried, Dean couldn't get away. There was nothing Sam could do, except stand there and watch as the yellow-eyed demon tore his brother's throat out.

It felt like his feet were glued to the ground, he couldn't go anywhere. And, when the sick satisfied smile splayed over the demon's face, Sam bolted upright as a shaky 'Dean!' escaped his lips.

Alorest raised his brows curiously from his mid-step position before Sam's bed, clear on his way to the door. He stilled, watching the younger Winchester as he straightened up, "Bad dream?"

"You could say that," Sam admitted as he sat up, trying to still his breathing, "Where are you goin'?"

"I came, I saw," The demon smiled, motioning to Sam, "You're fine. Well, apart from the blood-curdling night terror screaming. How's that throat of yours?"

Sam rolled his eyes and huffed, "I didn't _scream_ ," He rubbed his throat, "I'm fine. Anyone ever tell you you're a **jerk**?"

"Anyone ever tell you you're a whiny bitch?" Alorest stood still, hands at his sides, awkwardly silent after the comment as he stared at the other man.

Sam's face went from serious to clearly amused within the span of two seconds, his chest reverberated with laughter, "Yeah actually," He held his stomach as he rolled backwards, "They have."

Alorest stared for a moment before smiling at the younger Winchester, he hadn't seen Sam this carefree since he'd risen. Granted, he wasn't up long, but it was a heart-warming sight, especially since it had been **him** that had caused it.

Sam laughed so hard that he was starting to get warm, so he rolled out of his bed, still chuckling silently as he pulled his shirt off and feigned to fan himself. He walked into the kitchenette to grab him a beer to cool down, clapping _Dean_ on the back on his way. One thing was for sure, the demon kept channeling things like Dean's accent and his sense of humor and that alone reinstalled hope in Sam that **Dean** was in there after all.

Alorest's eyes followed the larger man, it warmed him to know that he could give this to Sam, even if it wasn't everything he'd promised, it seemed like enough, for now. He hoped, in time, that he would be whole again, that he could give the reigns to Dean once more. Dean would never be the same, but he would, eventually, have himself, for the most part.

Sam held on loosely to the neck of the beer bottle as he pressed his back up against the fridge, wincing at the coolness of it, "You know," He took a drink and shrugged, a smile still playing on his lips, "You're not **completely** insufferable."

"Well, that's comforting to know," Alorest responded sarcastically, lightly sipping at his own beer, "Makes hunting down these demons even easier, if you can stand me for more than two seconds."

Sam's smile faded a little, "To be honest, it helps a little that you actually act like him sometimes."

Alorest stilled, eyes moving down to his beer, thumb wiping at some of the perspiration on the glass, "It makes sense, I guess. I **was** him. Being around you sort of... Brings me back into it."

"If you were him at one time," Sam pushed himself off the fridge and walked closer, "Then I'd like to think you still are, just a little more rough around the edges."

The demon considered that, he didn't like to think that way though, he didn't _feel_ like Dean. Dean couldn't have become this creature, not **all** of Dean. "You're persistent."

"I have to be," Sam squeezed the demon's shoulder and grinned.

Alorest stood up, clearing his throat and making his way passed Sam and turning around to look at him, "I might be able to get him back, Sam, but I'm not him. I... I can't be him. I wish I could do that for you, really, I do. But you have to understand, I'm not-"

Sam nodded impassively, "Yeah, I get it," He sat down at the table and watched his bottle as he sat it down, "You keep remindin' me, how could I forget?"

"It's important that you don't forget that," Alorest said, moving to Dean's brother and setting his beer beside the larger man's, "I'm not him, I... I might not ever be him again. Dean was better than me. To even consider that he would-"

"I said I got it," Sam clenched his jaw and looked up at the demon defensively, "I learned how to manage without him for over two years, If I have to, I can do it again." Sam was just lying to himself at this point, he needed to. If he let the realization hit him that Dean was **never** coming back, he'd break in every way possible.

Alorest moved in close, staring Sam in the eyes, "I wanna be him, for you, I do. I'm sorry, but I can't. You say you got it, but do you really? I don't think you do. You need to be honest with me, an' you need to be honest with yourself, Sam. I'm not Dean."

Sam gritted his teeth, "Then maybe you should have chosen a different body and not _his_ ," He pushed away from the table angrily, trying to put distance between them.

"You don't know what it's like," Alorest said, grabbing the larger man's forearm and staring at him still, eyes stone cold and desperate, "You don't know what _**any** _ of it's like, so it's probably impossible to get you to understan'. Takin' any other body would'a been like drivin' somethin' other than the Impala, or usin' some one else's guns. I saw him an' I just-"

"What?" Sam grimaced, "Saw him and thought it would be fun to toy with his younger brother's emotions?" Sam got in his face, his words were low and gravelly, "If you don't want me to think that you're _Dean_ ," He shoved his index finger roughly into the demon's chest, "Then stop talkin' and actin' like him. You're not exactly makin' this easy for me."

The demon didn't bristle, or even flinch, when Sam came in at him, he stared into the taller man's angry eyes, feeling the finger press against his shirt, "I haven't been in this body in nearly two hundred an' fifty years. I've been in Hell, Sam, fightin' to get up here, to fix things, to protect you. I didn't take it because I wanted to hurt you. I took him up because I missed him, because I want this, because I need somethin' up here, somethin' that's mine."

"And it never occurred to you that maybe I missed him to?" Sam stared at the other man incredulously, "That teasing me with this," He grabbed the demon's biceps and squeezed, "It's not fair and it fuckin' hurts like hell, to have him, but not **really** have him back."

"If I didn't come back as him, you don't think Azazel _would've_?" Alorest winced at the name, feeling that odd prickle of pain again in his chest and he reached up to claw lightly at his shirt.

"Everything hurts at this point, so it doesn't matter," Sam's anger faded and he let go of the shorter man.

"Yeah, you're not kiddin'," The demon pulled back, brows narrowing. " _Azazel_ ," He tried and winced again, this time the pain was sharper and his hand clutched the fabric over his heart.

Sam perked up slightly, curious, "What's wrong?" It wasn't the first time he noticed the demon clutching or scratching at the same area.

"I don't know," Alorest looked up at Sam, clearly confused and pained as he started to scratch over the cotton, "It just hurts when I say Azazel's- _ah_ ," He gasped, nearly choking as the sting spread, causing a dull, bruising ache in his shoulder.

"Here, just let me look," Sam stepped closer, cautiously lifting the hem of the demon's shirt, "You mind?"

Alorest put his arms out and up, brows tight in pain as he tried to will it back, "No, go ahead."

Sam lifted the shirt off of him, his knuckles accidentally brushed the skin along the demon's ribs. He instinctively ran the tips of his fingers across the broken skin, "That doesn't look so good."

Alorest's eyes flickered at the soft, careful caress and he looked down to the heated, pulsing skin, the scar where he'd remembered Azazel stabbing him back in Hell. His own fingers moved, touching the spot where the scar tore into Dean's protection symbol tattoo. "Hmm," His brows rose curiously.

"That explains how you got into his body," Sam mused, still mindlessly tracing his fingers along the scar like it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen.

"Yeah, I didn't even think about it," The demon said, voice low as he pressed into the scar curiously, "I think this is from A-... From _him_." Alorest corrected, avoiding the name.

"Does it hurt all the time?" Sam questioned, finally removing his hand from the scar.

"No," The demon answered at once, "I didn't even notice it until I'd said his _name_ these passed few times. Then it kicks like a truck. I can still feel it; even in my shoulder."

"Is it like a muscle ache or-what?" Sam reached back out and squeezed the other man's shoulder experimentally, "And does it hurt if other people say his name? Or just you?"

Alorest shook his head, "I'm not sure. It doesn't hurt when you press on it, it just **hurts**. I'm not sure about others saying it, care to...?"

Sam left his hand on the shoulder and looked into the familiar eyes before him, " _Azazel_."

The demon felt it at once, twisting that spot in his chest like a rusted dagger and it nearly floored him coming from **Sam** instead of _himself_. As it was, his knees trembled and his vision blurred, the ache in his shoulder becoming _more_.

"Hey, hey," Sam threaded one arm around Alorest's back and watched the demon's pained facial expression carefully, "You okay?"

"No," Alorest responded between his teeth, one hand reaching up to touch his temple as he closed his eyes, "It's gettin' worse."

"C'mon," Sam guided him a few feet to the edge of the bed and sat him down, kneeling as he looked up at the demon. "I shouldn't have said it," Sam reached up and placed his hand gently over the scar.

"This must've been a part of the ritual that he didn't tell me about," Alorest hissed, eyebrows relaxing slightly at Sam's touch, "I knew there was more to it, but I didn't care. They wouldn't've told me anyways."

Sam thumbed the sensitive skin next to the scar, "How about we avoid saying his name from now on?" He smiled softly and dropped his hand to the demon's knee.

Alorest eased back, one hand moving behind him to still himself, resting on the covers of the bed, "Yeah, fuck, I can still feel it," and he reached up again, rubbing his shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he felt real, **real** pain; pain that wasn't emotional or mental, it'd been a while.

"Anything make it feel better at all?" Sam felt like there was a weight sitting in the pit of his stomach, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander along the skin in front of him. There were always unresolved feelings Sam had towards Dean even **before** he died, the younger Winchester had never done anything about it though; he couldn't bring himself to.

"I dunno, I... I've never really hurt like this before," Alorest said, chuckling helplessly, "I know pains, I mean... I'm **_painfully_ ** familiar with them, but not this. This is new for me."

Sam gripped Alorest's knee before he stood up, he knew that he was probably blushing a little, but he couldn't help it, "Well, If you need anything, just let me know."

The demon's eyes followed Sam curiously, watching the shade of red on the younger Winchester's cheeks, _was he angry?_

"Yeah, sure. I'll do that."

Sam nodded as he turned to go get his beer off the table, needed to be looking at something other than the demon. He felt guilty for wanting it and wanting it more because he knew Dean wasn't in there, thought that maybe since he wasn't in there that things would be more accessible.

 _It's not something Dean would have wanted_ , he reminded himself; which only made Sam feel like more of a freak on top of the demon blood.

Alorest pawed the scar and swallowed painfully, dropping his other arm and allowing himself to fall back, lay on the bed completely, and stare at the ceiling. He couldn't feel exhausted or tired but, whatever the case, he felt _worn_ through. He'd been moving at a constant pace for so long, he almost felt like he'd sink into the mattress if he stopped for long enough.

Seeing the demon in his brother's body laid out in front of him wasn't helping matters any, but Sam tried to look anywhere except the bed. He looked at the ugly floral pattern on the wall, "So what do we do now?"

"I don't know, a case or something?" Alorest said, voice coming from his throat instead of his chest, since he was laying down, "There's no point in hunting them down, we should continue as normal, I think."

He turned his attention to the lamp on the nightstand, his stomach churning at the demon's voice, "Yeah, sounds good." This was going to be harder than he thought, especially when all he wanted to do was look at him.

Alorest sat up finally, reaching out and grabbing his shirt, "What say, we pack up here and move out, find another town, get a good look around, unless... You got some unsolved cases you been holding onto?"

"Only one, but it's best if we leave that one alone," Sam said, not meaning a hunting case, his face went solemn.

"Why?" The demon asked, raising a brow curiously.

"Some things are better left unresolved," Sam shrugged, still avoiding eye contact.

Alorest nodded slowly, Sam still didn't trust him; **still**. _Humans_. He shrugged, standing up and pulling the shirt on, "Alright, well let's pack it up then."

"Everything I own is in a duffel-bag," Sam chuckled, "Shouldn't be too hard."

"And I don't own anything except this body, perfect," Alorest grabbed the second over-shirt, pulling it on and observing Dean's old jacket.

"It is," Sam muttered under his breath as he pulled his shirt back on, sat down and shuffled into his boots.

The demon shrugged, folding up the jacket and setting it in his lap as he waited for the younger Winchester. He couldn't explain it, but the jacket didn't feel _right_ , and he didn't want to wear it.

Sam stood, grabbed his duffel-bag and his coat as Alorest followed, coat in arm, walking out of the door and climbing into the passenger's side of the Impala without further question.

The younger Winchester started the engine and drove them both out of town without so much as saying a single word. He felt tense, nervous almost and that was ridiculous. He'd steal a glance every once in a while, only to shyly avert his gaze back to the road.

The demon sat in his seat, same as before, still, staring ahead with wide, unblinking eyes. Sitting in the Impala always felt so weird to him, he wasn't sure what it was, but it was something. He reached out himself this time, turning the music on, but not too loud, feeling the comfort of classic rock lyrics taking over so much in his mind that he didn't have to think of anything else for now. Some times, you had to appreciate the little things.


	5. Chapter 3

It was almost dawn and to be honest, Sam was tired, but his hunger out weighted that by a ton. He pulled over and parked in front of a diner, only one or two other cars parked near by, “I’m starvin’. You eat anything other than demon’s?” Sam chuckled lowly, those being his first words since they’d left the hotel.

Alorest turned, peering out at the diner and shrugging, “I can, but I don’t need to, no. It might look weird if I don’t, though.”

“Good,” Sam patted him on the thigh mindlessly, “You can fake it,” He grinned before sliding out of the car.

The demon climbed out of his seat, following after Sam as he left the jacket in the Impala, putting his hands in his pockets as he walked.

Sam nodded to the waitress as they both entered, sliding into opposite sides of a booth. As chilly as it was outside, Sam couldn’t figure out why the demon wasn’t wearing his coat. Sam leaned in a little, “Aren’t you cold, man?”

Alorest shook his head, “No, should I be?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said in a harsh whisper, “Do demon’s not feel aything?”

“I felt that pain in my chest,” Alorest chuckled, “I haven’t really felt anything else though, like when you stabbed me, so I guess not.”

“Yeah, about that,” Sam leaned back and felt guilty remembering it, “Sorry.”

The demon shrugged and looked away, “It’s nothing, no harm, no foul.”

The waitress finally came over, her skirt a little too short and you could hear the flirting in her voice as she asked them what she could get for them. “I’ll just take your breakfast platter, extra bacon and a glass of ice water, please,” Sam didn’t look at the waitress, he looked at Alorest and waited for him to order.

“Uh,” Alorest pursed his lips, “I’ll… Have the same thing,” He said, still looking out the window.

She smiled and walked back to the kitchen, informing them it’d be about twenty minutes.

Sam fidgeted with the silverware on the table and was watching the demon carefully, snapping his fingers in front of the other man’s face, “You good?”

“Probably not,” Alorest responded, smiling at the comment, “I was just thinking that we should look into whatever this is,” He said, running his hand over his heart, “It’s not good, and we should know everything we can, but I don’t know where to start.”

“I’d call Bobby, but he probably wouldn’t be too happy you took up residence in Dean’s body,” Sam mused, “And stop being so grim, it’ll be fine.”

“Does he have to know it’s not me?” Alorest asked curiously, “I mean, he doesn’t have to know, I could… Fake it or… Something.”

“Do you really think you could make it convincing?” Sam didn’t look so sure, “Besides, Bobby’s not dumb. He’d probably splash you with holy water or something.”

“I doubt holy water would work on me,” The demon argued back, “And you said I remind you of Dean some times, maybe he doesn’t need to see me too much, he’s probably our best bet.”

“I’ll be honest with you, I don’t like the idea,” Sam stared at the table and fiddled with his fingers, “And I said **sometimes** , which means you’ll have to kick it up a notch.”

Alorest narrowed his brows, “Well, I haven’t really been trying, maybe if I actually put some effort into it, I might seem more… More like Dean.”

“Hope you can pull it off,” Sam shrugged as he noticed the waitress bringing their food, “And if I were you, I’d get started, so you’re more familiar with it by the time we get to Bobby’s.”

The demon turned, throwing the waitress a suggestive wink as he smirked, “Thank you,” He said in a softer tone.

Sam almost choked on his own spit, “Nice,” Sam offered after the waitress left.

“That was good?” Alorest asked, turning back and looking at the younger Winchester.

“Actin’ like a creep, yeah,” Sam took a drink of his water and let his smile reach his eyes, “Somethin’ Dean would do.”

The demon grinned and looked down at the food in front of him and taking up the water, sipping at it idly for a moment before he grabbed his silverware.

Sam shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth and watched the demon humorously, “This should be funny.”

Alorest copied Sam, trying the egg before he began eating it with the bacon, slowly clearing through the food on his plate out of reflex. He tasted it, but it wasn’t entirely pleasing to him.

Sam gestured to the display, “Do demon’s even enjoy food? Or rather anything humans find pleasant?”

“So far it all doesn’t really taste good,” Alorest tried to explain, “I can’t smell it much, either. It just smells like… Sort of stale? I don’t know. It’s not like, mouth-watering, like I was expecting.”

“So what then, are all of your senses dulled?” Sam smirked then mentally kicked himself.

“No, I can smell fine, but I guess my mind’s not wired that way,” Alorest mused aloud, “It doesn’t smell amazing to me because it’s not _my kind of food_.”

“Right,” Sam chewed, “Not _demon flavored_.”

Alorest chuckled, “Yeah, not so much. It’s okay, I guess. I mean, I remember eating it before, so I guess I have that memory to work with, makes it easier to swallow.”

Sam needed air, the demon talking about swallowing made Sam’s jeans feel too small. He looked down and stammered, “O-okay.”

“Weird?” Alorest asked, raising a clueless brow.

“No,” Sam shifted in his seat, “I mean, it makes sense.” At this point Sam was willing his mouth to form words to keep his thoughts from something else entirely.

Alorest nodded, finishing his food quickly, nearly shoveling it in by the end to try and avoid the taste as much as he could.

Sam put his fork on his plate and washed it down with a drink of water, “You ‘bout ready to go?”

“Yes,” The demon answered, nearly sick of the food at that point, face looking sour as he chugged his own glass, ice and all.

“Alright,” Sam looked over at the waitress and gestured to their table and lip-synced, “Check, please.” When she brought it over she slid it to the demon, her number obviously written on the back, she winked and went back to the kitchen.

Alorest watched her leave, mouth open slightly in confusion before he looked down at the check, then to Sam, “Right…” He said, sliding it over to the taller man.

Sam shrugged, “Demon’s don’t like to have _fun_ either?” He slid out of the booth and grabbed the check.

“That’s ‘fun’?” Alorest rolled his eyes, “I’ve seen better thighs on demons that don’t have legs.”

Sam grinned and headed towards the register, “She’ll be disappointed when you don’t call.”

“I won’t,” Alorest responded, standing up and following after Sam, avoiding the woman’s eyes as she looked back at him. Dean may have been into that act, the use of women, the dulling of his own needs, but Alorest wasn’t; and he wasn’t going to start here.

Sam paid quickly so they could get out of there. Once they were back in the Impala, Sam was too curious for his own good, “So do demons even, ya know…” He glanced down at the demon’s hips.

Alorest frowned at the question, “Do they what?”

Sam laid his forehead on the steering wheel and sighed, “Sex. Do demon’s have sex?” He could tell that he had gone too long without it, slowly but surely it was clouding his every thought.

The demon shrugged, “Well, yeah. Demons have sex, have kids, get horny; just like the rest of things in existence. You should **see** some of the things I’ve seen done to humans in Hell.” He looked away, avoiding the topic of himself, “Yeah, they have sex.”

Sam was pretty sure his mouth was hanging open, he was expecting the demon to say no, “Then why did you turn _her_ down?” Sam looked at the diner, “I think Dean would be pissed if he knew you weren’t taking the opportunity.” Thinking of it sent a wave of jealousy through Sam unexpectedly.

“No, he wouldn’t have,” Alorest responded, he didn’t care if Sam knew, it wasn’t **his** secret, it was Dean’s, “I turned her down because I’m not interested, and neither was he. It’s just stupid to pretend to be that way.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sam half turned in his seat to look at him, “She was exactly his type, what the hell are you talking about?”

The demon shrugged, “No woman is Dean’s **type** ,” He tried to explain, “He just pretends like they are, to dull the ache, to _escape_. I don’t need to do either of those. And I’m not going to just fuck any woman to prove that I’m a man.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re talkin’ about,” Sam was serious now, because what the demon was saying was touchy territory, “I know you’re not telling me that my brother is gay, because I’ve been around him my **whole** life and I’d like to think that he’d at least tell me that.”

Alorest chuckled, “Oh yeah?” He turned to Sam completely now, “Well, I **was** him. I **know** him. An’ I didn’t say he was gay; I didn’t say that. I said he slept with women to prove he was a man. Half’a the time, Dean didn’t know _what_ he was, all he could really go by was feelin’ an’ instinct. An’ those two fought inside of him constantly, ‘cause of the way he felt for you. It killed him. It practically killed him each day of his life.”

Sam felt his throat dry out and for a split second he was afraid of the demon, “What do I have to do with any of it? He looked after me, his younger _brother_.” Sam turned away and stared blankly at the dashboard, “It doesn’t make sense, braggin’ about gettin’ lucky was all he ever did.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t know,” The demon stared at Sam, brows narrowing, “You’re too smart to **not** know.”

“Listen,” Sam looked at the demon, his eyes watery and wide, “I know how _I_ feel, but don’t you fuckin’ tell me that he felt the same way, especially when he’s not here to back it up. I’m supposed to just take your word for it? He wasn’t afraid of anything, he would’ve said something.” Sam was shaking, his hands were balled so tight his knuckles were turning white.

“Why would I lie?” Alorest raised his brows, watching Sam’s reaction curiously. He looked pissed, furious, almost terrified, “Look into my eyes an’ tell me I don’t mean it. I do, you know it. An’ if you think you can use an excuse like ‘Dean’s not afraid of anythin”, you’re lyin’. He was afraid of losin’ you, he was afraid **of** you, he was afraid of losin’ **himself** , for you, not for himself. You should know him well enough to know that.”

Sam looked into the beautiful green orbs and saw nothing but Dean, a few tears slid down his face, “ _ **You** wouldn’t have lost me_ ,” He turned and started the engine. He hoped that what he said got through somehow, prayed that if Dean was in there somewhere that he heard him.

The demon felt the words, more than anything, and his body stilled, head tilting as he began to consider how **really** foolish Dean had been. How the older Winchester had worried and worried, and been terrified night after night, afraid of himself, afraid of his _feelings_. And for what? _All for nothing in the end. Sam actually felt the same way._ Alorest’s chest ached with the cruel irony of it, he felt the loss like his own, and it kind of was; he’d been Dean. He’d had those feelings. **He’d** been foolish.

* * *

Alorest took the seat on the corner of the old motel bed, removing his shoes one after the other, carefully setting them side by side in the silence of the room. The rest of the ride had been so still and quiet that he’d actually almost gotten bored. He’d been stuck in his head so much, with Sam’s admittance, that he was surprised the younger Winchester was still _there_ when he came to.

Sam didn’t know what to feel, he was angry at Dean mostly, for not saying anything. He hurt though, it hurt to know that it was too late for anything to be done about it. Sam hadn’t said anything else to the demon since before they left the diner parking lot and he didn’t plan on starting now, it’d be too much for him to handle. He went straight for the bed, left his shoes on and plopped down, trying hard to drown out everything.

“Sam,” Alorest started, voice soft in the silence of the room.

“Please don’t,” Sam put both of his hands on his face and sighed, he just wanted to pretend everything had been a bad dream.

“I was just wondering if you were _thirsty_ ,” The demon offered.

“Yeah,” Sam propped himself up and actually **looked** at the demon for the first time since the diner, “I think I am.”

Alorest nodded, “You probably know better than I do, how often you get hungry, but I… Figured it’d been a while.”

Sam got up as easy as he laid down and slid his coat back on, “Bar down the street, who know’s,” Sam picked his wallet and keys up off the nightstand, still stoic, “Maybe we’ll find some demons for you to gobble up while we’re out.”

“I didn’t mean that kind of thirsty, Sammy,” Alorest said, smiling and licking his lips.

“Right,” Sam jerked his coat off and threw it on his bed, “Cause you need me _big and strong_.” Sam stood still, the sarcasm in his voice not even displayed on the outside.

The demon turned his face to the side, eyes on Sam, “Well, if you want a beer, we can do that too, you’re choice.”

“Both sound good to me,” Sam shrugged, looking at his coat like it was his enemy, “I’d personally like to relax a little.”

Alorest nodded, even if he didn’t understand quite what Sam was talking about, “So, which first?”

“Bar,” Sam put his hands in his pockets and nodded towards the door, “C’mon.”

Alorest stood and followed once he’d replaced his boots, joining the larger man.

Sam made sure he walked ahead of the demon, so he wouldn’t have to look at him at least until they arrived at the bar. He hadn’t even bothered putting his coat back on, didn’t care if he got sick or not. Sam could hear the music coming from the bar before he could see it as he rounded the last corner.

Alorest kept his eyes still on the younger Winchester’s shoulders, feeling out for any form of threat around them, but he couldn’t pick up anything worth noting. He had this pull inside of him, something that reminded him of Dean, wanting to reach out and touch Sam, touch a part of him, even his sleeve; just in case.

Sam walked into the bar, not bothering to look back to see if the demon was there. He stepped up to it and ordered a round of shots to start, returning the smile when the bartender smiled warmly at Sam.

Alorest joined him, taking up the seat by the younger Winchester and ordering whatever was on tap. He glanced around a few times and nodded, considering the crowd in the room and the two exits he spotted in the quick observance.

When the bartender sat the shots down, Sam’s fingers brushed his when he went to pick the shot up. He wasn’t normally Sam’s type, but Sam needed to blow off some steam. The last day had pretty much drained him, mainly just emotionally though, “Thanks,” Sam smiled, flashing his dimples.

The demon looked over, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck bristle lightly but he ignored them, taking up the mug he was given and downing it at once, “Refill?”

Sam looked at the demon to his side, “Moderation, man,” Sam clapped him on the back.

“Not for me, I can handle it,” Alorest chuckled and shrugged, downing the second and motioning for a third.

Sam had barely finished his second shot when Alorest started on his third draft, he shook his head, “ _Demon’s_.”

Sam wasn’t drunk yet, just had a little buzz going. It almost took him by surprise when the bartender leaned over the counter and whispered in his ear, “Meet me in the bathroom in ten?” Sam just nodded and smirked at the _too_ tall,  _too_ thin bartender. He wasn’t here to be picky though right?

Alorest’s brows narrowed this time, he looked away, observing a couple near the door that was glancing his way. He’d let Sam do whatever, if that was his thing, it seemed to be humans in general, that needed to lie to themselves to make themselves feel better. It made him sick, but he wouldn’t argue it, Sam was a free man, at the end of the day.

After about ten minutes or so passed, he leaned in close to Alorest, “I’ll be back,” His lips accidentally brushed the demon’s ear before he walked away and headed towards the bathroom.

Alorest nodded, watching the tall man leave before he made his own distance from the bar, taking the couple from the door and leading them out back, around the side of the building to an empty, private area away from crowds before he turned on them, exercised the demons from their bodies and consumed them both.

* * *

When Sam walked into the bathroom, he couldn’t see the bartender anywhere. Just his luck. The door closed loudly behind him, he turned around to find two shorter guys with pitch black eyes.

Before Sam could do anything they had him slung up against the wall. He knew they wouldn’t kill him, they were just seriously going to fuck his night up in order to find Alorest.

Speaking of, where was he when you needed him?

* * *

Alorest rolled his shoulders, moving into the bar once more and frowning when he saw the vacant stool where Sam had sat, he moved quick, passing people to get to the bathrooms and slinging some stupid woman that was in his way, by the back of her collar, as he shoved the door open and raised his arms to the demons holding Sam down.

“You get the fuck away from him,” He ordered, reaching out to them and shoving the lower-lings back against the wall of the bathroom.

Sam dropped to the floor and looked up at Alorest, wiping the blood off his lip before he stood, “Nice of you to show up.” Sam stood up and moved over next to Alorest.

“You okay, Sammy?” Alorest asked, glancing the younger Winchester over.

“I’m fine,” He winced, “Just deal with them so we can get out of here.” Sam had been deflecting with his intentions with the bartender, to keep his mind off of Dean, off of the demon who looked just like him; only served him right to get his ass kicked a little. One thing he noticed, he was weak from having gone so long without _demon blood_.

Alorest turned back, looking at the lower-lings in disgust. They weren’t even as good as the ones he’d **just** consumed out back, these were practically off of his radar, but it was better than nothing; a simple snack. “Regna terrae, cantate Deo. Psallite Domino, qui fertis super caelum,” He said, voice still as he held them back, “caeli ad Orientem. Ecce dabit voci Suae, vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem Deo.”

The smoke billowed out from inside of the human’s bodies, filling the roof of the room and he smiled, making a ‘come hither’ motion with his hand, “Exsisto in mihi,” He ordered.

“Still creepy,” Sam coughed and grabbed his ribs, almost falling over as the alcohol hit him hard.

Alorest moved at once, catching Sam above him and lifting the man before he took them both down from the odd angle he was standing at. “Careful there, big guy,” He said, voice soft and concerned as he held Sam up, “You okay to walk?”

“M’fine,” Sam mumbled as he patted Alorest on the chest, “Can we go?”

“Of course,” The demon said, holding the bathroom door open for the larger man.

Sam stumbled slightly through the door and barely made his way out the front of the bar, he turned around to look at Alorest as he attempted walking without watching where he was going, “I think they knew who I was,” Sam admitted.

Alorest nodded, glancing around and keeping his eye on the path in front of the younger Winchester, “Oh, I’m sure they did. that’s a **good** thing, Sam.”

Sam nodded and then stumbled into a brick wall, he stood there for a minute to steady himself, “Too much to drink.”

“Yeah, genius, you didn’t think that one through well, did you?” The demon reached out, touching Sam’s shoulder and pulling him back up.

Sam grabbed the demon’s bicep in turn, drawing him in as he twisted around and pushed the demon up against the brick wall. He slipped his knife out of his pocket, flipped it open and looked at Alorest, “You trust me, right?”

“Yeah but,” Alorest’s brows narrowed, “Sam, this really isn’t the time, nor the place to be drinking demon blood.”

Sam looked around and found no one, he shrugged and put the point of his blade on Alorest’s neck without applying pressure, “I promise I’ll be quick.”

“You can’t wait for the motel room?” Alorest asked roughly, eyes darkening as he felt the lust pooling inside of him suddenly. To him, it was like Sam was threatening to fuck him out in the open; it was one _**Hell** _ of a thought.

Sam’s face was closer to Alorest’s than it needed to be, but he was still half hard from the thought of possibly getting his dick sucked at the bar; not to mention he may have had one too many shots. Sam glanced at the demon’s lips as he pressed the blade a little into his neck, “ **Please**?”

“Just a sip now, but we really need to get back, Sam,” Alorest whispered, eyes turning black.

Sam’s breathing hitched when they changed, turning him on a little more than it should have. He grinned as he pulled the blade just a little across Alorest’s neck, he flipped his knife shut and put it back into his pocket. He hesitated, but only momentarily before he leaned in and licked the dribble of blood, latching his lips to it gently as he sucked.

Alorest gasped in pleasure, his hand resting on Sam’s hip as he dropped his head back against the wall, “ _Oh_ ,” He breathed out, eyes widening.

Sam drank for only a moment, licked the skin slowly one more time before releasing it and he whispered in Alorest’s ear, “Thanks.” He pressed his hips forward once, into Dean’s body, before he backed away from Alorest; now harder than he was before.

Sam put his hands in his pockets and continued walking like nothing had even happened.

The demon swallowed and stood, glancing down and shifting his pants before following Sam. It was more intense this time than it was before, it was also from his neck, which was probably an addition to the emotions stirred up. Alorest got the body to obey at once though, easing it’s excitement back down.

On the walk back Sam kept looking at the demon, usually unable to stop a smile from spreading on his face. They made it back in one piece though. Sam had stumbled through the door and proceeded to take his shirt off, he unbuttoned his pants and paused to look at Alorest, “It’s hot in here.”

Alorest glanced around the room, he couldn’t tell, honestly, but he did the same, dressing down slightly.

Sam chuckled as he wiggled out of his jeans, stealing a glance at him, “Thought you couldn’t tell if it was hot or cold?”

“I can’t,” The demon responded, “I just figured I’d dress down for… Comfort’s sake? You’re dressed down, it seemed odd. I don’t know.”

Sam looked him over, “Thanks for the show.” He was sure he’d regret drinking so much in the morning, but for now, it felt nice to let loose a little.

Alorest chuckled and sat down on the bed. “You’re welcome,” He said, eyes catching on the necklace resting against Sam’s collar line, the familiar golden color catching his attention. He didn’t mention it to the other man, but he noted it enough, looking away quickly. “Are you still thirsty?”

“Incredibly,” Sam admitted, smiling at him coyly as he bent over and pulled his knife from his jeans that were crumpled at his feet. When he knelt down in front of Alorest, he handed the demon his knife, “Your choice.”

Sam had wondered if drinking from the same place would hurt the demon any, because he definitely had a preference now.

Alorest shrugged, drawing the blade over the spot on his neck and tilting his head slightly, eyes wide and blackening as he licked the sharp metal and closed it back up.

Sam had tried to avoid putting his hands on Alorest’s hips, instead he put them on the bed beside them. He looked down almost shyly and smiled before he leaned in, taking the slightly familiar skin into his mouth. The mixture of both copper and salt on his tongue made him moan, barely even audible to Sam himself.

The demon sat still, breathing calmly as he stared up at the ceiling, his hands holding himself up on the bed as he felt the drawing of blood from inside of him, the lust reigning in. He could suppress it enough, it wasn’t anything serious; _but it felt **good**_.

The blood he drank from when he pressed Alorest up against the wall was kicking in, dizzying Sam with strength and fifty million other emotions and sensations.

Sam couldn’t stop himself from grabbing one side of the demon’s hips, pressing himself firmly between his thighs when he did so. Sam had his fill of blood, so nipping at his neck and tracing patterns beneath the demon’s ear with his tongue was entirely just for pleasure at this point.

Alorest blinked in confusion and surprise, tilting into the touches against his own will, but trying to keep himself in check as his eyes continued to widen.

“Sam,” He breathed out, unsure.

“Problem?” Sam whispered in Alorest’s ear as he took the lobe into his mouth and sucked lightly on it.

The demon shook his head slightly, “Not… Not really,” He said honestly. He didn’t have feelings, particularly, but there were parts inside that actually **did** have a problem with what was happening, Sam was drunk, or, well… Not completely drunk, but he’d been drinking; he was hyped up on demon blood. But it felt good, so who gave a fuck?

“Good,” Sam placed his other hand on Alorest’s hips as well and tugged him closer, forcing his erection against the demon. Sam grazed his teeth along Alorest’s jaw and smiled into the side of his face before kissing the crow’s feet that had worn themselves into his brother’s skin.

Alorest gasped, cheeks flushing slightly at the younger man. His own hand reached up, tentatively taking up Sam’s shoulder within his palm. He still was at a loss for what to do. Everything between him and Sam was very unsteady, should he let this continue, or stop it? Was it too late, if he chose to end it here, hoping things would return to normal? _Whatever **normal** was between them._

Sam leaned his forehead to the side of Alorest’s face and took a heavy breath, lightening his grip, “You’re allowed to touch me, I won’t break.” He could tell the demon was being hesitant, he’d barely even managed to get one hand to Sam’s shoulder.

“I know,” Alorest breathed, closing his eyes, “But I’m not sure if you should be doing this, Sam.” He had to say it, had to at least **try** to stop Sam. If he didn’t, Dean would just eat him up inside.

Sam removed his hands from the demon all together and leaned back on his knees, Alorest’s words sobering him more than he cared for. Sam reached up to his neck and took the necklace between his fingers and frowned, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I mean, I’m okay,” Alorest sat up more, willing his body to calm down, “I don’t want you doing something you’re going to regret later.” He said, eyes following Sam’s hand.

Sam nodded, still frowning, “Yeah, good call,” He dropped Dean’s necklace back down on his chest and pushed himself up.

The demon watched Sam wearily, eyes returning to normal once more.

Sam didn’t look at Alorest as he walked over to his bed and sat down softer than normal, he laid back and put his pillow over his face. He felt horrible, stupid even, for trying anything with him at all. It wouldn’t mean _anything_ to Sam if it wasn’t Dean anyway, so what was the point in trying?

Alorest smoothed his hand over the blood smeared on his neck and stood, pulling back on his shirt and pants, “I think I’m gonna do a sweep of the area.”

“Good idea,” Sam mumbled into the pillow, already feeling what was left of the alcohol in his system pull him under. If he was lucky, maybe he wouldn’t remember anything come tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 4

It was a throbbing pain between his brows and right behind his eyes that woke Sam up, making him groan in protest. Unfortunately, he hadn't drank enough last night to completely forget what had happened, but in order to keep things from falling apart before they got to Lilith, he was going to pretend he didn't remember a damn thing.

He propped himself up slightly and grimaced as he looked around the room, everything a little too bright and, even though it was silent, it was **still** too loud for Sam.

Alorest sat in the corner of the room at a table, eyes set outside the window as he watched the streets, light pooling over the asphalt as morning came in. In his hand, clutched tight, was Dean's revolver and he moved slightly, looking back to the younger Winchester.

Sam leaned up slowly and pawed at his eyes before he bent over and grabbed his pants, to pull them on, "I still think it's really weird that you don't sleep."

Alorest raised his brows, watching Sam silently before he pondered aloud, "I can't remember the last time that was, even. Up on Earth, I think. I don't think Dean slept below..."

Sam raised a hand to stop the demon from saying anything else, and put the other over his face, "Okay, just don't yell." He slid his shirt on, sauntered over to his duffel-bag, and rummaged through it for aspirin.

Alorest chuckled, "You shouldn't have drank so much. Hey, Sam, you know what would be great now? A nice greasy chicken thigh caked in gravy-"

Sam turned and glared at Alorest before he grabbed his mouth and ran to the bathroom. In between heaves, he muttered, "Fuckin' jerk." He really shouldn't have drank **quite** so much though, not with everything else that had been going on.

"Bitch," Alorest responded in kind, smirking and standing up, walking into the kitchen and starting a small pot of coffee. He filled a glass of water and brought it to Sam's side, the larger man curled around the toilet bowl.

"Here," The demon whispered softly, holding the drink out to him.

Sam looked up at him and smiled dimly as he took the cup of water, "Thanks, man." Looking up at him and remembering the previous nights activities made Sam's stomach churn again, but not necessarily in a bad way; those green eyes got him every time.

The demon nodded silently and grabbed the washcloth from the counter, handing it over as well, before he returned to the kitchen to get Sam a mug of coffee.

Sam took a sip of the water before he wiped his face off and stood, brushing his teeth before he left the bathroom. He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms as he watched the demon by the coffee pot, "You don't have to take care of me just because I can't handle my alcohol."

"No, I don't," Alorest confirmed, smiling slightly as he turned and handed Sam a mug, "Careful, it's probably hot." It wasn't a sarcastic remark, but it came out that way.

Sam took the mug and stared for a few seconds longer, snapping himself out of it to take a sip. He was about to ask Alorest if he'd found anything when he left last night, but in order to play stupid he went with, "So what'd you do all night anyway? And when did we get back here?" Sam gestured to the room.

Alorest turned completely to face Sam, setting his hands back on the counter behind himself, "I brought you back after you got smashed and, the moment you passed out, I went on a sweep run."

"Did you find anything?" Sam sipped idly on his coffee and returned Alorest's gaze.

"A few big demons," Alorest explained, eyes becoming somewhat distant, "Nothing major, though. Lilith knows we're here. I couldn't get anything about Az-..." The demon stopped, but it was enough out to cause a hum of pain in his chest, " _Yeah_."

"How long do you think it'll be before she finds us?" Sam asked, his eyes lingered on Alorest's chest.

The demon shook his head, "I think she already knows **exactly** where we're at, it's just a matter of what time is most convenient for _her_ to come and pay us a visit. That's why I was here when you woke. I've been watching out. There've been a few demons around, stirring outside. I've lost count of how many I've eaten already."

"If she has her stooges watching us, then it'll be soon, I don't know if I'm ready," Sam admitted, a little nervous.

"It's your choice then," Alorest observed the younger Winchester, "Do we wanna move? Because if we wanna avoid her, it should happen maybe... Three hours ago."

"Well, I mean, look at me," Sam gestured to himself and huffed, "Do **you** really think I'm ready for this?"

The demon shrugged, "I don't know, _are you_?"

"I'm hung over and could use a refill on..." Sam waved his hand at Alorest, "Other things. Like I said, I don't know if I'm ready."

"Then we should probably move out," Alorest said, straightening up and walking from the kitchen, "Won't take but two seconds, right?"

"Right," Sam moved quicker than he should've to slide his boots on, he grabbed his coat and his duffel-bag and nodded towards the door, "I'm good to go."

* * *

"It was you," Alorest said as he slid down into the booth, straightening the front of his shirt and picking up the menu, "You, broadcasting yourself in the bar, that's what got us a red flag. Taking out the four demons stationed there must've reached someone."

"What do you mean, **broadcasting** myself?" Sam glared at Alorest as he took the seat opposite of him, "Excuse me for wanting a beer."

"We're going to have to be more careful," Alorest said, side-stepping the question, "if going out for a _beer_ at a highly populated bar risks the chance of her finding us."

"Gotcha, no fun until everyone is dead," Sam leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose, a light throb still behind his eyes.

"If _that's_ what you consider fun," Alorest narrowed his brows, keeping his eyes on the menu before him, "You and Dean both..."

"What exactly suffices as **fun** for a demon then?" Sam snapped, "I'm not a killing machine like you, I'm human, I have needs."

Alorest glared over the menu, "You're saying that fun is... What? Drinking until you can't see straight, having sex with someone you won't remember the name of, and waking up with a hang over the size of Texas?"

"Sounds like fun to me.... And besides, I didn't have sex," Sam looked everywhere in the room aside from at Alorest, "You didn't answer my question."

"What was your question?" The demon asked, smirking out of Sam's sight.

"If sex, alcohol and hangovers aren't exactly your idea of fun," Sam shrugged and glanced at Alorest, "Then what **is**?"

Alorest shrugged, "Sex is fine, but it doesn't mean anything to me if it's not with someone that matters. If I won't remember her name, I might as well take her out while I'm at it. Other than that... Killing, I guess. That's about it."

Sam leaned over the table and raised his brows, "Are you trying to make me feel guilty about the bartender?" If he was, it was working.

Alorest put the menu down finally and glared at Sam, "I don't get you and him, you spend so much time with other people, other people that don't even matter. You could've shared that together. It probably would've been less of a problem, considering enough of your trials stemmed from sleeping with stupid women."

"Too bad both of us were too stupid to say something then, huh?" Sam sat back, looking at the table bitterly. Sam knew the demon was right, all he ever did was deflect what he really wanted by sleeping with other people.

"Yes, too bad," Alorest confirmed, "He's just as much to blame as you are, though. If not more, considering the fact that he didn't make it easy to talk about things. I didn't make it easy," the demon corrected finally, motioning to himself, "That's my fault, too."

"Well I'm not going to abstain from things I enjoy just because what might of been," Sam lied, he would wait as long as it took, "I mean, he's not coming back, right? So what's the point?"

Alorest felt the pang of the words hit home and he turned away, setting his jaw and closing his eyes. He wasn't going to try and explain it anymore to Sam, the human was fucking blind, considering whatever there was of Dean was sitting _right in front_ of him. He wouldn't bother trying to admit that Sam's need to sleep with unnamed women had bothered him because, deep down, he **was** Dean. He had feelings for the younger Winchester, he didn't want to see the taller man sleeping around like that. While Dean could've found ' _pride_ ' in it, Alorest couldn't. All he saw was betrayal. But he couldn't say that.  
  
Sam nodded absently, "Exactly." Sam understood that even if Alorest found Dean, it would never be **all** of him, not completely. It's not like he _wanted_ to sleep around, in fact, last night Sam had done what he did to test the demon; see if he'd get jealous at all. It didn't work though, so it didn't matter.

"Just because he's gone doesn't mean you should throw you're life away, Dean wouldn't want that," Alorest said, voice low and serious, "I don't want that."

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" Sam sighed and slumped his shoulders, "Pine after the only person I ever really loved even though they're gone?"

"I didn't say that, I..." The demon swallowed, pursing his lips, "I'm doin' all I can, Sam. I'm tryin', okay? I just... I can't have you actin' like an idiot, messin' around an'... I can't. Not while I'm tryin' to get him back."

Sam thumbed the necklace under his shirt absentmindedly, "Alright," He nodded gently, giving in, "Best behavior from now on."

Alorest watched him before turning to the waitress that had finally walked up. He didn't bother giving her the patented Dean Winchester look, just turned away again and motioned to Sam, "I'm not hungry."

"Just a salad and a water, please," Sam didn't even smile at the waitress after she took his order, admittedly, Sam was no longer that hungry either.

The demon took a heavy breath out of habit, watching the sun rise up through the clouds as he drummed out a soft, slow rhythm on the table top with his thumbs, letting the otherwise awkward silence settle in between them.

Sam watched Alorest and had noted a few of Dean's habits bleeding through over time; the way he talked sometimes, the fact that Alorest called him Sammy and now he was drumming on the table like Dean used to do with just about any surface available. Even though it almost hurt to watch it, Sam couldn't help but smile when he remembered how Dean used to drum on the steering wheel and smile over at Sam while they were driving down the road. It was bittersweet, but he'd take what he could get.

Alorest had practically had the song stuck in his head from after they'd left the bar, he couldn't get it out and he couldn't guess why it was stuck in there to begin with, but it was gnawing at him. His lips had started moving, mouthing the words, a few of them slipping out loud as his head started moving with the thrumming.

Sam chuckled softly, smiling so big his dimples almost took over his whole face, "What the hell are you doin'?"

"I can't get this song outta my head," Alorest admitted, eyes lighting up as he smiled in turn, "I'm not sure where I heard it, but it's stuck up in there _good_."

"Pretty sure you have it on cassette in the car," Sam nodded towards the window as the waitress brought his salad over and sat it in front of him.

"I hope so," The demon rubbed his forehead, "So, are we going to Bobby's or... Or what?"

"It's not too far from here," Sam speared his first bite of salad, "We can head that way when we leave."

Alorest watched Sam as he ate, his own stomach not really bothering him with hunger, but he had that urge to eat, the feeling like he **should** be eating. He knew it'd taste awful, but the Dean parts of him were missing it.

"You sure you're not hungry, man?" Sam was finishing up his last few bites of the salad, "You could order a piece of pie or something, _your favorite_."

The demon's mouth watered at the word ' _pie_ ', eyes widening slightly as he remembered that taste in particular, "I'd probably kill for an apple pie," He admitted before he could stop himself.

Sam waved his hand at the waitress to get her over to the table, her eyes sparkled as she walked up, "If it's not too much trouble, could we get my brother here a piece of your apple pie," Sam nodded at Alorest and smiled back at her. She nodded and walked back behind the counter to fill the order.

Alorest watched the woman eagerly until she returned and set the plate before him. He picked up his fork, scooping up a bite's worth and putting it into his mouth, chewing slowly and considering it in silence.

It seemed almost juvenile, but Sam had his finger's crossed underneath the table, "As good as you remember?"

"It's good, yeah," The demon responded finally, taking up another bite and closing his eyes. It was, though; unlike the food before, this actually _was_ good, it made him want to continue eating it, instead of forcing it down before he gagged.

"Really?" Sam questioned, almost surprised as he watched Alorest eat.

"Well, it tastes just like I remember it," Alorest explained, polishing off the pie and pushing the plate away, "I don't know how to explain it. But it's almost _better_."

"Good," Sam was playing with the keys to the Impala in his pocket, "Hey, you remember where Bobby lives right?"

Alorest frowned, brows notching together, "Yeah, of course I do, why?"

Sam pulled the keys out and slid them across the table, "Figured you could drive, might not believe it's you if we pull up and I'm behind the wheel." That was partially the truth, the other part was that Sam was hoping maybe something as familiar as driving his car would help bring Dean back a little more.

The demon's eyes lit up, "I can drive?" He asked, unable to hold back the clear excitement on his face.

"It's **your** car, not mine," Sam couldn't help but smile when Alorest reacted better than he'd imagined.

The demon took the keys and smirked, licking his lips, "You about ready?"

"Yeah, let's go," Sam nodded to the door, almost eager to see how he'd react once he was actually behind the wheel if just the thought of driving the car had him so excited.

Alorest pulled the wallet from his pocket and put a twenty on the table before standing up and heading from the diner, opening the driver's side door of the Impala and sliding into her. He felt comfortable at once, hands resting on the steering wheel a moment before starting her up.

Sam followed and slid into the Impala beside him, hooking his arm behind the seat as he smiled at Alorest, "Feel good?"

"Like a dream," The demon said, running his palms over her as he pulled out of the diner and sped off. He reached down, fishing through the box of cassettes and pulling out one of Dean's mix-tapes, the one where he'd misspelled 'Company' at age thirteen. He popped it in and rewound the tape, playing the first song and grinning when the familiar twang of 'Feel Like Makin' Love' started up.

* * *

They were literally about five miles from Bobby's and Sam had a feeling that Alorest wasn't going to pull it off, that Bobby would just **know** somehow that it wasn't completely Dean. Sam shifted in the seat to look at Alorest, "You sure you can do this?" He'd seen the demon be pretty convincing before, but he needed to be sure.

Alorest turned, side glancing at Sam and shrugging, "Yeah, sure. I mean, I know how Dean acted, right? Should be fine."

"You're really gonna have to sell it, Bobby is observant and he'll notice if even **one** thing is off," Sam was almost panicking at this point, because he realized that Alorest wasn't going to be the only one who had to act a little.

"Yeah, I know," The demon rolled his eyes, "I know Bobby, even if we manage to convince him, he's bound to run me through a few good tests before **actually** believin' anythin'. I know, Sam."

"Let's just hope the holy water doesn't do anything to you, 'cause I don't think he'd be quite as understanding about this whole situation as I am," Sam ran his hands through his hair and let out a heavy breath.

"Oh no, definitely not," Alorest responded, brows narrowing, "And holy water will be fine, it's no problem."

"I'm glad you're so sure," Sam snickered as he noticed the sign that read 'Singer Auto Salvage'.

Alorest turned, glaring at Sam as he was eventually pulling up to Bobby's house, "I'm not, at all. I'm worried. But we have no choice. And... He's gonna find out I've risen sooner or later, it should probably be **us** tellin' him."

"Right," Sam pressed his head back to the seat and closed his eyes for a second, "Just put on a good show."

The demon nodded, putting the car in park and climbing out of her, licking his lips as he shut the door and started up toward the house, nervous fists at his sides.

Sam got out as well and shot him a weary look as they walked to the front door, "Just relax," He nudged him in the ribs.

"Is that possible?" Alorest gave Sam a nasty look, "You think _Dean_ would be completely calm about this?"

"Not completely, but you're tense as hell," Sam squeezed his shoulder to prove his point.

Alorest paused, turning to look at the taller man, clear worry in his eyes, "It's just... I can't help it, I mean... He's like my father, Sam. He... If he sees through this, I don't... I don't know. I don't know if I can take that."

Sam loosened his grip and patted him on the back softly, "Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out," Sam reached out and knocked firmly three times.

Alorest turned, as if he wanted to stop Sam, eyes wide and terrified as his stomach dropped into his knees and they shook with the sudden weight.

Sam made sure he kept his hand on Alorest's back, he needed to. He let his gaze drift from the man beside him to the opening door in front of them and he swallowed hard. It hit Sam harder than he expected, making him wish he would've stopped by more often to check in on Bobby; who looked more worn than usual with a hell of a lot more gray hair.

Sam nodded and tried to smile, "Bobby."

Alorest stared, trying to keep himself calm as the older man’s eyes went from the taller Winchester, then down to him and settled there.

Bobby observed him with shock first, but it was quickly replaced with confusion, concern, and then disbelief, “Sam,” He looked back at the other man, “What did you do?”

The demon swallowed, eyes going to the younger Winchester as well.

"Believe it or not Bobby, not a thing," Sam looked at Alorest and thought, _Say something before he thinks you're brain dead, you dumb shit_. He could tell that Bobby was already beginning to believe it wasn't really Dean.

“Hey, Bobby,” Alorest started, brows narrowing as he smiled sheepishly, “Well, you look worse than I do. An’ that’s somethin’, considerin’...”

Bobby stared at him, nose raising slightly before he chuckled and backed up, making space for them to come in.

Alorest started to walk forward first but stopped still when Bobby splashed him in the face with holy water. The result wasn’t special, but he closed his eyes and sighed, spitting out the good mouthful he got while unaware.

Sam chuckled and patted Alorest on the back, urging him to move further into the house. Sam looked around and noticed it all looked the same as it ever did, "It's him, Bobby, trust me," Sam lied.

“Can’t be too careful,” The older man argued, reaching out and touching Alorest’s shoulder.

The demon blinked, smiling weakly before he was pulled into a tight hug, “Bobby-” He started in surprise, eyes widening before he wrapped his arms around the older man and squeezed him back, feeling the hug warm into him.

Sam watched and smiled, feeling the slight sting of jealousy over the fact that he wasn't the one hugging Alorest; then immediately felt like shit, because well, it was **Bobby** for Christ sakes. Much to Sam's surprise, the demon was doing a pretty good job holding it together.

He leaned up against the door frame, "How've you been, Bobby?"

Bobby pulled back after patting Alorest’s back and looked Sam over head to foot on good time, “How do you think I’ve been, kid? C'mere now, y’idjit.” He reached out, offering a hug to Sam as well.

"I'm sorry, ya know," Sam wrapped his long arms around the older man and squeezed firmly, "For not comin' around more often."

“Yeah ya are,” Bobby said, pulling back and looking at the two of them, “It’s just good to see you boys in one piece, on the outside at least,” He observed.

Alorest nodded in agreement as Bobby finally let Sam go completely.

“Speakin’ of,” The older man looked Alorest over now, more than he had before, “How exactly **are** you in one piece?”

Alorest glanced at Sam and then dropped his eyes in shame, “That’s kinda why we’re here, Bobby. I mean, it’s good to see you too, but there’s... There’s a problem.”

Bobby crossed his arms, “Of course there is.”

Sam nodded at Alorest's chest, "Show him."

Alorest lifted his shirt, pulling it off completely and revealing the scar. He paused though, even as Bobby blinked in astonishment. The demon’s eyes met Sam’s, widening more; the scar had grown.

“What in the Hell?” Bobby asked as he reached out to it.

"Yeah," Sam walked over, squinting as he reexamined it, "It changed..." Sam looked at Alorest as if he'd have the answer, even though he knew he didn't.

The demon swallowed nervously, “It was different, before, Bobby. But it was there. An’ each time I say... I say his name... I-it’s like-”

“Who’s name?” Bobby’s brows narrowed and he looked up at Alorest.

“I can’t **say** the name,” Alorest hinted, “An’ you can’t either, it hurts me if you do.”

“A demon?”

Alorest nodded and watched as the older man straightened up, staring him seriously in the eyes.

“How **exactly** did you get out of Hell, Dean? What do you remember?”

The demon’s eyes widened at his name and he looked to Sam, nervously licking his lips.

Sam spoke up and avoided saying the real name, instead he used the familiar nick name, "It was yellow-eyes, Bobby." He gave the demon a knowing look, willing him to stay calm.

Bobby frowned more, nodding, “You performed somethin’ with him, didn’t you, boy?” He said more than asked, staring Alorest down.

“Yes sir,” Alorest answered, “How... How do you know?”

“Cause you’re an idjit,” The older man said, smacking Alorest on the back of the head and stalking off from the room, “The pair of you do the dumbest things just to be with each other, I swear.”

Alorest looked at Sam, smiling sadly.

The younger Winchester looked after Bobby with a confused expression on his face as he walked over to Alorest and whispered, "So wait, how much does Bobby know?" Sam felt like the odd one out at this point.

The demon turned, swallowing and shaking his head, “I don’t know,” He admitted, shrugging.

“You two,” Bobby raised his voice, “Get in here already, we don’t have all day.”

Sam had felt more comfortable than not by putting his hand on Alorest's back as they walked into the other room together.

The demon smiled at the heat of Sam’s palm resting against his skin and he glanced at the younger Winchester, licking his lips as they joined Bobby at his desk.

The older man had pulled out a large text, flipping through it and stopping somewhere near the back; he stilled as he read before looking up and observing the scar, “You sacrificed another hunter, Dean, _willingly_?”

Alorest dropped his gaze to the book, “Y-yes sir.”

Bobby nodded, “Bein’ in there so long, musta been hard to keep a hold of yourself.”

This was new information to Sam, he just looked at Alorest confused, "You could've told me that," He growled into the demon's ear. Sam looked at Bobby and pointed to the book, "Does it say anything else?"

“Yellow-eyes owns you,” Bobby gave Alorest a look like the demon knew that already, _but he didn’t_.

Alorest frowned, “He what?”

“He owns you, Dean,” The older man explained, “When you killed that hunter, an’ when he...” Bobby raised a hand to the scar on Alorest’s chest, “When he did _that_ , he claimed a part of you, and you gave it up to him.”

“But I didn’t,” The demon licked his lips nervously, “I didn’t know that.”

"Great," Sam glared at Alorest before looking back to Bobby, "When you say he _owns_ Dean, what exactly are you implying?"

Bobby frowned more, “I mean, he can summon you, Dean. At any moment in time, he can summon you to him. It also means that his name causes you harm whenever spoken. An’ that the part of you he has, you can’t get back, unless you kill him. An’ you **won’t** get it back if someone else kills him. It has to be _you_.”

Alorest swallowed, “Wh... What part did he take?”

The older man’s jaw tightened and Alorest felt his gut twist in fear and anticipation.

Sam almost felt light headed, this was all a lot more than he was expecting and he didn't like the fact that Azazel could just up and summon Alorest whenever he pleased; didn't like it one bit. He rubbed the back of the demon's neck reassuringly as they waited for Bobby to tell them.

“You haven’t noticed somethin’ missin’, son?” Bobby raised his brows.

Alorest shook his head, “Not... Not really. Wh-”

“How much have you thought of John, since you came back up?”

The demon licked his lips, frowning more and more as he remembered the leather jacket in the back seat of the Impala, “What are you sayin’, Bobby? I don’t understand.”

“You’re sense of respect an’ worth,” Bobby explained, “Of course, you didn’t have much self worth to begin with, but for others... You might as well be walkin’ without a soul, boy.”

Sam leaned forward and put his hands on the table, "So what you're sayin' is that he doesn't have a soul?" The sad part was, this almost relieved Sam. He thought that maybe if Alorest killed Azazel and got his soul back, **maybe** and he knew it was a big maybe, he'd be more like himself again, "I don't get it," Sam admitted.

“No, he has a soul alright,” Bobby looked at Alorest seriously, “But you need to understand that any choice you make is impaired. Let Sam do that, I know it sounds like a pain in the ass, but let him. You can’t decide correctly on anythin’, an’ choices you make won’t have the concern for other people in mind, or yourself.”

Alorest shook his head, “I still don’t...”

“People know the value of life,” Bobby explained, “You don’t. Right now, you’re lookin’ at people like you lookit yourself some times, Dean. Do you get that?”

Alorest stilled. He knew that one, that feeling, he was well aware of it. He stared sadly at Bobby, “So, what then? I think low of others, and myself. What then?”

Bobby stood back, “You’ve probably been sayin’ all kinds of things you wouldn’t normally wanna say, haven’t you?”  
  
"Understatement if I ever heard one," Sam muttered, thinking of all the things he'd heard Alorest say already, "So what do we do? If he can summon Dean then he can pretty much control him right?" _And speaking of, why hasn't he summoned him yet?_

“Controlling someone isn’t as easy as you think,” Bobby corrected the younger Winchester, “Especially after what Dean’s been through. You might be lucky enough, strong-willed enough to resist all sorts of things.”

“All sorts of things like?” Alorest raised a brow.

Bobby shrugged, “Being summoned, for one. You were in Hell long enough. You just had three really powerful demons raise you up. There’s no telling how _much_ or how _little_ effect he’ll have on you.”

 _Two strong demons, technically_ , considering Alorest had been one of them, but he didn’t correct Bobby.

"So, he has to kill yellow-eyes?" Sam shook his head and flexed his hands, "How exactly are we supposed to do that considering we thought Dean killed him last time?"

Bobby shrugged, “Dean brought him back up this time, you two might wanna settle in for a long wait though, he’s not gonna come up any time soon, that’s for sure. As for the scar, stop sayin’ his name. It definitely won’t help.”

Alorest looked down at it, touching the skin over the anti-possession tattoo and looking back at Sam. He’d thought the things he was saying, letting out, were because he was a demon, and because he couldn’t have cared less. But now it seemed like there was more to it than just that. Now, now he didn’t know **what** to say. _What would be something he didn’t want to tell Sam?_ He wasn’t sure. Either way, he didn’t like lying, and he didn’t like Dean lying to Sam either, it was irritating.

"Well," Sam sighed, "Thanks for everything, Bobby. We should probably head out soon," He looked at Alorest and then lowered his gaze back to Bobby.

The older man nodded at the pair of them, “I’ll look more into this, contact you as soon as I learn more about it. And, Sam,” He looked at the younger Winchester, “You keep an eye on that boy, you understand me?”

"You know I will, Bobby," Sam clapped Alorest on the shoulder and smiled at him.

Alorest rolled his eyes, “Oh please,” He sighed, turning and walking back into the front room, grabbing his shirt from where he’d set it and pulling it back on.

Sam snickered, "He just doesn't like the idea of his _younger_ brother having to look out for his ass," Sam shrugged, "Anyway, Bobby, just give us a call."

Bobby smirked and watched after Alorest, turning back to Sam and nodding, “You keep an eye on him, Sam,” He said, voice lower than normal, “I mean it. Somethin’ isn’t right about this.”

Sam nodded and his face went serious, he offered a simple, "I will, I promise," before he practically pushed Alorest out the front door.

The demon frowned, looking back at Sam as they walked out to the car, “Alright, now what the Hell was that about?”

"I don't know, you tell me," Sam kicked the dirt angrily before he got into the Impala, "Great. Your thoughts are impaired by whatever," Sam waved his hand around in front of him, "And I'm hooked on demon blood, we're fucked."

Alorest climbed into the driver’s seat, he pulled back from starting the car and turned to look at Sam. “I’m sorry.” He said suddenly.

Sam looked over at him, somewhat taken aback, "Sorry for what?"

“I didn’t tell you about the other hunter,” Alorest explained, “Honestly, I haven’t told you really... Anythin’... I’m sorry.”

"It's okay," Sam said softly, "You can talk to me whenever you're ready, you know that right?"

“I don’t, though,” Alorest said, starting up the Impala and pulling out of Bobby’s driveway, “You heard him. No worth, no self-worth, no filter. The ‘ _open_ ’ things I’ve been tellin’ you haven’t really been about myself, have they...? I dunno what to tell you an’ what not to...”

Sam turned a little in his seat, just casually raking his eyes over his brother's body, "Do you think once you kill yellow-eyes, you'll be more like yourself?" Sam asked before he could stop himself.

Alorest ducked out his lips, considering it for a moment, “I hope so. I don’t know though. I didn’t even notice anythin’ was gone.”

Sam watched Alorest's mouth, "You've really gotta stop doin' that," He thought, or at least he was pretty sure he thought it; might have said it out loud, he wasn't sure.

“Doin’ what?” Alorest raised his brows, glancing over at Sam and his eyes widened when he noticed where the younger Winchester was looking, “Oh... Um...”

"No," Sam tried covering himself, "I mean you need to think more positive." _Shit_.

Alorest rolled his eyes, "You should probably stop assumin' that you can hide somethin' like **that**. I know how you feel about me, so why do you keep pretendin' like I forgot or somethin'?"

Sam turned back around and stared at the dashboard, "To avoid feeling so awkward afterwards," He answered honestly.

"It doesn't feel awkward to pretend **nothin'** happened?" Alorest raised a brow, "Because I feel awkward _anytime_ I lie to you. I dunno how you don't feel what I do, pretendin' things like last night didn't happen."

"I **do** feel awkward. I feel awkward anytime I **look** at you," Sam said, glancing at him, "I woke up feeling like shit over what happened, thought we'd both be better off pretending it never did."

Alorest shook his head, “Ignorin’ things like that... They just make things worse. They just build up. An’ I don’t wanna ignore it.”

"Well," Sam looked out the window and watched things pass by, "I'm pretty sure I already apologized for it last night." Sam could feel his cheeks heating up just thinking about it.

"I know," The demon said, smiling to himself, "I was there, I remember; probably better than you do. But..." He looked over at Sam, "There's these things you do, an' you either pretend they don't happen, or you expect me not to say anythin', an' I'm gonna, now. Because you should know that they're okay to do."

Sam sighed and crouched in the seat a little, avoiding eye contact, "Like what?"

“The lips thing you just did,” Alorest said knowingly, “Restin’ your hand on my back, or on my neck like you did earlier. Watchin’ me change. I’m not stupid, Sam. I notice them _**all**_.”

"If it's any consolation, half the time I don't really even realize I'm doing it," Sam admitted as he ran his hands down his legs, "Sorry."

The demon rolled his eyes, “Don’t apologize, that’s what I’m sayin’. I mean,” He took a breath, looking over at the younger Winchester, “Not only do I **not** mind, but I like it. Just because I’m different, it doesn’t mean I don’t have the same _feelings_ for you. I’m... I’m kinda still him.”

"O-Okay," Sam nodded hesitantly, he felt awkward, exactly like he didn't want to.

“Weird,” Alorest agreed without explaining why, but he knew Sam would understand well enough, “When are we ever normal though?”

"Touche," Sam grinned at Alorest, then looked back out the window.

He wasn't sure how it would change their dynamic, but he knew it would.


	7. Chapter 5

Alorest dropped the newspaper down in front of Sam, taking his seat at the table with the larger man and propping up his boots on the third chair, "That's three cases now, just in this week alone. That's a pattern, so, it's solid enough for me, or... Well, not really 'solid', but-"

Sam looked up from the laptop at Alorest, then glanced back down to the paper, skimming it briefly, "Good enough for me, at least we'll get out of this room for a little while." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and picked up his coffee, sipping on it hesitantly.

The demon glanced over Sam, licking his lips and picking at his nails, a habit he'd gathered over the past week. "It's kinda our first case," He said, smiling a bit.  
Sam closed his laptop and crossed his arms on the table, his teeth slightly tugging at his bottom lip as he tried to keep from smiling, "Yeah? Just don't get me killed, okay?"

"Never," Alorest said before he could stop himself, eyes turning black suddenly and he looked out the window, "That's not gonna happen, not while I'm around."

Whenever the demon flicked his eyes to black it was like Sam lost his train of thought, words not even really coming out coherently in his head, so he knew that if he tried to say anything it would just come out a big jumbled mess. He let his bottom lip go, and was staring with his lips parted, his breaths coming in heavy but short intervals. When he fully realized that he'd been gawking like a loon, he forced himself to nod in acknowledgment.

Alorest notched his brows together and looked at Sam finally, eyes like dark pools of black ink. He stared at the younger Winchester, observing him, "Well, that's different." He blinked, pushing the darkness back and watching the change.

"W-What is?" Sam stammered, shifting in his chair uncomfortably as he practically played with the newspaper as a distraction.

The demon shrugged, "Nothin' apparently, you still seem to think I'm dumber'n a box of rocks."

"I didn't say that," Sam defended himself, laying the paper down, "I'm just not one hundred percent comfortable with openly slobbering over you, give me time."

Alorest blinked, returning his eyes to normal completely and rolling them, "I'm not askin' you to do somethin' stupid like that. I'm just askin' you to be a bit more honest. It doesn't hurt to  **not** hide. Especially when I've been perfectly honest with you, Sam. I know it's not the Winchester way, but you can try to be open with me. I'm not gonna bite...  _Unless you want me to_."

Sam almost chuckled at the last part as he straightened up in his chair, "I'll try," He offered, looking back up at the demon, "Now, what's different?"

"Your..." Alorest smiled, very similar to how Dean would smirk when he knew he was being a pain in the ass on purpose but, with the demon, it was more of a humbling, curious smile, instead of a cocky grin, "Your hard-on for demon eyes."

"Yeah," Sam grinned and stood up, "That's  **definitely**  new," He walked over to the coffee pot to refill his mug, standing with one hip propped against the counter, "Not really sure what that's about." All he knew was that he never really cared for them until Alorest showed up.

The demon raised his brows at Sam finally admitting it instead of denying everything as usual, “I guess I never considered kinks, as far as demons go, but it makes sense. You... Probably wouldn’t be really thrilled with what we  _actually_  look like.”

"I'd like to avoid finding out," Sam admitted, looking back at the demon.

“That’s right,” Alorest confirmed, “The smoky black, the ink eyes, it’s nothin’ compared to what’s underneath. Nothin’ at all.”

"I'm not just gonna wake up one morning to find you in your true form, am I?" Sam joked as he used his hips to push himself away from the counter.

Alorest shook his head, “I don’t think it works that way, I don’t even know if we can appear in our real form without the dark. Hell, I’m kinda afraid of even jumpin’ from this body. Don’t even know if I can. I mean, it wouldn’t make sense if I couldn’t but... You get the idea.”

"Yeah, I don't think I'd want you to try either," Sam admitted and sat down at the edge of the bed. It didn't make sense, but he didn't want Alorest going anywhere.

“So,” The demon started, getting up and pulling his own duffel bag out from under the bed, “Suits? Visit the crime scene?”

"I hung 'em up in the closet," Sam pointed, remembering how long it'd been since he seen his brother in a suit. He took a few more sips of his coffee and sat it down to go pull his own out of the closet. Sam stepped in the bathroom, leaving Alorest to get dressed in the other room. After he was fully dressed, Sam looked at himself in the mirror and noted the growing dark circles under his eyes. He brushed it off and adjusted his collar as he stepped out of the bathroom.

Alorest moved to the side closet, pulling out his own suit and dressing carefully. He rolled his shoulders once he’d pulled the white dress shirt on, shaping it into his frame before he kicked off his jeans and stepped into the smooth slacks. He was just reaching behind himself to tuck in the back of his shirt when Sam walked into the room once more. He was... Clearly slower than he use to be.

Sam's attention snapped up to Alorest and he couldn't help but smile, he leaned against the bathroom door frame, "You look good."

The demon glanced down at himself, the sleeves uncuffed, the shoes still by the bedside, the jacket sitting on the comforter, the tie still undone, slapped over his shoulders, “I’ve got two pieces of a four piece on, an’ I look  _good_?”

"Naturally," Sam knew he was pushing it, who could blame him for trying to get closer though, "You need help with that, or do you remember how to tie it?" Sam gestured to the tie.

Alorest smirked, licking his lips and turning to the younger Winchester, “Well, I wouldn’t be completely opposed to you doin’ it.”

Sam closed the distance between the two of them easily with one long stride. He tugged the tie off of Alorest's shoulders and wrapped his arms around the back of his neck to adjust the tie underneath the collar. Sam smiled as he looped and adjusted the tie to where it needed to be, giving the demon a quick glance and a lingering pat on the chest, "There ya go."

“Thank you,” The demon’s eyes steadied on Sam’s lips for a moment and then he was suddenly reaching up to tighten Sam’s tie, “You always keep these too loose,” He said, smiling, “I remember half the time I could catch you by that thing without even tryin’, so loose you might get it snagged on somethin’. You learn nothin’ still?”  
  
Sam grabbed the demon's hands to pull them away from his tie, "I'm not really keen on the idea of chokin' to death," Sam chuckled as he tried to look anywhere besides his brother's entirely-too-perfect lips.

“You don’t hafta choke yourself,” Alorest corrected, speaking over Sam like a doting mother, “But if you keep it too loose it’s just gonna irritate you, an’ it’s gonna get  **stuck on somethin** ’. How many times do I have to tell you-”

"You irritate me," Sam retorted weakly, "Besides, I don't get close enough to anything to really get it stuck."

The demon rolled his eyes, tightening his own tie in front of Sam with an ‘ _in your face_ ’ look, “You say that now, but when you get caught on somethin’ an’ you feel really stupid, don’t you come cryin’ to me.”

"You'd comfort me and you know it," Sam huffed and walked over to his duffel-bag to get his things ready, chuckling softly at his failed attempt to get closer to the demon. Being that close was nice and all, Sam just wanted a little  **more**  and that didn't really go exactly quite the way he imagined it.

Alorest turned back, grabbing his belt and pulling it on. It was weird for him, sometimes, acting like Dean. Some times, it felt like someone else completely, saying the things he did. The more and more he reminded himself of Dean, the less he felt like himself, which probably shouldn’t have been the case, considering he  **was**  Dean. It wasn’t familiar anymore though. Technically, he’d spent more time as a demon now, in his life, than he’d  _ever_  spent as a human.

Sam sat down at the table and dropped his bag beside him, his eyes scanning Alorest as he waited on him.

“Okay, okay, princess,” Alorest snatched up his jacket, struggling to pull it on, “You can wait two seconds, can’t you? It’s been a while.”

"I wasn't complaining," Sam leaned back in the chair a little and crossed his arms, "Just watchin'."

The demon chuckled, grabbing up his gun and tucking it back behind him, in the hem of his pants, “Alright, alright, we can go now.”

* * *

Alorest stared at the body on the bed, tilting his head and looking up into the hollow of her throat, the tissue spilling out onto her chest. He was completely silent for nearly an entire minute before he turned to Sam, "I've seen worse."

Sam looked up from the body to Alorest, "Of  **course**  you have," Sam scoffed, diverting his attention back to the corpse.

The demon moved in close, looking towards the body's feet and frowned, "She was originally on her stomach, an' then turned over afterwards..." He tilted his head, "Have they tried checkin' if there's anythin' on her back?"

Sam flipped through the report, "Doesn't say much," He sat the file down and gestured to the corpse, "Give me a hand."

Alorest shook his head, "No, don't touch her," He reached out with both hands, pushing her up and rolling her over with his telekinesis. "Demon," He said when he was done, smirking, "Remember?"

"Show off," Sam muttered, trying to hide his own grin, a light pink blush creeping up his neck.  _Right now is not the time to be blushing like a twelve year old girl, Sam, pull it together._  He leaned over the body and looked back up at Alorest, "Whaddya think?"

“Well,” Alorest swallowed, reaching out with his gloved hand and pulling back the side of one of the cuts, observing it’s depth, “These are clean cuts,  _deep_  cuts. If it’s a ghost... They might have a history with blades. And... I think it’s a woman.”

Sam cleared his throat and furrowed his brows, "What makes you think it's a woman?"

Alorest shrugged, “It’s mostly a feelin’, but I’m thinkin’ this is revenge. These cuts are clean, but they’re so deep. Hate makes cuts like this. An’ women are far more angry than men are. That’s not sexist, that’s an observation.”

"Vengeful spirit, that's never good," Sam looked at Alorest and shrugged, "What now?"

“I say,” Alorest turned his back on the body, “We go out, we get somethin’ to eat, maybe have a beer or two, an’ then we head back to the motel, an’ see if we can figure out who these victims got in common. Sound good?”

Sam pulled his gloves off and took a picture of the body with his phone, to use for research later, he put it away and turned, "I would say it sounds good, but nothing really seems appetizing if you're staring at a dead body," Sam elbowed Alorest in the arm lightly, "But yeah, let's go."

“That bothered you?” The demon asked, raising his brows, “Just made me /more/ hungry. Well... Not for your human food but... I’m sure you get the idea.”

"Doesn't really bother me, just doesn't exactly make me hungry either," Sam stated, rolling his shoulders.

Alorest clapped Sam on the back as they left the victim’s house. He climbed into the Impala and started her up, smirking across the seat at the taller man, “God, this reminds me of old times. It’s been...  _Centuries_.”

Sam smiled back, "I've missed it," His tone was a little sentimental. Granted he had hunted without Dean, but it was never the same. This was a mixture of both new and old to Sam, the familiar body by his side, but with a few supernatural perks of having a demon to work with.

* * *

Sam was shoving steak in his mouth and moaning over how good it was, "This is great." He hadn't really been eating as much as he should've been and he knew it, mentally chastised himself for it.  _You're gonna need to be strong and not weak if you plan on helping him fight Lilith_. It had been even longer since he last had any demon blood, signs of it were evident if you paid enough attention to his twitching hands. He was doing pretty good at keeping it under control though.

Alorest had gotten tired of pretending to eat long ago, he sat across from Sam, arms resting on the table, a single glass of beer within reach as he watched the younger Winchester. He remembered the taste of steak, even sort of missed it, but he didn’t dare give it a try. The pie had been luck, he wasn’t going to go around forcing food down his throat just because he  **remembered**  it use to taste good.

"Are you really just gonna sit there and watch me eat?" Sam said around a mouthful of steak.

“Looks like it,” The demon responded, smiling weakly and sipping at his beer.  
Sam leaned in a little, "When's the last time you  _ate_?" He asked in a harsh whisper, not meaning human food.

Alorest shook his head, “It doesn’t matter how often I ‘eat’, that’s not how I work. It’s just how strong I get  **before**  we fight Lilith. I can eat any time I want, I don’t starve. Not like you,” He pointed out to Sam’s shaking hands, “How many different ways do  **you**  starve, Sam?”

"I'm fine," Sam tightened his grip on the fork to keep his hand from shaking, looking away from Alorest.

“I’m with you, Sam, every single night,” Alorest said, rolling his eyes, “You can drink  **every night**. Hell, I advise it. Don’t starve yourself when you have food.”

"Okay," Sam took another bite of his steak, "Later then," He smirked at Alorest, "Or you know, whenever." He hadn't been necessarily going out of his way to avoid drinking Alorest's blood,  _or maybe he had been,_  who knows?

The demon frowned, but nodded, “I need you to get stronger, not to sit here an’ starve yourself when you have me around. I’m not going to run out of blood. I’m not human.”

Sam laid his fork down, "I know that, it's just..." He sighed and ran his hand over his face, "It's nothing, never mind."

Alorest’s brow’s narrowed, “What is it, Sam?”

Sam focused his eyes on a spot on the table, "On top of your blood making me feel...  _really_  fuckin' strong, it does other things to me too," Sam finally looked at him, "You're not stupid, you remember last time. I just- I just hate being that close to you physically, because half the time I don't know If I'll be able to keep my hands to myself," Sam clenched his jaw, "If you wouldn't have pushed me away last time, I don't know If I would've stopped and I  **hate**  that."

“You hate that you don’t want to stop?” Alorest raised a brow, “Or that I pushed you away?”

"Both, I don't know," Sam shrugged and looked out the diner window, "It's just, I keep thinking ' _what if it isn't something **he**  would want_'. Then when you pushed me away it just kind of, I don't know, cemented the idea."

“You were also drunk,” Alorest added, “I didn’t push you away because I didn’t want it. It would’ve been wrong to take advantage of you while you were like that, and I wasn’t.”

"Take advantage of  **me**?" Sam chuckled, "So it was just because I was drunk, you're positive?"

Alorest stared at Sam, suddenly becoming very serious, “Do I look like I’m holdin’ anythin’ back? Sam? Could I, even if I tried? Look in my eyes an’ tell me there’s more to it. There’s not.”

Sam leaned further over the table, his face a few inches from the demon's, his eyes not wavering from Alorest's. Sam licked his lips and smirked, "Guess not."

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Sam,” The demon said, unblinking, “I don’t want to, you have my word.”

Sam's eyes scanned the sheet of freckles over the bridge of his brother's nose and he nodded, pulling back, "I'm full, you 'bout ready to get out of here?"

Alorest smiled softly, “I’ve  **been**  ready,” He said, downing his beer and standing up, pulling a couple of bills from his wallet and throwing them down on the table.

"Well then," Sam stood up beside him and flashed a toothy grin, "Let's go."

* * *

Alorest slung the tie off the moment he was in the door, kicking away his shoes and pulling off his jacket as he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his white dress shirt. He yanked the gun from the back of his pants and set it on the bed as he continued dressing down.

Sam tugged at his tie, but he didn't take it off completely. He sat down at the table and stretched his body out, hitting his head on the wall behind him as he slid his shoes off.

Eventually, the demon just pulled the white button-up off all together and started fishing around his duffel-bag for a replacement, something with less pull over his chest, “So, did you wanna drink now, or...?”

Sam pushed himself up off the chair, shucking his jacket off as he walked over to Alorest, "Wouldn't mind it."

Alorest took up Dean’s plain black shirt, standing upright and his eyes met Sam’s, “Okay,” He sat down, pulling the shirt over his head.

Sam sat next to him, he reached into his pocket then and handed Alorest the knife.

The demon flicked the blade out and raised a brow at Sam, “Where do you want this?”

Sam ran his hands along his legs, they were already getting clammy from anticipation, "Completely up to you."

Alorest rolled his eyes, he knew  _why_  Sam was avoiding it. So, to tease the younger Winchester, he drew the sharp metal over the soft, sensitive skin above the inside of his right collarbone, eyes set on the other man’s.

Sam felt a small smile twitch at the corner of his mouth before he leaned over a little, dragging his tongue over the bitter copper. He kept his hands in his lap, constantly trying to keep them there. He encased the slightly freckled skin with his mouth, sucking and pulling on it lightly.

The demon blinked, eyes pooling black as they seemed to do once anything really intimate with the younger Winchester took place. He reached up, not particularly paying attention to what he was doing, and his hand rested suddenly on the back of Sam’s neck.

Sam shuddered at the touch and pulled away for a minute to look at Alorest, blood still smeared on his lips. He wasn't doing it to be a sap, but he reached up and ran his thumb along the underneath of Alorest's right eye.  _God damn that is **hot**_.

Alorest stared back, mouth parting slightly as his fingers tightened into Sam’s hair. He couldn’t help the pulling inside of him, like a cord drawing him closer to the larger man, needing things he wasn’t comfortable enough with needing from another person.

Sam leaned in a little more and pressed his lips to Alorest's jaw slowly and he began dragging his lips along the demon's throat, placing kisses sporadically all the way back down to the collar bone. He wrapped his lips back around the cut, drawing more blood into his mouth.

Sam was hard, he couldn't have denied it if he wanted to. Everything about it felt right, almost more intimate than Sam expected, but he liked it.

A soft, surprised gasp escaped the demon’s lips as his second hand dropped back to hold himself up. He looked down, pressing his mouth into Sam’s hair as he felt the chill bumps roll down his body, the stirring in his loins as the larger man drew blood forth from him.

Sam hummed against Alorest's skin as he slid his right hand over to the inside of the demon's right thigh, he squeezed gently, then let his hand linger there, afraid to do much else.

“Sam,” The demon breathed out, voice heavy and heated, the hand on Sam’s neck moving up, thumb brushing a spot underneath his ear.

Sam lips parted from the skin, but he kept them close, "Tell me if this is too much," It ended up sounding more like a whisper.

“It’s never too much, I’m fine,” The demon responded, looking down at Sam the best he could.

Sam took another draw of blood then trailed the tip of his nose along Alorest's neck, up to his ear, "I want you pretty bad," Sam laid his palm flat against the demon's thigh and moved his hand up, "I should probably stop."

Alorest’s eyes widened. He turned his head into Sam, lips touching the corner of his jaw, “Probably,” he responded, voice hitching as he dropped his eyes to Sam’s hand, watching it, the longer fingers curving over his black slacks.

Sam stilled his hand and pulled back so that his nose was touching Alorest's, "Do you want me to?"

The demon blinked, black pools staring up at Sam and his bottom lip trembled, “I don’t know,” He admitted honestly. He wanted it, he wanted it more than anything, but he was hesitant. There was still that voice inside of him, the Dean parts of him, telling him not to, telling him Sam deserved better, telling him that Sam could always  **do**  better, telling him that he was a demon, he was incomplete, he was broken, and if Dean didn’t deserve Sam, then  _he_   **definitely**  didn’t.

Sam sighed and tilted his forehead to Alorest's, removing his hands from the demon's thigh, "Just because I was drunk, huh?" Sam put both of his hands on his brother's freckled face and kissed him chastely one time before he backed away, and wiped the rest of the blood off of his lips.

“Sam,” Alorest started, left brow twitching slightly as he sat up, “Let me explain-”

Sam narrowed his brows and put his hand up to stop Alorest, "You act like you want me, then you push me away, it's kind of fuckin' with my head, man."

So this is what Bobby had meant when he’d said loss of worth. The demon looked away helplessly, taking Sam’s forearm and resting his hand back down, “I do want you. I  **do** , Sam, it’s impossible not to. An’ I’ve said I do, it’s not all talk. But, I-just...”

"Do you realize how long I've wanted you?" Sam grabbed Alorest's hand, "And not just physically. Just to be with you, to be able to call you mine. You need to tell me what the issue is so we can fix it." Sam's eyes were pleading, even though the demon wasn't looking at him.

“You want  _Dean_ ,” Alorest said softly, “You wanted  _Dean_ , not me. I’m just some poor excuse for a man that’d become so broken an’ defeated–I’m just a shadow of him, Sam. I keep tellin’ you not to confuse us, I keep tryin’ to tell you-”

"Don't give me that bullshit," Sam reached out and turned the demon's face towards him, "What if I want both sides of you?" Sam's bottom lip was trembling. It hit him pretty hard that he did, in fact, want both sides of Dean; including Alorest. He loved Dean, that was a given, but Alorest had qualities that Sam admired too; qualities that Dean never had. The more Sam thought about it, the more he confused himself.

“Sam,” Alorest blinked in surprise, he heard the words, he knew them, but he didn’t believe them. After all of the years he’d been in Hell, fighting for the top, fighting to be  _here_ , he didn’t even imagine being in a situation similar to this one, with the younger Winchester. He expected to protect Sam, to wait outside his every door, not to have him so willing and wanting. To have Sam have feelings for not just Dean, but him as well.

“You shouldn’t,” He said, and even though he agreed with himself, he  **didn’t**  want Sam to.

"Well I do," Sam admitted and squeezed Alorest's hand, "This isn't something I can just take back; it's there, even if you don't want it to be."

The demon looked up, staring at Sam again finally and swallowing visibly. He had two things inside of him fighting, and it was painful to struggle between them. On one side, he didn’t deserve Sam, and he knew that, and he wanted Sam to try and find someone better. And then, on the other side, Sam obviously wanted him, and he was getting upset, Alorest wanted to give the younger Winchester what  _he_  wanted. He was incapable of making his own choices, it was splitting him up inside.

“I can’t... I can’t make this choice, Sam. You have to,” He looked up into Sam’s eyes, “I want you, I do. But I can’t keep fightin’ myself here. So I’ll leave it to you, I’m... I’m what you want to do with me. What you want, it’s what I want. Just decide with that, an’ I’ll do what I can with your choice.”

Sam remembered Bobby saying that he'd have to make decisions for  _Dean_ , but he didn't expect this. As far as Sam could see, there was only one obvious choice, "Hey," Sam spoke softly, cupping the demon's cheek with his right hand, "I want  **you** ,  _need_  you. And when I say that, I mean I want  **all**  of you, even the broken parts."

Alorest’s vision blurred, tears filling his eyes. It reminded him of how often Dean considered him and Sam to almost be one in the same. How Alorest needed him, needed that broken, beaten soul, how it was the only thing he had; so he was for Sam.

The younger Winchester needed him, the demon, with his claws latched into the mangled corpse of himself, the shell filled with shadows of Dean, and Sam was  **still**  willing to settle for what was left of them.  _More than willing_ , it was what he needed, as well.

Sam leaned forward and kissed the demon's wet eyes, one followed by the other, then he licked the salty tears off of his lips. He stared into the red-rimmed, emerald green eyes in front of him and then pressed his mouth to the demon's again, this time a little slower, "I want you to need me too."

“I  _do_  need you, Sam,” Alorest said at once, voice breaking as he spoke, “You’re the only reason I’m alive anymore, you’re the reason I came up here. I... If I don’t have you, I have nothin’. I meant it before, when I told you. I mean it now. The single reoccurring thought I had in Hell was to come up here, an’ be with you.”

"Then just..." Sam gripped the back of the demon's neck, "Just  ** _be_  **with me. It's not so hard." Sam's heart was pounding so violently that he thought he was going to get sick, the thrum of it blaring in his ears.

Alorest’s eyes darkened, the black filling them again and he nodded, chest constricting as he reached up, fist curling into the younger Winchester’s shirt, right against his stomach.

Sam felt his dick twitch and he moved closer, ghosting his lips on Alorest's. He wasn't sure if  _sex_  was a great idea at the moment, but whatever happened, he'd let it; even if it meant just being close to Alorest.

The demon’s eyelids drooped, gaze falling to Sam’s lips, the kiss earlier had been just a soft peck, but he could still feel the heat of it lingering there on his own, he wanted more. At  _least_ that, at least a kiss; it was more than he’d ever hoped for in his whole life.

"Tell me what you want," Sam breathed on Alorest's lips, his right hand laying hesitantly on the demon's shoulder. _Communication was a good place to start, right?_

“Not too much, I don’t think, not fast,” Alorest said weakly, “Just  _this_ , now,” He moved closer, drawing the side of his nose along Sam’s, lips mouthing against the larger man’s.

“Just this?” He requested.

Sam parted his lips and pressed into Alorest's, his mouth both warm and inviting. He tried to restrain himself a little, to let Alorest have control of the situation. The last thing Sam wanted to do was overwhelm him. He did, however, pull Alorest in closer, adding more pressure to the kiss.

The demon felt his body respond at once, head tilting, mouth opening, one hand moving to the back of Sam’s neck, his eyes staring into the face pressed close to him, tracing the brows, the hairline as he moved his lips in time with Sam’s.

The give and take of the kiss was lazy, but sensual and wonderful at the same time. Sam traced his tongue along Alorest's bottom lip, then sucked his top lip into his mouth, teeth grazing the skin. The younger Winchester took Alorest's hand and brought it up to his chest, laying it flat above his heart, "I want you to know that it's yours if you want it."

Sam knew Dean was probably groaning inside at how big of a girl he was being, but he wanted to put it out there anyway. That was, if Dean didn't already know he held Sam's heart.

There were parts of Alorest that responded with the half chuckle he managed before the other side kicked in, causing a sort of weak moan of approval, agreement, and return of the affection against Sam’s lips as he fisted the shirt again and pulled him closer, the length of his body desperate for more. He still didn’t want to do too much, he was clear enough with that, but he  _needed_  Sam against him in some way, or he might not make it through the next five minutes.

The kiss became a little heated, Sam used more tongue to guide his way into Alorest's mouth. He pushed on the demon's chest until he was laying flat, leaving Sam's body hovering slightly over his. He grabbed Alorest's hip for leverage, one of his knees on the outside of Alorest's thigh and Sam's other knee on the inside. Just being close like this felt amazing, the heat radiating from his brother's body seeping into his.

Alorest, though half convinced he’d almost forgotten how this all worked, was trying his best to keep up, trying to rely on his instincts and the honest reactions of his body. He wanted everything that was happening, he liked it all, but he was rusty. Demons didn’t even  **need**  to breathe, and he felt completely winded as he kissed back, lips and tongue cautiously tackling Sam’s. One of his hands settled under the collar of Sam’s white button-up, the other on the larger man’s hip and his gasp caught in his throat when he felt the knee between his shift.

Sam slid his hand cautiously from Alorest's hip to underneath the black shirt he was wearing, grazing the warm flesh with his fingertips. His lips were still pushing and pulling against the demon's, tongues meeting more often than not. Sam knew he needed to pull back; he had pretty decent self control, but he could only handle so much of this, "The case, we should probably get back to it."

“We should,” Alorest breathed, voice heavy with longing as his hands suddenly moved, tangling into Sam’s hair and pulling him down, deepening the kiss, the flat of his tongue tracing the roof of the younger Winchester’s mouth.

Sam half chuckled into Alorest's mouth, stealing a kiss between every other word, "I'm not going anywhere, we can do this later." Even though Sam wanted nothing more than to stay with his lips against the demon's.

Alorest nodded finally, pulling back, cheeks flushed and eyes watered slightly from their procrastination. He smiled weakly, “Alright, case first, you’re right,” he managed out breathlessly.

"I know I am," Sam stole one last kiss before leaning back and pushing himself off the bed.


	8. Chapter 6

Alorest watched the shower drain in silence, the swirls of grime and red little curling streams circling around before they went down, out of sight, out of mind. He scrubbed his arm, pressing the slab of flesh together until it mended itself. He finished up fast enough, once the tub under his feet was clean, gore free, and he shut the water down. He climbed from the shower, toweled off and joined Sam on the bed. Demons can’t get tired, but he still felt so completely  _exhausted_.

Sam was laid flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling when he heard Alorest come out of the bathroom. It had been a while since he had gotten so active during a job, his muscles ached in ways that were almost foreign to him now. He noticed that it hurt to make just about any sort of facial expression, when he reached up he could feel a cut just beneath his left eye on his cheekbone. Sam, despite how much it hurt, grinned at Alorest and reached his hand out to pull the demon down next to him.

Alorest laid his head on the pillow by Sam, wet hair soaking the cotton as he reached out, touching the larger man’s stomach with hesitant fingers, “Guess we’re lucky she cut my throat an’ not your’s,” He said sarcastically, hand smoothing over the patch on Sam’s side.

“Still not something I care to  _ever_  see again,” Sam rolled to his side so he could see Alorest better, it hurt to even move.

“Woulda been worse if it mattered,” The demon responded, licking his lips and staring into Sam’s eyes, “You thirsty?”

“Maybe,” Sam whispered as he leaned in and kissed his brother’s forehead.

Alorest smiled at the action before he turned, twisting around to pull up the jeans he’d tossed down on the floor when he’d undressed, grabbing the knife and handing it over to the larger man.

Sam flipped it open and stared at the blade, “Guess since you’re all nice and clean, I should probably try not to make a mess.” He threw a lazy grin at the demon.

“Just don’t get it on the bed, we don’t wanna have to take care of that later, or explain it to the manager,” Alorest responded, turning into Sam for ease.

Sam scooted closer and put one arm underneath Alorest’s head, bringing them both close. He kissed the demon at the same time he pressed the blade to the side of his neck, pulling the sharp edge slowly across the skin. Sam nuzzled his face into the crook of Alorest’s neck and latched on, his tongue working on the skin as he drank.

The younger Winchester folded the blade up and tossed it off the bed, then used his free arm to wrap around the demon’s waist.

Alorest groaned, his free hand reaching up and squeezing Sam’s shoulder, his eyes changed at once, pooling black and the hand clutching tight to his towel loosened. Every time this happened, he was taken aback by the sudden, sharp feelings inside of him, lust, hunger, want. And now, he didn’t have to hold back so much of himself, he could grab tight, he could hold onto Sam and not feel wrong in doing so.

Sam’s fingers had a mind of their own, drawing circles, lines and zigzags into his brother’s warm skin. He slid his fingers underneath the top of the towel and rested his hand low on the demon’s hip and squeezed firmly. Sam’s lips would only stray from the source long enough to place a few kisses on Alorest’s shoulder, then he’d go right back. Sam had noticed now that he’d been feeding more frequently, he had more of an appetite for the blood; which could be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it.

The demon’s thigh shook under Sam’s fingers and he felt the tremor run from his head to his feet at the soft kisses along his neck, involuntary moans being pulled from his lips and he leaned down, kissing Sam’s shoulder, sucking the skin, welling the blood underneath.

“ **Fuck** ,” Sam moaned, pulling his lips from the cut momentarily as he rolled his hips into Alorest’s. He had gotten pretty used to touching the demon, but actually having it reciprocated was another story entirely. He was squeezing on Alorest’s waist so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. It felt a little too damn good.

“Sam,” The demon said as he responded, lower body pressing forward, his hand caught between them. He moved, teeth dragging over Sam’s jaw, lips catching his earlobe.

Sam’s hand slid around to Alorest’s back, his fingers digging into the swell of the demon’s ass as he tried to pull him closer. “I want you,” Sam nudged his nose at Alorest’s ear before kissing below it, “But we don’t have to do this right now if you don’t want to.”

“This look to you like someone that doesn’t want to?” Alorest breathed out, voice heavy as he pressed his lips into Sam’s ear, tongue drawing along it’s curves.

“I just don’t want you to regret it,” Sam pushed Alorest back and rolled on top of him, nestling his hips between the demon’s warm thighs. Sam pulled the towel away, leaving Alorest completely naked beneath him. His breathing hitched a little when he actually took a moment to take the sight in, biting his bottom lip when he finally allowed himself to lay his hand over the scar on Alorest’s chest.

“There’s nothin’ to regret,” The demon whispered, face heating at the gaze studying him. He reached a hand up, thumbing the cut on Sam’s cheek before he drew the younger Winchester down and brushed his lips along it. His legs spread wider, accepting the large waist, Sam’s body thicker than his own, “Times like this,” He started, smiling slightly, “I realize just how much bigger’n me you really  **are**.”

“Little brother isn’t so  _little_ , hmm?” Sam smiled and ran his hand up Alorest’s side as he rolled his hips again, with a little more force this time.

“Sam,” Alorest dropped his head back, rutting his hips up, the hardened length of himself pressing insistently against Sam’s navel, hands gripping the younger Winchester’s shoulders.

Sam leaned back and pulled his shirt off, dipping in once more to press his body firmly against Alorest’s. He ran his tongue across the now healing cut on the demon’s neck and moaned a little when he tasted the copper.

Alorest lifted Sam’s face, staring into his eyes before drawing him up, kissing him in short, heated breaths, mouth open as he sat up, straightening Sam’s back. He moved down, lips taking in the younger Winchester’s left nipple as his hands unbuttoned the larger man’s jeans and he shifted his own legs underneath himself.

Sam looked down at Alorest, and equal amount of both love and lust filling his eyes.  _God_ , he had wanted this for so long. Sam ran his finger’s along the demon’s jaw, he looked into the black eyes and gasped when his own dick twitched.

Alorest stared back, carefully pushing Sam’s jeans down his hips, taking the boxers with them before he finally lifted the shirt off completely, helping the larger man so that he didn’t have to move his arms up too high. He kissed his way back down once more, mouthing the muscle of Sam’s left peck, hands wrapping around his cock, one after the other as they began a strong, sure stroke of it’s length.

Sam groaned and pulled Alorest’s face up to his, delving his tongue into the smaller man’s mouth. _Take it slow, Sam, you can do this_ , he had to keep reminding himself in order to keep from pushing the demon backwards and just having his way with him. The warm, soft, but calloused hands felt amazing on him, making him throb for more.

The demon groaned into Sam’s mouth, his own cock twitching at the tongue dominating against his. Knees slid over the sheets as he moved closer, taking their lengths together, smearing the pre-cum dripping from them down their shafts with his thumb.

Sam bit Alorest’s bottom lip and broke skin, in a haze he licked what little bit of blood there was. He had to use whatever self control he had left to keep from fucking helplessly into the demon’s hand, “God,” Sam’s voice was low and uneven, “I want you so fucking  _bad_.” His hands were touching any part of Alorest’s skin he could find, focusing mainly on his hips and ass.

Alorest pulled back, black eyes staring at Sam as his hands released their cocks. He licked his bottom lip and turned around suddenly, knees sliding down on the sheets, hips pressing into the bed as he laid on his stomach, legs spread out on either side of Sam, looking back at the younger Winchester over his shoulder.

“ _Well_?” He offered.

“Goddamn,” Sam nearly growled as he bent over and scraped his teeth along the curve of Alorest’s ass, pressing his lips into the soft skin. Sam put two of his fingers in his mouth and wet them both generously before he pressed just one of the finger’s against his brother’s puckered entrance. He leaned over and kissed the skin between Alorest’s shoulder blades as he pushed the first finger past the ring of muscle.

The demon’s eyes widened, cheeks flushing red at Sam’s response and his mouth popped open as the first finger pushed inside of him, “Sam,” He breathed out, need dripping through the name as his neck bent back, hands grabbing the pillow close to his face.

Sam added another finger slowly, forcing inward until his knuckles touched skin. He set a steady rhythm, pushing in and pulling out, arching his fingers downwards, “Tell me when you want more, I wanna hear you.” Sam breathed heavily against Alorest’s back.

“Fuck, Sammy,” Alorest managed out as his hips moved, grinding on Sam’s hand and his elbows bent above his head, hands grabbing the back of his own hair as he buried his face in the pillow, cheeks burning more as he fucked himself on the larger man’s fingers, “Please, Sammy, please.  _More_.”

Sam added a third finger, not quite as gentle as the last time and he used his free hand to rub his own cock, watching as his brother rocked back onto his fingers, “So fuckin’ hot,” It was barely more than a whisper. Sam stopped touching himself and leaned down on Alorest, his fingers still pumping lazily into the demon and he rested his mouth on the back of his neck. Hearing the demon ask for it had Sam harder than he had probably ever been before, almost to the point of it being painful.

Alorest was nearly to the point of whimpering now, eyes squeezed shut as the pleas tumbled from between his lips, fingers red from pulling at his hair. His entire body practically hummed each time Sam’s fingers pressed into him. It’d been so long since he’d felt like this, he nearly forgot what it was like, having someone please him in any way, his mind was reeled, overwhelmed and wrought with need.

His knees slid up again, gaining purchase on the sheets, hips working with Sam’s slow pumps. He wasn’t surprised at all when he came, no hands needed, seed spilling over the sheets, accompanied by his sharp, sobbing gasp of the younger Winchester’s name. So, they’d have to clean up after all, it was still worth it.

The younger Winchester pulled his fingers free, kissed the back of Alorest’s neck and worked his way to his cheek, “That good?” Sam murmured against the scruff as he settled his hips against Alorest. There was some sort of silent satisfaction Sam held over being able to make the demon come without even  _touching_  his dick.

“I don’t think you could even be  _made_  to understand,” Alorest said, voice shaky and weak, light as his face heated more from embarrassment. “It’s been so  _long_ ,” He swallowed, body moving back against Sam in need, his cock filling again, “Please, Sammy.”

Sam used his hand to grab the demon’s face, he turned it back towards him a little as he gazed at the black orbs, “Say it again,” He pressed a needy kiss to Alorest’s mouth.

The demon gasped, kissing Sam back, body twisting until their lips parted and he breathed into the younger Winchester’s face, “Please, Sammy.  _Please_.”

Sam let Alorest’s face go and leaned back on his thighs, spitting in his hand, then rubbing it along his length. He shifted, brought his knees closer as he held the base of his shaft and pressed the blunt end of his dick against the demon’s slightly worn center. He slid in slow and cautiously, feeling the white hot pull tugging in his balls, “Ah,  _fuck_ ,” Sam damn near gasped, unaware that he had been holding his breath.

The demon moved back, lifting himself up onto his hands and knees, head dropping between his arms as his legs spread for Sam. He bit his lip as he felt the pressure, heat forcing it’s way into him. He couldn’t feel the pain, just pleasure in spikes throughout his body and it was still just as overwhelming, as stunning as it was before his orgasm had hit.

Sam used Alorest’s hips for leverage as he pressed completely in, his dick twitching once he felt the tight heat encasing him, “ _Christ_.” He stilled his own hips momentarily as he leaned down and placed a single kiss to the middle of Alorest’s back before he pulled away and started thrusting at a slow rhythm.

The demon moaned, voice coming out louder than he’d intended, heaps of gasps escaping from his lips with each thrust of the larger man’s hips, slamming into him, hands holding him tight like a steel vice, “Sammy,” He breathed out, trying to move in sync with the younger Winchester, “Oh fuck.”

It had been so long since Sam last had sex, and everything felt a little too good, considering this is practically all he ever wanted. Sam knew he needed to make sure he kept his pace slow, to not get ahead of himself, which was difficult considering how vocal the demon was being. There was only one thing that could make the situation even more perfect, “Roll over, I wanna see you,” Sam pressed his lips to Alorest’s ear before he pulled out gently and leaned back.

Alorest let out a low, weak shudder at the absence before he turned, laying down on his back and situating himself, legs spreading to receive Sam as he stared up at the larger man, eyes solid black, lips parted as his heels lifted, dragging over the soft hair of Sam’s calves.

Sam leaned forward and propped himself with one arm as he used his free hand to glide back into Alorest, hesitating only after he was in to gaze into the demon’s black eyes. The younger Winchester wrapped his arms up underneath Alorest’s shoulders, thrusting in and out at a slightly faster pace as he dragged his lips lazily across the demon’s.  _I love you, I love you, I love you_ , Sam’s mind was in a frenzy. He wanted nothing more than to be able to call out a name, but he was conflicted as to which one he should use; _Alorest or Dean?_

Alorest closed his eyes, tongue tracing over Sam’s bottom lip as he rolled his hips, legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer as the demon writhed beneath him, licking his lips, fingers in Sam’s hair and clasping his shoulder, “Please, Sammy,” He was saying over and over again, mouth shaking as he blushed, freckles lighting up with the blood rushing up to the surface.

Sam panted against the other man’s lips, curses occasionally rolling out when the pleasure became  _too much_. He used his elbow to prop himself up enough to reach down between them, grabbing Alorest’s dick firmly in his big hand, rubbing his thumb softly over the head and the slit. He’d never really thought of calling another man beautiful, but there was no other word to describe the way his brother looked beneath him; the glossy black eyes in contrast to the blood sitting high in his cheeks, making each freckle stand out.

“Sammy,” The name was more of a tremble, words tumbling out in a mess, and Alorest blushed even more at just  **how**  needy and desperate he sounded. He didn’t care though, he’d sound like anything the younger Winchester  **wanted**  him to, if he could have this again.

His body arched into Sam as he came a second time, long webs of sticky white spilling over the larger man’s hand and Alorest gasped, a single tear slipping from his eyelids and dripping down into his hairline.

Seeing the other man fall to pieces beneath him was the final straw for Sam, he grunted softly against Alorest’s jawline as he came hard, his whole body tensing. As he relaxed, he brought his hand covered with the other man’s come up to his mouth and licked it, smiling softly before he rolled off of Alorest to lay beside him.

Sam turned to the demon, leaned over and kissed the wet streak next to his eye.

Alorest lay there, body shaking as he calmed down, smiling weakly as Sam kissed along the track of his tear, “Sam,” He said, panting, licking his dry lips as he turned to look at the larger man. He didn’t say anything more, eyes wet with tears, smile shaking as he cupped Sam’s cheek and pressed their mouths together.

Sam hummed happily against the demon’s lips as he laid his hand over Alorest’s, he used his other to thumb away the wetness from the demon’s eyes, “Why are you cryin’?”

“Why not?” Alorest asked, voice cracking as he turned, pressing his whole body into Sam, the emotions overwhelming him as he held the larger man tightly.

“Always thought I’d be the one to cry, not you,” Sam pressed his nose next to Alorest’s and smiled warmly as he wrapped his arm over the demon’s waist.

“To have this-” Alorest stopped, voice breaking in the middle of a hard, sharp sob, “After everythin’, I… I can’t even, Sam. I can’t  _even_.”

“Hey,” Sam murmured as he pressed his lips to Alorest’s forehead and pulled him closer, “It’s okay, you’ll  **always**  have me.” He felt his own emotions starting to bubble to the surface, his chest was tightening as he tried not to cry. It made sense to Sam though, both of them thinking they’d lost each other forever, without the chance to tell each other how they felt; and here they were, laying in one another’s arms.

The demon laced their legs together, lips pressing against Sam’s skin, kissing everything he could, the line of Sam’s jaw, the cord of muscle down his neck, the defined collarbone and out along the expanse of his chest. His lips moved, sucking softly; tongue tasting the bulk of his biceps. And then Alorest moved back up, mouth taking in the skin underneath Sam’s chin, over his cheeks; kissing his eye lids, his temples, his forehead, hands burying in the younger Winchester’s hair as he rolled on top of Sam, trying to cover the larger man with himself the best he could.

Sam closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh, loving every bit of contact he was receiving. Sam threaded his fingers through what little bit of hair his brother had, then rested his hand on his cheek, staring longingly into his eyes, “I know this isn’t something we say a lot, or at all for that matter,” Sam started, a little nervous, “But I thought, considering everything that’s happened, you deserve to hear it, you deserve so much that I can’t give to you.”

He leaned up and kissed the freckles beneath Alorest’s eyes, “I know it’s just a few words that don’t even come close to what I feel for you, but, I love you.”

Alorest swallowed, closing his eyes and smiling the best he could, smoothing his hand along Sam’s chest as he nosed the younger Winchester’s lips before kissing them, “I know what you mean. I love you, too, Sammy. It’s not nearly enough, it doesn’t even compare, but I do.”

“Good,” Sam whispered, rubbing his thumb over the corner of Alorest’s mouth as he kissed him softly. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, just to be able to finally say those three words out loud, and to have it reciprocated.

The demon kissed back, closing his eyes and sighing into Sam’s mouth in approval. He couldn’t explain the feelings inside of himself, they were unfamiliar. He wasn’t even sure Dean had ever  **felt**  them before; being content, being happy, that’s what Alorest’s best guess was. Whatever they were, they twisted inside, filled him with warmth and a comfort that was nearly dizzying. “It’s worth it,” He said, though silent otherwise, not elaborating.

Sam pressed his lips into Alorest’s neck and smiled, hugging the smaller man’s body firmly down onto his. Sam didn’t want to let him go, he’d stay like this forever if he could.

* * *

Shortly after Sam had fallen asleep, Alorest finally lifted an arm to shut the lights of the room out. He allowed himself to be taken over in his brother’s sleep-controlled movements, large arms wrapping around him as Sam eventually took the last of the sheets.

It wasn’t long after that that Alorest wrapped his own around the larger man, closing his eyes and smiling in content. He tried to ignore the swell in his chest as he watched his brother sleep, occasionally reaching up to warm the back of Sam’s neck, or brush a stray lock of hair from the younger Winchester’s face.

The demon stayed there, holding his brother tightly in arms that never felt exhaust, never slackened, feeling Dean’s vessel relax into the mattress below them until Sam finally woke in the morning. It was just as the sun began breaking through the trees outside their motel room, spreading a threatening line of sunlight along the foot of their bed, barely enough to light the room up.

It was probably the best sleep Sam had gotten since before Dean died, out cold but blissfully relaxed next to the demon. Sam was almost afraid that last nights events would change things between them, even though he’d try his best to keep things normal. The arms around him were warm and soft, but firm in a comforting sort of way.

Sam’s long finger’s felt out the tight muscles on the forearm that was around him, smiling at just how effortless all of this felt. It was almost easy to forget that Dean was a demon, _well_ , someone else entirely if you asked him personally, but Sam knew better. This was something Sam was sure he’d never get to wake up to, but he was glad he was wrong.

Alorest raised a brow, watching the younger Winchester’s actions with warming eyes, smiling as his hand moved again, fingers combing through the hair on the back of his brother’s neck, palm settling there and heating the skin back up. Sam’s hair was getting long, he’d observed that throughout the night. It hadn’t occurred to him before but, considering he’d just laid here for nearly seven hours, holding the larger man, he’d gotten time to note each mole along the younger man’s face, each little wrinkle of worry between his brother’s brows, and eventually, he’d gotten to the hair.

Sam smiled a little before he turned his eyes to the demon, giving him a small glance, “Mornin’.” It was simple enough, nothing too difficult to break the ice. Part of Sam was worried that Alorest,  _Dean_ , whoever he was at the moment, was going to regret last night all together. Then again, those small lingering touches don’t normally signal regret, so maybe things were okay.

“Mornin’,” Alorest responded, smiling at once and brushing some of the bangs from Sam’s face again. He’d probably done it twenty times during the night, but he didn’t mind. His fingers lingered, tracing down Sam’s jaw as he stared into the larger man’s eyes, his own full of love and adoration. Dean had never really woken up beside someone else, or slept in another’s arms, not often, at least, so this was a new experience for the demon. Being with Sam, that was new as well. Dean had always wanted to tell him, shame he’d waited, he’d  **clearly**  missed out.

Sam rolled a little more towards the demon, grinning at the lingering hand on his jaw, “Sorry If I snored or somethin’,” The younger Winchester draped his arm over his brother’s waist, “Or if you got uncomfortable.” Dean’s eyes were a little brighter than usual, literally almost making them sparkle in a way Sam hadn’t seen since before his brother went to hell.

Alorest chuckled, “You always snore, very softly. But it’s not obnoxious. And I can’t get uncomfortable, I don’t think I could if I tried.” He brushed his thumb over the corner of Sam’s lips and smiled wide, “But bein’ like this? Holdin’ you all night? Havin’ you in my arms, I think both of those would’a been withstood, no matter how loud or painful it got. A thousand years in Hell, for this. As it stands, I’m one-fifth of the way there, an’ I can say, I’d do it four more times.”

Sam couldn’t help the shit eating grin that spread across his face, he felt like a teenage girl that was being hit on by the guy she liked.  _This is getting ridiculous_. Sam leaned up a little to where his face was hovering over the demon’s, “Okay, Romeo,” The younger Winchester then reached down and stole a greedy kiss, morning breath be damned.

Alorest leaned in, a soft groan of appreciation escaping his lips as he kissed back, nipping Sam’s bottom lip before he pulled away, “I don’t mean to sound cheesy an’ romantic, it’s just… Dean never mentioned anythin’ in the slightest to you. I felt like it had to be said,” He touched Sam’s cheek and kissed him once more, “At least once, so’s I’ve said it, an’ I never have to regret not sayin’ it, again.”

Sam’s brows narrowed a little bit and he leaned back a few inches, “What do you mean  _he_ never mentioned me?  **You**  told me how he felt,” Sam frowned, “And you really need to stop with the third person bullshit,  _you are him and he is you_.”

“No, but, he never said anythin’ to you, about his feelin’s,” Alorest smirked, ignoring Sam’s following comment, “He never told you how he felt.”

“You just did, it’s the same thing,” Sam’s face softened, “When are you gonna see that?”

Alorest frowned, suddenly looking confused, “Sam… I’m  **not**  Dean.” He felt like a broken record with this already. How could his brother not understand? _His-bro…_  The demon looked away from **Sam Winchester** , “I’m not Dean, okay? When are  **you**  gonna see  **that**?”

“I see it just fine,” Sam pulled away and sat at the edge of the bed, “Apparently you don’t though. I get that you’re different I do, but what you don’t see is how you’re like one half of a whole. Dean’s in there too and you can’t tell me he’s not.” The younger Winchester sat with his back towards the demon.

“Sam, I…” Alorest’s brows scrunched up as he moved over the sheets, reaching out tentatively to touch the younger Winchester’s shoulder, “Don’t do this to me, Sam. Don’t you do this, please.” He felt his chest tightening, filling him with this bruised, punched twist in his gut.

Sam tilted his head to the side at the touch, as much as he wanted to be mad at Alorest, he couldn’t because he cared for him **just as much** , “You can’t even acknowledge that he’s a part of you! I see it in the little things you do, I’m not blind; but if you’re gonna treat me like I am, like I’m not supposed to see Dean in you then don’t talk about him anymore, ‘cause I don’t wanna hear it.”

The morning’s mood had definitely changed fast, and Alorest pulled back, feeling a slight, uncomfortable bristle at Sam’s words. He climbed from the bed, avoiding the larger man all-together and set about putting his clothes on. He wasn’t sure how to take what Sam was saying, though he and Dean were different, they’d still once been the same man; but things changed. He  **wasn’t**  Dean anymore, he was far too corrupt, far too comfortable with killing things, far to  _ruined_  to even be on the same level as Dean Winchester; that man at least had respect for himself.

Sam turned slightly on the bed, already feeling guilty, “Listen, I’m sorry it’s just-,” Sam grimaced, “I hate feelin’ like you’re pullin’ me in two different directions. I know you don’t see it, but sometimes you act  **just like him**.”

To Alorest, what the younger Winchester had said was actually an insult; to Dean’s memory. That consideration, even for a moment, even  _once_ , that he was anything like Sam’s brother. The thought that he’d ever once been that man, it was like comparing himself to a higher being; it  **was**  comparing him to a higher being. “Can you stop?” He asked, voice suddenly violent, and the light above them, though not on, exploded. His eyes flashed black as he looked up from grabbing his shirt, lips in a still, angered line as he stared at Sam, “Stop sayin’ things like that, stop it, okay? I can’t… I can’t be him. I’m  **not**  him. He would never’ve…”

Sam grabbed his pants up from the floor and slid them on in one quick movement, his heart willing his body to move instead of his mind. He had every reason to be terrified of the demon, but he wasn’t. Within a few strides, Sam was standing directly in front of the demon, staring into those big black orbs, “He would’ve never  _what_?” Sam’s tone was anything but harsh, simply curious.

“The thin’s I’ve done,” Alorest started, “Sam, you have no idea. You have no idea how much blood is on my hands. An’ that hunter. I didn’t even think, I didn’t care, didn’t even consider it. That’s not him, that’s not Dean. He wouldn’t do that.”

“But you did what you had to do, right?” Sam shrugged like it was no big deal, “You did what you had to do to get back to me.”

The demon shook his head, “Once you change, once you become  _this_ ,” He motioned to himself, “You don’t have to do anythin’ after that, if you don’t want. But I never stopped. I have my own reasons, my own justifications as to why I continued; to get to you, to come back up, to convince the other demons that I was one of them… But Dean…”

Sam put his hand on the demon’s jaw and shook his head, “ _Alorest_ ,” It felt wrong on his lips and it was the first time he’d ever actually called  **Dean**  by his demon name. “It’s not like you’re doin’ it anymore, I mean aside from a few demon’s here and there,” Sam’s bottom lip trembled a little, he didn’t intend on reminding the demon of Hell, Sam didn’t want that, “I’m sorry.”

Alorest’s brows tightened at the name, hearing it on Sam’s lips, and it sounded horrible. He wanted to tell Sam not to say it, but requesting that felt wrong, considering he was already trying to convince Sam that he  **wasn’t**  Dean. It was just that he’d only ever heard the demon’s call him by that name, really, and hearing it from Sam… It felt like it was cementing something uncomfortable into place.

He decided to stick with the part of the conversation he could argue safely, “Hell’s not gonna go away, Sam. It’s been the biggest part of my life. Dean wasn’t even around for thirty years before it. That’s less than a sixth of my life, it’s nothin’. An’ I’ve spent mine torturin’ an’ slaughterin’ humans. Are you gonna try’n argue this?”

“No, it’s just-” Sam sighed loudly and slumped his shoulders, “I don’t wanna argue with you, I don’t like it.” The taller man swiped his thumb over the corner of his brother’s mouth, “Said I was sorry.” The guilt Sam was feeling was enough to make him feel nauseous, like a constant knot in his throat.

“I know it’s hard,” The demon started, blinking at the sudden pain inside of him and his eyes became completely black again, “I know it’s hard to take me the way I am. I know it’s hard to settle for somethin’ so broken. But I…”  _I held onto all of him that I could_ , Alorest wanted to say. Dean had always heard those terms growing up,  **damaged goods** , he’d always thought that was what he was. If he could see Alorest now, the ripped, shredded tatters of his soul being clutched onto, by a demon that  _somewhat_  resembled him, sometimes… It would probably make the hunter sick, to see what he’d become.

But Alorest couldn’t help it. He  had two purposes in his life, and neither of them allowed him to pause, or hide, or wait, or give up; that was unacceptable. He felt the tears on his cheeks long after they’d reached his chin, “I’m doin’ what I can, I’m just not  **him** , Sammy, I’m just not him…”

Sam pulled the demon to him by the back of his neck, wrapping his arms tight around him as he buried his face into the demon’s neck, “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I’ve been such a jackass.”

He ran his hand over the back of his brother’s hair, “I love you anyway, you need to know that,” Sam closed his eyes and kissed the side of his brother’s face, “If you’re broken, If that’s how you really feel,” The taller man pulled back and looked directly into the black eyes in front of him, “Then let me be the one to hold you together, just let me do that for you.”

Alorest dropped his head, breathing in shudders of cold ice, “You can’t call me by his name, you  **can’t**. You can’t keep sayin’ I’m him, cuz I’m not. Please, you… You have to understand that. You have to know that I’m ‘ _Alorest_ ’, now.”

Sam nodded into the demon’s neck, “Okay,” His voice shook a little, “I’ll try harder.”

He wasn’t one hundred percent sure where his love for the demon came from. Mostly he knew it stemmed from Dean, but there was more to the demon than Dean ever had to offer; not saying Dean wasn’t pretty great, because he was. It’s just that with Alorest, there was always an open honesty; he told Sam what he needed to hear even if Sam didn’t want to listen. So, it’s not just that Sam absolutely adores the demon, but he respects him.

Sam knows the want for Dean to be back fully will never fade, but he also understands that he just  _needs_  to be happy with whatever he gets and if a broken shell of a demon that used to be his brother falls into that category, then so be it.


	9. Chapter 7

The Impala sat on a long outstretch of road, her hood up and the front, driver’s side door open to fill the forest around them with the striking hair music of Metallica. Alorest stood, body slung over the engine of her, working the insides as he’d done time and time again as Dean. It brought back memories, some he didn’t want to think of, others that he was far _too_ fond of.

He whittled her to form again and, though being a demon gave him the lack of feeling exhausted, his human body was sweating well enough to make up for the absence of muscle ache within his forearms, something he was accustomed to in the short span of his human life. He'd been at the front of her long enough, even now, he was still expecting that ache to suddenly arise.

This was a sight Sam missed; his brother all sweaty with grease on his hands, slumped over the engine, putting in actual work. The younger Winchester had grabbed two beers from the cooler in the trunk, and he offered Alorest one as he pressed his hip up against the front of the car where the demon was working, "Take a break." Sam knew demon's didn't get tired, but he tried anyways.

“M’fine,” Alorest responded, pulling back and taking the beer, “Thanks.” He sipped at it, wiping the sweat from his brow and smirking lazily. “You didn’t take much care of her, like Dean thought you would,” He chuckled, tucking the beer against the corner of the hood to keep it up, before he returned to his ministrations.

Sam's smile slid into a tight line at the mention of his brother's name, "I know you are, I was just sayin'," Sam looked away and took a drink of his beer, "He knew I wasn't any good at fixin' things, regardless if he tried showin' me once or twice."

The demon glanced at Sam, brow raising at the tone and he stood from the hood again, reaching out and touching Sam’s jaw line to make the younger Winchester look at him, “You know, I could always teach you a thin’ or two ‘bout it.”

Sam smiled at the touch, "If he couldn't teach me, I doubt you could." He was just being honest with himself, he had always been the books and brains, while Dean was the brawn and handy one.

Alorest chuckled, leaning in and pressing his lips to Sam’s in a soft, tentative, almost shy whisper of skin as he smiled, “You should give me more credit.”

"I bet you a blowjob that, if you explain to me what a piston does, I won't remember by the time we get back to the hotel," Sam smiled back and glanced at the demon's lips.

Alorest, though surprised by the comment, was unable to resist licking his lips and responding, “I don’t thin'a blow job is what you wanna be bettin’ with, ‘cause either way, that’s a **win** scenario.”

Sam snickered and took another swig of his beer, sighing as the cold smooth liquid coated his throat, "Maybe it'd be motive for me to want to remember."

The demon reached out, taking Sam’s beer and drawing from it, a sip of his own, eyes flicking black as he opened them, removing the bottle from his lips and staring at Sam heatedly as he did so.

Sam took the beer back as he bit his bottom lip and shook his head slightly, " _Tease_." The younger Winchester could feel his cock filling, that dull, uncomfortable, yet almost pleasurable ache.

Alorest grinned wide enough, showing teeth as he turned back to the car, bending over the heat of her as he finished up the tightening of her joints, “Well, I gotta get my rocks off some how, don’t I? An’ you have some... Interestin’ fetishes, Sammy boy.”

Sam sat his beer down next to Alorest's and moved to stand behind him. The younger Winchester placed one hand on the demon's hip as he put the other on the front of the car, bringing his body flush against Alorest's back. "Do not," Sam retorted just for shits and giggles; he wasn't stupid, he knew some pretty odd stuff got him hard.

“That’s a lie, an’ you know it,” The demon responded, hips pushing back gently against Sam’s and he felt that stir in his body, the need for the younger Winchester as he tried to finish up his work on the Impala.

"How would you know?" Sam smiled against the skin under Alorest's ear, knowing full well that the demon always knew when he was lying. It's not like Sam ever vocalized what turned him on.

“I know two already,” Alorest said, turning as his stubble brushed against Sam’s cheek, “The blood an’ the eyes. I’m sure there are more you been keepin’ to yourself.”

"I think you're delusional," Sam nipped at his neck, grinning slightly, because the demon was right. The younger Winchester couldn't find it in himself to care that what turned him on would normally scare someone else in the other direction entirely.

Alorest let out a soft, shaky breath as his head laid back against Sam’s shoulder, eyelids closing in pleasure and he moaned, hand dropping the wrench he’d been holding as he fisted the larger man’s hair.

"Damn, you're easy," The younger Winchester peppered kisses from beneath Alorest's ear, back down to his neck and bit down hard, breaking the skin a little bit.

Sam twirled his tongue around the bite, barely moaning when he connected his mouth fully. He dropped his hand from the front of the car and slid his fingers up underneath the front of Alorest's shirt, grazing the skin softly before he licked any remaining crimson from around the bite. It wasn't exactly as much blood as he usually took, but this wasn't really about making him stronger; this was about **want**. Sam chuckled lowly against the skin before he backed away and picked his beer back up, grinning slyly at Alorest.

The demon’s mind whirled in lust, eyes black as night as he stared at Sam, and though he didn’t need to breathe at all, his chest was rising and falling out of the bodily reflex. Some times this relationship with the younger Winchester was completely outstanding, and he had to take a step back and look at it.

This was one of those moments, where his eyes wandered Sam’s body, and didn’t quite understand how he’d got here, how he deserved this.

They’d only really been intimate once, but even that was more than he’d ever expected. It’d been so soft, so gentle before. Alorest hated to admit it, but he had this dull ache inside of him, some part that wanted Sam to be rough with him. He knew the younger Winchester wanted it too, it was clear enough, Sam gave off that _vibe_. Some times he gave subtle hints of it, but not nearly subtle enough for Alorest. And those arms...

Sam brought the bottle to his mouth and gestured to the ground, "Dropped your wrench." If it wasn't for the fact that they were out in the open (sort of), Sam probably would've just bent the demon over in front of the car and took what he wanted. The younger Winchester had patience, even though his second brain was practically screaming at him to do something.

Alorest looked down, turning his back to Sam as he bent over to pick it up. He wasn’t use to this ‘teasing’ thing that Sam seemed to be fond of, grabbing the beer had  been more of a mocking tease, not so much the kind of sex-based flirting of the larger man, but he could give it enough of an attempt. The younger Winchester seemed to be trying to one-up him, so he took his time picking back up the wrench from the asphalt.

Sam rolled his eyes, but appreciated the view regardless, "Anyone ever tell you that you got a nice ass?" The younger Winchester used his free hand to adjust his cock, because the denim felt a little too restricting.

The demon chuckled, turning back around and looking at Sam before he returned to the Impala, “You have no idea,” He said, smirking to himself as he finished up.

"I believe it," Sam crossed his legs as he propped himself on the edge of the car, his eyes still raking over the demon. It wasn't the first time Sam had ever been turned on, but when it came to Alorest, things were usually a little harder to will away than what they would've been with someone else.

Alorest closed the hood finally, wiping the sweat from his forehead again as he took up the rag from his back pocket, cleaning his hands off the best he could as he leaned back against the car, beside the younger Winchester, and sighed, “She’ll feel like a dream now,” He said, voice rough and low as he smiled.

Sam almost choked on his beer at his own thought. _You feel like a dream_. It was starting to get a little out of hand, he knew he needed to think of something else. _Dead kittens, mold, smelly dead bodies_. The younger Winchester just nodded, knowing that, if he spoke, his voice would probably be uneven.

The demon threw Sam a suggestive look, his right brow rising as he pushed off of the side of the car and took up the cooler mindlessly, “What’s say we pack an’ hit the road, yeah?”

"Readin' my mind," The younger Winchester sauntered to the passenger's side door while gazing at Alorest, his mind settling in a dirtier place. Sometimes he thought it'd almost be easier if the demon **could** read his mind.

Alorest packed the cooler in the back of the car, behind his seat, folding his tools up and putting them in the trunk before he climbed into her driver’s side and started the Impala up, smirking at the growl of appreciation he got from the car, “That’s more like it,” He said, one hand smoothing over her steering wheel as he closed his door and pulled off the side of the road.

Sam reached over and flattened his palm on the inner side of the demon's thigh as the wind blew in from the windows, making him shiver as it cooled the sweat on his back. The younger Winchester smirked at the tiny smudge of grease beneath Alorest's right eye, somehow making the demon more attractive than he already was (and that was something Sam thought to be impossible).

Sam licked his lips, moved his palm up, and closed his hand around the outline of Alorest's cock.

The demon looked down, eyes widening slightly as he glanced at the younger Winchester’s hand. He had a general idea of just how _hungry_ Sam was, that look in his gaze, pressing him into the Impala, but this was something else. Christ, just the **thought** of it was making him hard.

Sam turned and hooked his left arm behind the driver's seat, leaning in to press his lips, a little softer than normal, to Alorest's neck. The younger Winchester's right hand was still groping, squeezing and pulling on the denim separating his hand with the demon's erection. Sam's voice was breathy and low against Alorest's ear, "You want it?" He ran the tip of his tongue along the stubble on the demon's jaw.

Alorest’s hips moved, pressing into Sam’s hand, and he looked at the larger man, “In the car?” He asked, eyes turning solid black as he felt the heat pooling between his legs, the need to have his brother’s hand on him, “I’d be a fuckin’ moron to say ‘no’.”

Sam grinned before he leaned over the demon's lap and began working on the buttons of the jeans, he brought his mouth closer and took the zipper between his teeth and pulled it down. Sam gave the demon a quick glance before he reached in and freed Alorest's straining cock; light pink head, hard and throbbing in his hand. The younger Winchester tightened his hand around the base of the shaft and flicked his tongue at the tip experimentally before wrapping his lips wholly around the head.

“Holy,” Alorest shifted in his seat, head hitting it as he moaned and wrapped his arm over the back of Sam’s neck, fingers in his brother’s hair as he gasped, “Fuck, Sammy.” He was somewhat taken aback by his brother, feeling the heat engulf him was overwhelming and he, though Dean clearly wasn’t new to **this** treatment, it was still very, very new to him. And, even with Dean’s expertise, it’d been **years** , _literally_.

Sam moaned on the cock before he set out a steady rhythm with his hand, working in turn with his mouth. The salty tang of pre-come settling on the back of his tongue made him work that much harder for the final result. Sam tightened his grip and hollowed his cheeks as he sucked with more fervor than he had intended, feeling his own dick twitch from the excitement.

The demon moaned, hips shifting, reclining his seat to make more space for the larger man’s shoulders and his fingers tightened in Sam’s hair. “Goddamn, Sammy,” He panted, lips in the shape of an ‘o’ as he tried to control his breathing, occasionally glancing down from the road, just to see his brother, to get a clear enough image he could burn into his mind.

In between a few good drags with his hand, Sam would twirl his tongue around the tip of the cock, then flatten it and add pressure to the nerves just beneath the head. The sounds coming out of the demon's mouth were making Sam harder, noises he wanted to be reserved for his ears only. The younger Winchester took a deep breath and shoved his mouth down on the shaft as far as he could and stayed there for a second before gagging. He pulled back up, grazing his teeth gently on the head.

Alorest bucked his hips, seeing white before his eyes, he was getting painfully close, he could **feel** it, his body hungered for more and he pulled over, settling in park as he yanked Sam’s face up to him, pressing their lips together, tasting himself on his brother’s lips and growling into Sam’s mouth as he did so.

Sam's tongue lashed out against Alorest's bottom lip as he moaned into his mouth, "Just gotta touch me, huh?" The younger Winchester kept his right hand on the demon's shaft, pulled up and twisted around the tip.

“Too much of a good thin’ some times,” The demon breathed, snatching Sam’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucking as hard as he could, nearly choking on a gasp. “Close,” He said, dropping his head back again.

Sam closed his lips around Alorest's adam's apple while he continued to pump his cock, he lingered a moment before dropping his mouth directly back onto it. The younger Winchester glanced up at the demon with his lips pressed firmly against the silky slit on the tip.

"Come for me," Sam took back to it, working his mouth in earnest as he reached down and cupped Alorest's balls.

The demon gasped, biting his bottom lip as he grabbed onto Sam’s hair so tight that it was bound to be yanking some loose, hips jerking as he held the younger Winchester down on his cock, and he came. His voice was rough, fevered, almost violent as his brother’s name spilled out, mirroring the globs of pearl white filling Sam’s mouth.

Sam tasted the warm liquid on his tongue and he moaned as he swallowed every bit, when he pulled off, he put his mouth directly back onto Alorest's and smiled as he stole a soft kiss, "My name sounds good on your lips."

Alorest’s face heated at once and he grabbed the back of Sam’s neck, pulling him into a heated, breathy kiss and tasting himself inside of there. He groaned in appreciation and smirked against Sam's mouth.

"Didn't know demon's could blush," Sam planted one last chaste kiss on Alorest's lips then a few around his face before he pulled back and sat slouched in his seat. The younger Winchester adjusted himself a second time, then grinned cheekily at the demon as he licked his lips. Sam was content, got what he wanted.  
  
“Goddamn,” Alorest breathed, eyes as black as coal and he leaned across and licked the sweat from Sam’s jaw line. He felt completely unstable, like he couldn’t control his body, like he’d shake his bolts loose if he strained himself too much. The demon dropped his head back and breathed, smirking, “Thanks.”

Sam grinned, completely and undeniably content, "Don't mention it," He shrugged nonchalantly, staring at the demon's eyes. Those black pools of ink consuming his thoughts. As much as he loved his brother's green eyes, something about the demon's eyes was completely unnerving and yet it drew him to Alorest like a moth to a flame.

* * *

They’d been on the road for nearly two days and Alorest was beginning to get impatient. He knew Lilith was closing in, and it was only a matter of time before she found them. What was going to come wasn’t bound to be easy, by any means, but he was ready for it. Sam was, as well, and Alorest did his best to make sure that the younger Winchester would be at prime level before the higher demon finally made her appearance. He had anticipated that the moment he dropped his guard, she’d be on them faster than blinking, he just hadn’t realized how simple that would **actually** be, to find him unaware.

It was early in the morning and he pulled the Impala into a small diner off the interstate, just a hair’s breath from Michigan. The demon turned to Sam as he shut the car off, eying the laptop between them, “If we move fast enough, we can be on this case by mid-afternoon, set up at a motel just before then and get you some more juice, you think you can wait an hour or two?”

Sam was fidgeting a little, bouncing his knees nervously. The steady stream of blood he'd been pulling from the demon was constant now and if Sam didn't get it about two to three times a day, around the same time, it was like he couldn't sit still.

He glanced at the demon and wanted to say no, but he nodded his head slowly instead, "I can try." That's all he could really offer, especially when he could feel the want crawling under his skin. From what Alorest had been telling him, he knew it wouldn't be long before Lilith closed in on them, but the way the demon kept a look out, it was like he expected it at any moment.

Alorest’s stare lingered and he climbed from the car, closing the door and glancing hither and thither, he didn’t like the twist of instinct he got, but the diner couldn’t be avoided. Sam hadn’t eaten since last night and the demon wanted to keep him above a hundred percent; at **least**. But just looking around, he already felt the weight of something else, something dangerous.

He ignored it for the moment, it wasn’t known for a demon to get paranoid, perhaps it was a part of Dean still hanging onto him, a reminder of what it use to be like, running from these things. He was being overcautious.

“Let’s just get done here and move out,” Alorest pocketed his keys and walked into the diner, holding the door open with his foot.

Sam followed suit, his line of sight trying to follow Alorest's anytime he'd look off in a direction like something was coming.

They'd walked pretty much arm to arm until they were seated at a booth. Sam tried to keep the twitching and jitteriness to a minimum, not exactly wanting to come off as a crack head to the other people in the diner.

He propped his elbows on the table as he cradled his head in his hands, sighing, "I don't know if I can wait for another two hours, man."

“You might not have to,” Alorest said and stood as the waitress came up to them.  
She was young, smiling cheerfully for just a moment, the expression changing quickly to shock as he grabbed her neck and twisted it. The sickening buckle and break didn’t even startle him or stop him as he observed the reactions from others.

Despite trying to ignore his worries and hoping for a smooth morning, it didn’t seem like that was going to happen. He was positive now that something was on it’s way for them, and Sam wasn’t even close to being ready. Whether he was acting out of complete paranoia now or not, he still wasn't sure, but it was better to be safe, than to be sorry.

There were at least three lesser demons settled at this diner and, while it wasn’t abnormal to see one here or there, three was a significant number, and it made him uneasy.

“ _Regna terrae_ ,” Alorest started and saw them look at him with wide eyes, each set flicking to black as he continued the calm chant, “ _cantate Deo, psallite Domino, qui fertis super caelum, caeli ad Orientem. Ecce dabit voci Suae, vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem Deo_. _Exsisto in mihi!_ ”

Sam stood quickly, his heart pounding wildly in his chest as he watched Alorest kill the three demon's with ease, didn't even need his help.

"Shit," He muttered to himself, no wonder Alorest had been kind of distant and constantly looking around them. It made sense now, with Alorest being a demon, of **course** he knew something was coming. Sam could feel the panic start to settle in his chest, he wasn't anywhere near ready for this.

Alorest looked up to the roof of the diner, it’s occupants that were human running outside, screaming and panicking. He couldn’t really tell if it was himself causing the flickers through the lights, or something _else_.

“Move,” He said, voice shaking with obvious concern and he stepped over the girl’s body, grabbing Sam’s arm, eyes wide and pitch black as he dragged the younger Winchester through the diner, “We gotta move now.”

Sam nodded hastily, his eyes darted to the forceful hand on his arm, then back to the demon's eyes as he followed.

After the bathroom door closed, Sam adjusted them so that he was the one with the hold on Alorest and not the other way around. He pulled the demon into the first stall, shut the door and took his knife out as he shoved Alorest against the wall, "How much time do you think we have?"

“A minute or two, maybe less,” Alorest swallowed as he turned his head to the side, “I’m not sure though. Somethin’s out there, an’ it’s–” He stopped as the lights of the bathroom went out, “Just do it, fast. There’s no time.” His hand settled on Sam’s waist, squeezing the denim and fingers clawing at the belt as he breathed; the simple human habit coming out, even though he didn’t need to.

"Okay," Sam pressed his body to the demon's, already practically hard from just the thought of it. It would have to wait, he **could** wait.

Sam flipped his knife open and wasted no time to pull it across the soft flesh on Alorest's neck, just like so many times before, but a little rushed, and not quite as clean of a cut.

He moaned instinctively when he wrapped his lips around the opening, sucking and pushing his hips forward as he did so. It wasn't his fault the demon blood did this to him, or was it just the demon that got him so worked up? Either way, _not the time._ Sam dug his teeth into the skin around the cut to draw it out faster, his tongue pressed against it gently as he finished up and pulled away.

Alorest shuddered as he stared up at the taller man, eyes widening as he struggled against himself and straightened up, “That’s going to have to do, I hope it’s enough.”

He pushed his hand out, forcing the stall door from it’s hinges as he guided Sam through the dark. He wasn’t sure if the younger Winchester could see or not in there, but he brought them back out into the diner and paused, walking to the window and frowning.

Bodies littered the street outside, the humans that had vacated before, now dead and bled out, spread from one window to the other on the far side.

Alorest couldn’t find the care he knew Dean would’ve felt, the loss of lives that didn’t deserve it, but he noted that they weren’t far from where they’d been when he’d taken Dean’s brother’s arm. Which meant that whatever was around here, whatever had killed them, it was fast.

“It’s still here,” He said softly to Sam.

Sam looked out the window and felt a twinge of regret, mainly for not being able to save those helpless people. The demon blood was pumping through his veins like fire now though, his breathing a little heavier and his senses more alert, "What exactly is _it_?" Sam rubbed the palm of his hand over his hard cock absentmindedly, if it came down to it, he'd blame it on the blood and adrenaline. Whatever it was, _who_ ever it was, it was closing in on them and **fast**.

Alorest grabbed the front of Sam’s jacket just as the windows shook and shattered violently inward. He felt the little pelts of glass hit his shirt, the tables upturning themselves and, if he didn’t move them, they were going to be hit by something. He stood though, spreading himself outwards, the force from the demons he’d consumed rocking the walls so suddenly that he heard cracks within them.

The demon stood outside, just within his periphery, waiting for them, and Alorest felt his knees nearly buckle as he saw the man standing there, the vessel of a hunter he’d slaughtered, sacrificed in Hell, to bring himself up. Dead, and down there, but clearly not anymore.

“Ross Hart,” He managed between his numb lips.

Sam's eyes turned to Alorest's, he raised a quizzical brow, "Bad news?" Just going strictly by Alorest's tone of voice, he should already know the answer to that question. Sam felt protective though and damn near invincible with the demon blood coursing through him, he stepped forward defensively almost in front of the demon. It wasn't like Alorest was completely helpless, but Sam couldn't help it.

“This was the hunter I sacrificed, to be brought up to Earth,” Alorest whispered to Dean’s brother. Just thinking of what he’s said, remembering those words, they haunted him.

_What you’ve done, what you do today, disgraces everything your father was known for, Dean Winchester. He’s ashamed, and so would your brother be._

Alorest’s palm settled on Sam’s lower back, “He’s here for revenge, Sam. Don’t–”

“Are you going to come out here and face me, _Dean Winchester_?” The demon shouted from outside, “Or are you so **spineless** that you can’t even face me anymore?”

Alorest swallowed. How had he lived? Was it the same as when Azazel had died, and went to that place, the one he’d vaguely heard of; _Purgatory_. There was no way he could’ve gotten so strong, so fast.

Sam could understand why the jerk wanted revenge, Dean... or _Alorest_ rather, had practically shred him to pieces just to get back up here among the living. Things were different between him and Alorest now though, they were closer and Sam had never felt stronger. There was no way in **Hell** he was going to let the demon fight this guy without his help, he'd do it all if Alorest would let him.

"I should do this," Sam insisted as he met Alorest's eyes. He wasn't going to let this _Ross guy_ take away what ever semblance of a brother he had left, not when things were getting better, he wouldn't stand for it.

Alorest blinked and started to argue, “Sam, don’t–” He stopped at the serious stare from the younger Winchester. It was his duty, it was his job, his only reason for existing, to protect Sam, to make sure he was safe, but the parts inside of him, the lingering flecks of Dean Winchester reminded him that Sam wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer; he was too stubborn for that.

The demon nodded, “Alright,” He stared up at the taller man, trying to convey a sense of worry and protection, while letting Sam know, in the silence, that he’d fucking break Ross Hart like a coconut if it went too far.

“So you’re letting your little brother do your dirty work?” The weathered hunter, gone rogue, barked a laugh as he put up his hands to Sam in a come hither motion, “I knew you were low, Dean, I just didn’t think you were low enough for _this_.”

Sam went for the door, down the steps and stood a hefty twenty feet from Ross. He could feel his own power in his bones, knew that he'd have to go deeper, tap into a place he hadn't reached before. Moments like this are what Alorest trained him for right? If he couldn't take out this guy, how was he supposed to help with Lilith or Alistair?

He smirked menacingly at Ross and snorted, "I wouldn't really call it dirty work If I'm going to enjoy myself."

Sam straightened his back a little and rolled his head side to side, prepared for what was coming. He knew what he was normally capable of, which was usually pretty impressive. He was dying, however, to see how much he'd improved with all the demon blood in him.

Alorest followed Dean’s younger brother outside, eyes following him and flicking to meet Ross’s as he stood by the broken out doorway.

Ross Hart didn’t seem much different from how he’d been in Hell, still the stubborn look and appearance that reminded Alorest of Dean; a hunter with great potential. But Ross wasn’t that **actual** man anymore. Alorest knew, from personal experience, that once you break, you just don’t go back.

The **real** Ross Hart would’ve been just as Dean would’ve, embarrassed, angered, disgusted at what his self had become. He’d been so much like Dean that it was impossible to see Ross thinking differently, but was the demon remorseful at all? All he had left for his soul was revenge, not like Alorest, who watched Dean’s younger brother with both pride and concern.

The demon sized Sam up, and Alorest felt the hairs on the back of his neck bristle at that look, the cold calculation before he moved, fast, sharp strength rushing at Sam and Alorest had to fight himself, keep his feet planted so as not to protect his brother.

Sam took a deep breath through his nose as he moved, dodging the demon's body as his fist flew out to connect with the demon's jaw, sending him to the ground. Just one hit and Sam was positive that he'd hit him so hard that he broke one of his own knuckles. There was no time to think about the pain though.

He moved and towered over the demon, he grimaced and held his hand out. He had to focus on the actual task of pulling the demon from the body, if that was at all possible, if not then the vessel and all would die. Sam grimaced as he visualized it, the power igniting in his bones making him feel like a God.

Alorest raised a brow in surprise and smirked, watching his brother as his chest swelled with pride. There was nothing quite like it, and he could remember Dean’s distant feelings of adoration when his little brother had accomplished things before, it wasn’t an often felt emotion, but he enjoyed it for the moment.

Ross’s body shuddered in surprise, the black smoke spilling from his mouth as he tried to fight it back in.

"I don't fuckin' think so," Sam's glare turned downright deadly as he focused harder, turning his hand slightly as a little blood trickled from his nose. Tapping into this kind of power was almost like grabbing an electric fence and holding on for the ride, except for the part where it didn't kill Sam. He remembered a few times in the past when it'd came close, when he'd over exerted himself. The blood in him was a power to be reckoned with though and it was like it begged to be used, to **kill** and that was exactly what he'd planned on doing with it.

The vessel of Ross Hart went completely limp, black smoke billowing out and Alorest moved, touching Sam’s back to calm his brother down.

He turned the larger man’s face, thumbing the blood away from Sam's nose and looking at his hand for a moment before Alorest turned and threw out his open palm, fingers curling towards the energy above the hunter’s body, “ _Exsisto in mihi_.”


	10. Chapter 8

Sam put his hand on Alorest's shoulder, his entire body felt a little weak, but it happened just about anytime he did this type of thing. His breathing was still rapid and his heart was thrumming too fast, adrenaline coursing through him like venom. He tried anchoring himself to Alorest to calm himself down, tried focusing on the curve of his jaw and how it looked like each freckle was hand painted on. It was calming him down, but only enough to remind him of the need he felt for the demon.

Alorest’s eyes met Sam’s, heated and solid black as he breathed, and he turned back to look at the torn open, broken down diner, “I don’t think you’re gonna be able to have breakfast, after all.”

"I'm _hungry_ ," Sam's eyes raked Alorest's body as he licked his bottom lip, moving closer to the demon, " _Not for food though_." It was insane and probably wrong in fifty million different ways, bodies strewn everywhere, but god damn it Sam wanted nothing more than to bend Alorest over the hood of the Impala.

The demon felt the stare before he turned, and he practically gravitated closer to Sam, the lust from inside of the diner, in the bathroom stall, coming back to him and almost knocking him breathless.

“Sam,” He started, lips parting as he reached up, fingers like claws as they curled into the long, soft hair on the back of the younger Winchester’s neck.

Sam didn't speak, he just wrapped one hand around the front of Alorest's neck and squeezed lightly, pressing his lips to the demon's so hard he could taste the warm copper. His tongue trailed along Alorest's lips before he pulled away, practically growling as he put his hands on the demon's back and urged him towards the Impala. Sam wanted him, needed him **now**. The uncomfortable ache of his straining cock against the denim of his jeans practically made him roll his eyes as he pawed at it, knowing that his adrenaline and love for the demon is what had him hard; not the blood. It was just them and whatever this fucked up thing between them was.

Alorest groaned in surprise, lust pooling inside of him as his freehand grabbed Sam’s belt, unhooking the buckle and nearly ripping it open to get at the button of the younger Winchester’s pants. His breaths came out in sudden, sharp little gasps as he arched, hips rocking into Sam’s and he took his brother’s bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it so hard that he was almost concerned about breaking skin. He was already shaking in excitement, Sam's insistent dominance  rising feelings inside of him, forgotten longings that he some times ignored, and it spurred him forward, shifting their bodies against one another as he smirked.

Sam clenched his jaw and rolled his hips in unison with Alorest's, rocking the demon into the Impala roughly. His hands fumbling quickly to undo Alorest's jeans, " _Fuck_ ," Sam gritted out, his eyes locking with the demon's, "You trust me right? I know you do." Sam's voice was gravelly and straight sex as he dropped to his knees and pulled the other man's pants and boxer briefs down to his knees, licking his lips at the sight before him as he drew his knife out again.

The demon’s eyes darkened and his legs shook at the look on his brother’s face, he nodded though, slowly running his thumb along Sam’s jaw, “‘Course I do, Sam,” He breathed. Even though his heart spiked up in beats, one hand moving back to clasp onto the hood, in case his legs became jelly.

“I trust you,” He reaffirmed.

Sam grinned up at Alorest before he flipped the knife open, rising more on his knees as he leaned towards the demon's body. His lips ghosted over the jut on Alorest's hip briefly before he kissed the skin, hard hazel eyes still trained on Alorest's. He licked a strip with his tongue from Alorest's hip to the base of his cock before he wrapped his hand around the shaft.

The younger Winchester brought the knife up and pressed it to the tender skin on the demon's hip, he made sure to watch Alorest's face to make sure he wasn't hurting him too much as he pressed the blade in and pulled down. Sam bit his bottom lip as he watched the crimson dribble down the pale ivory skin, he tugged at Alorest's dick a few times then leaned in and lapped up the gist of the blood with the tip of his tongue, humming in approval as he did so.

Alorest watched his brother, insides burning with need as his cock throbbed and he fisted the back of Sam’s hair, baring his teeth, clenched tight as he groaned. It was surprising, how much more patient Sam apparently was, Alorest was almost glaring at it, keeping himself down; but the wait would be worth it.

“Sam,” He breathed more than said, empty eyes observing the display before him with morbid fascination.

Sam flipped the knife shut and rose slowly against Alorest's body. There was still a little blood smeared on his lips as he leaned in, eyes flickering to Alorest's perfectly pouty mouth, "Want you so fuckin' bad," Sam practically whined as he lowered his pants and boxers in front of the other man, his hand idly running over the head of his cock before both of them finally settled on Alorest's hips. Sam turned him around swiftly and pressed his bare skin against the demon. He nosed at Alorest's neck and smirked a little, "Hands on the hood, and don't move."

The demon shook at the words and he moaned, dropping both palms to the Impala as he arched into Sam’s lips, turning his head slightly.

“Anythin’,” He said, nearly choking on the words and he couldn’t think anymore, the urgency within him was too much. He forced himself still, looking down at the shiny black top of Dean’s car, trying to remain calm.

Sam leaned forward and peppered rough kisses along Alorest's spine, stopping at the small of the demon's back to bite gently at the swell of his ass, "How much pain do you think you can take?" Sam's big hands grabbed both ass cheeks and spread the demon open before he leaned down and licked him from his balls up to his tight little hole, swirling his tongue around the entrance. His own cock throbbed with anticipation of finally being inside of Alorest, he was starting to feel slightly impatient.

“I think,” Alorest panted as he dropped from his hands to his forearms, “I think, I don’t feel pain, so just fuck me already, Sam.” His teeth were pressed so tight together that he feared they might break, that he might crack something, and his legs trembled at the muscle pressed against him. It was almost nauseating, how amazing it felt, something he wasn’t use to, something so alien; but it stirred awe, considering he was allowed to have it.

"On second thought, turn around," Sam nudged at his hips until Alorest was facing him, bodies flush together as Sam grabbed the demon's thighs and lifted him up on the hood, "Wanna be able to see you." Sam stood between Alorest's legs and shivered as he felt a few raindrops hit his skin, he grinned and pulled his shirt off in one swift motion, then did the same with the demon's.

Sam splayed his hand across Alorest's chest and pushed him back against the hood as he settled more between his hips. He spit in his hand and ran his fingers along his length, he wasn't going to waste the time prepping Alorest and opening him up nice and slow if he insisted he could take it. Sam closed his eyes and sighed at the sensation before he pressed the tip of his cock at Alorest's tight little hole, pressing slowly, waiting for his brother's body to give way to him.

The demon arched his back against the hood of the car, his calves dangling over Sam’s shoulders and he blinked when two sudden rain drops landed on him, one on his cheek and one on his forehead. He looked up to the sky, to the darkened clouds above before he reached out, fingers touching Sam’s hand in reassurance. “Please, Sam,” He said, wetting his lips again as his eyes met the larger man's, “Want you, Sammy.”

Sam groaned as he pushed in all the way, skin tugging a little, but a bit of pain was never a bad thing in Sam's book. He didn't wait before he pulled out almost all the way again then thrust in, harder. Sam ran his hands along Alorest's thighs, groping and squeezing periodically as he fucked into him with fervor, the car almost rocking with the force of it.

The rain was coming down regularly now, cold against his hot skin, goosebumps everywhere. It was frantic, hot, needy and more desperate than they'd ever been for it. His brother's body so perfect beneath him in contrast to the black of the Impala.

Sam moaned loudly as he rolled his head back, letting the rain splash him in the face, "So fuckin' tight."

Alorest sat up slightly, hands scrabbling over the hood, searching for purchase as he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt the sharp little beads of rain hit his lips, his chest, dripping down his thighs and he reached forward, palming himself in slow, smooth strokes as his eyes opened once more. He stared up into the rain, body tingling with the sounds of his frame squeaking against the car, the shucking rock of her underneath him is Sam fucked into him.

It was intense, burning, trying, and he found words being spurred from inside of him, nonsensical at first, but slowly becoming more; ‘Sam’s and ‘pleases’, ‘goddamns'. Out of some small, variant part of him, the torn up tatters of Dean he caught within his fingers sometimes, his freehand let go of the hood of the car, reaching up to touch his left nipple and began mindlessly worrying it.

Sam's jaw was slack as he watched the man beneath him in awe, how it was possible for a man to look that damn good getting fucked on the hood of a car was beyond him. His brother's body was so hot, slick and tight around him, almost making it difficult to breathe; overwhelmingly good.

The younger Winchester bit his bottom lip as his hand slid up Alorest's torso, still warm but slick from the rain and stopped on his other nipple, to pinch and tease. Sam's hair was beginning to stick to his skin, it didn't bother him though, he kept slamming into the demon. It was hot, like, hotter than fucking necessary to watch Alorest jack himself off while Sam fucked him, "Jesus fuckin' christ, Dean."

His hips stuttered as soon as he realized he said his brother's name, it was an honest mistake. He'd been handling the situation better with each passing day, coping with the fact that it wasn't Dean anymore and then he goes and slips up. _Great_.

“Sammy,” _Dean_ said, gaze moving from the sky to look at his brother, green, glassy orbs staring into Sam’s as the loud, violent crack of thunder accompanied the younger Winchester’s thrusts and Dean shook with them, back arching, legs spreading as his brows notched together. He felt complete like this, welcome, home, at rest, which was something he'd been pulled so far from, that he had almost had to pause to recognize it again.

Sam bent over a little, slowing his thrusts, his own eyes blown wide as he looked down at his... **brother**.

He wasn't so much of an idiot that he couldn't tell Dean from Alorest, and the beautiful green eyed man looking up at him **was** Dean, without a doubt. Sam cupped Dean's cheek, unaware of how much time he'd have before Alorest took back over, not that it mattered... _much_ , "I miss you," Was all Sam could manage, voice broken as he fucked into his brother.

He was close, being able to have just a sliver of Dean like this, was more than he could of hoped for. In the back of his mind, he knew this would backfire on him later though, he knew Alorest would bring it up. And it wasn't like he didn't have feelings for Alorest, but how often did he even get a good solid glimpse of _Dean_? He didn't, so naturally he'd react this way.

“Miss you,” Dean breathed out, dropping his head back and smiling, “Goddamn, Sammy, wanted this so bad.” The older Winchester was practically shaking now, the hand on himself slowing to a crawl as he chuckled weakly, a heartbroken, shattered sound as he stared at Sam, “For so long.”

It was slipping, the grasp he had, the memories and self dripping back into the darkness of his mind, leaving Alorest trembling, almost sobbing beneath Sam. The thunder responded with him, his dull nails on his chest, digging into his skin as he came.

Sam could feel his lips tremble as he listened to his brother's words, reaffirming that it was, in fact, Dean. He was on the verge of complete fucking happiness, just from the few seconds he got. He came seconds after his brother, who he was certain was now Alorest again due to the black shading the green. Sam's vision whited out for a second or two, his skin tingling blissfully. He wanted to beg, ask Dean to stay with him just for a little while longer, but he was thankful for what he got.

Sam rested his hands on his brother's hips gently, he leaned downed and kissed _Alorest_ as he felt his heart drop to his stomach.

Alorest breathed, reaching out as if to grab for himself, “Dean,” He gasped, eyes stinging with tears, trying to blink the dampness from his lashes as he panted. He looked at Sam, his bottom lip shaking.

The demon sat up suddenly, pushing Dean's brother from him, “ _Get off of me_ ,” He shoved him until Alorest’s legs dropped off Sam’s shoulders and landed on the ground, pulling his entire body from the hood of the car, eyes wide, frame shaking as he took up his clothes.

Sam pulled his pants up in a rush, then grabbed his soaking shirt off the ground before moving back closer to Alorest, his brows furrowed slightly in confusion, "What's wrong?" Even though Sam had a pretty good idea, it felt right to ask anyway. He didn't expect Alorest to close off on him quite like this, just expected the whole ' _I'm not him_ ' lecture, which he now knew was partially true.

“ **Don’t** ,” Alorest shoved Sam away again as he stepped into his pants and backed out of the larger man’s reach, pulling his shirt on as he walked around to the driver’s side door, dirt between his toes and boots in his hands.

He climbed inside, soaked to the bone from the rain, shaking out of anger and pressing his fist to his mouth as he fought himself back, and waited for Dean’s younger brother to climb in as well.

Sam climbed in, eying Alorest silently until he couldn't take it anymore, "If you're pissed at me, then we need to talk it out or we're gonna be at each other's throats."

They'd gotten so close recently and to have Alorest completely shut him out kind of hurt more than he expected. If he was pissed over the whole Dean incident, that just seemed silly to Sam. Alorest knew that Sam had feelings for him too, not just Dean, so what was up his ass?

Alorest shook his head and started the car, bare foot pressing on the gas as he pulled back, switched to drive and brought the Impala onto the road once more. It was overwhelming, everything, to have lost that part of him again, to see Sam and how bad he clearly wanted Alorest to be something he **couldn’t** be.

It was like he was stuck between two things, and now... He was suddenly afraid, terrified even. If he **did** get Dean back, what would happen to _him_? Would he cease to exist? Quashed by what, then? Himself?

Sam snorted and looked at Alorest incredulously, "You're unbelievable, you know that?" Sam shifted back in his seat, trying to get comfortable, "You're giving me the silent treatment like I'm fuckin' twelve." Sam knew he was a grown-ass-man, he could handle a conversation of this magnitude. It was just that Alorest got under his skin, in both the best and worst ways possible.

“I’m giving you the silent treatment like **I don’t want to talk about it** , Sam,” Alorest said, voice clipped and accent clean from him, almost as if it’d never existed, a complete change from the drawl he’d gotten use to over the past few weeks. “ **I don’t**... _Want_. To talk about it, Sam.” His jaw pronounced as he clenched his teeth together and pressed on the gas more, knuckles turning white as he clutched the steering wheel.

"So you're just gonna shut me out, just like that?" Sam shrugged and grimaced at the demon's tone of voice. This was ridiculous. They needed to be able to talk this out, they **had** to. Sam **wanted** this to work, despite whatever Alorest thought.  
  
Alorest stopped the car so suddenly, so fast that it almost gave them whiplash, he turned and looked at the younger Winchester, “I need to know something. Are you... Do you want _him_ back?” It sounded wrong, because Alorest had been fighting to get Dean back for so long, but he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help being so afraid that Sam wanted someone... _Else_? _Was it someone else?_ He didn’t even know.

Sam could practically feel the color drain from his own face, "This isn't..." He looked down, anywhere but Alorest's eyes, "This isn't that simple and you know it. Of course I want him back, but that doesn't mean-it doesn't mean that I don't want you."

He was having a hard time making sense to himself, much less to Alorest. Sam scooted closer and willed himself to look the demon in the eyes as he laid a hand on his knee, "I have feelings for you too, I've told you that much."

“But you want him back,” Alorest said, looking at Sam, “What if he **does** come back, what then? What am I? Where... Where do _I_ go? Would you... Would you miss _me_?” The demon looked away, “You’d have him, you wouldn’t even think twice. It’d... I wouldn’t be anything at all.”

Sam cupped Alorest's cheek and turned his face back towards him, he shook his head in disbelief, "Do you really think so low of me to think that you mean nothing to me?" It was confusing, Sam didn't know what he'd do if he got Dean back, of course he'd miss Alorest, "You mean just as much to me as he does. Do you ever stop to think of how hard this is on **me**? I'm in love with two different people that are in the **same body**."

Alorest narrowed his brows and considered it, eyes searching Sam’s for the sincerity. Dean knew his brother well enough, to catch things like this, but the demon could tell that the younger Winchester meant what he said.

“I just... I don’t want to cease to exist,” He looked down, “Dean won’t need me, or even want me. Hell, **I** don’t want me. He can let go of me a lot better than I can let go of him.” And, technically, Alorest had **never** let go of Dean, it had just happened. He’d tried so hard to keep that part of himself but, in the end, he wasn't strong enough to keep his grip on Dean.

Sam felt his stomach twist at the thought of losing Alorest permanently, "I won't let him let you go. I need you, that should be enough." He leaned in and kissed the corner of Alorest's mouth chastely, "We'll figure this out, okay?" He looked at Alorest hopefully.

“Sam,” Alorest grabbed the larger man’s shoulder, he startled at the squeak of the seats below him and paused. They were... _Soaking wet_... On his leather seats. _Shit_. The demon moved, climbing from the Impala and grabbing their duffel-bags from the back. He handed Sam’s to him, “Get your clothes off an’ change, **my car** ,” He said, eyes widening slightly.

Sam grinned and halfheartedly chuckled at that, "Okay okay." All he had managed to put on were his pants, his wet shirt was still balled up in his lap. He slid his pants off to put a dry pair of boxers and a clean pair of jeans on, followed by an old AC/DC shirt Dean gave him years ago.

The younger Winchester leaned over the still slightly damp seat and planted a big wet kiss on Alorest's lips before he pulled back and sat indian style in the seat, a little cramped for his too long legs, but the floor was wet, and he didn't have any clean socks, "You know, If you just wanted to get me naked again, all you had to do was ask." He tucked his left arm behind the seat and winked at the demon.

Alorest chuckled as he stripped down and changed, putting their duffles in the back seat as he pulled out of park, giving Sam a suggestive glance as he smiled. He was still concerned, of course, that probably would never change, but Sam had eased him somewhat, reassured him that he had some place within this world.

* * *

After rushing through the rain outside of the motel, Alorest finally shut the door behind them and sighed in annoyance. He was soaked to the bone and practically numb from the inside out. The demon set their duffels down and slung their soaked clothes over the rail in the bathroom, rinsing his feet off in the tub before walking back out into their new, or rather old, room.

He was still on edge and at unease with the younger Winchester, maybe bitter even, towards Dean himself. He couldn’t help how he felt and, while he was sure that Sam had been sincere, there was still this part of him that was afraid and worried.

There were parts that had never understood why Sam would even want something like him, and knew that he was nothing, nothing at all compared to Dean Winchester. He was just a shadow of that man, misshapen, broken up, unattached. He could, would, protect Sam, he didn’t have to have this with the other man, it was more than he’d expected anyways, but it didn’t stop it from hurting him inside.

Even though they had some sort of crazy break through on the hood of the car while they were having sex, with Dean being present for a few seconds. Sam couldn't stop thinking about Alorest. The things that the demon told him in the car, he was actually worried that Sam didn't want him, worried that if he got Dean back that he'd disappear completely. It was crazy, every little bit of it.

Other than Dean, Sam had never cared for another being so much, so he knew he was in deep. This whole situation was fifty different kinds of fucked and they both knew it, but Sam had to hold out hope that something good would actually happen.

He had been leaning against the wall outside of the bathroom, waiting for the demon to come out and, when he did, Sam grabbed him by the hand and pulled him close. He rested his hand on the demon's hip, his thumb massaging the skin through the shirt, "Still thinkin' about it?"

Alorest’s eyes widened slightly at the sudden, immediate closeness of Dean’s brother and nodded as he swallowed, “Of course I am,” He admitted, though he didn’t want to. It was useless lying to Sam, the younger Winchester was stubborn enough for that to become a problem, if he did.

"Well, **don't** ," Sam grinned weakly, pulling the demon closer as he pressed the tip of his nose to Alorest's, "What good is it gonna do to worry about it constantly?" If anything, Sam just wanted to help him forget about it all for a little while, he could try to do at least that much for the demon.

“I can’t help it, Sam,” Alorest started, clearly losing grip on himself for a moment, “I can’t help knowin’ that I’m wrong, an’ wantin’ to exist, wantin’ to stay, when I should be Dean... I’m wrong. I’m broken, an’ it’s not right for me to want to exist. I’m just this... Mutated, warped version of him.”

He couldn’t breathe, even being a demon, it was like he was suffocating within himself, “ _Why did he have to go? Why would he just leave me in control of this?_ When he’s so much better at it, it’s his, an’...”

Sam pressed his lips to Alorest in a quick motion to shut him up, the kiss itself was soft, even softer than they were used to. He drew his hand up from the demon's hip and cupped his cheek, "You **really** don't give yourself enough credit," Sam's words were barely a whisper on Alorest's lips. It was true though, he would probably be dead right now if it wasn't for Alorest.

“There isn’t credit _to give_ ,” Alorest said weakly, a small, single tear slipping down his cheek, “I haven’t done anythin’.” He couldn’t take the other man’s words to heart, no matter how hard he tried; it just kept coming back around to everything he knew already. Not good enough for Dean, not good enough for anyone, and definitely not good enough for Sam. Forced to exist, with only two purposes, to protect Dean Winchester’s brother at all cost, and to kill his enemies.

What was Alorest doing here, with Sam? He didn’t deserve something like this. That was for Dean, not him.

Sam shook his head slightly, his lips ghosting Alorest's, "Do you regret this?" Sam grabbed the demon's hand and pulled it up to his chest, still holding it beneath his own.

“No,” Alorest answered at once, feeling immediately guilty. He wasn’t lying, which was what caused the _wrong_ feeling inside of him, like he was being greedy with Sam. “But I don’t deserve you. I never will.”

"It's not really your place to decide that," Sam slowly wrapped his arms around Alorest's waist and kissed him again, slow and warm. Sam would make him see that he was worthy, that he did deserve to exist if it was the last thing he did.

The demon stared up into Sam’s eyes, transfixed, in awe. It was something he admired about the other man, though it was stubborn and ignorant, he was adamant and true. To have someone like Sam Winchester care for him, even if Dean came first, it was something Alorest didn’t understand, but he treasured it.

He kissed back weakly, hands resting on Sam’s biceps.

Sam slid his hands up underneath the back of Alorest's shirt, his hands slow and soothing against the smooth skin, not needy. He deepened the kiss, tilting his head a little to the side as he parted his lips.

This wasn't about Sam's need, this was about Alorest, taking it slow and giving him whatever he needed. Sam wanted to show him that it wasn't that far of a stretch to love someone like him, in the demon's words, a _broken, mutated, warped_ version of his brother.

Alorest tilted his head up more, leaning into the kiss as he felt his throat tighten, his entire body lighting up with it. Kissing Sam was a gift, something he’d never before imagined, or even tried to consider receiving, because it was just **that far** out of reach. And now, it was like the younger Winchester just gave them to him _willingly_. It was an overwhelming luxury.

The demon’s hands moved up Sam’s sculpted arms, the cords of muscle making up his clavicles, touching the back of his neck nervously.

Sam pulled Alorest's shirt up slowly, breaking the kiss briefly to yank it off. He let his finger tips wander Alorest's chest, brushing over his nipples. He pulled his gaze from where his hands were and looked directly at the demon, noticing that his eyes were still green and that they hadn't flicked to black yet.

He leaned in, just a breath from Alorest's ear, "I wanna see _your_ eyes, not his." What was happening in this moment, it was about Alorest, not his brother. As much as he loved Dean, he felt like Alorest needed more proof.

The demon felt his chest twist at Sam’s voice, the whisper tickling the soft peach fuzz of blonde hairs along the shell of his ear. It was a simple request, but it caused such a welcome stirring inside of Alorest and he responded in kind, eyes pooling black at once as he managed to groan the larger man’s name from between his innocently parted lips.

Sam pulled back a little and grinned when he was greeted with black eyes, he ran his knuckles along Alorest's cheek, just under his left eye, "That's better."

He slipped his hands down Alorest's arms, then settled his palms against the demon's waist again, his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip before he leaned in to continue kissing the demon. Sam poured everything he had into it, breathing through his nose so he wouldn't have to part from Alorest as he guided him backwards towards the bed.

Alorest wasn’t often met with the curls of desire he was feeling suddenly, not need or want, but deep, _deep longing_ for the larger man. It was almost overwhelming, the feelings being risen from him and the demon didn't know how to express them outwardly.

He returned the motions of his lips against Sam’s, and each time little whimpers came out, like almost pained sighs or whining sounds that he was embarrassed of were being spurred forth from him, but Sam didn’t seem to mind. His hands were pulling the younger Winchester down as his knees hit the bed gently and the demon was in awe at his brother’s persistence, the firm hands on him like anchors holding him to the earth.

Sam put one hand out to catch them both so that they wouldn't just flop down onto the bed. He pulled back again for a moment, observing both Dean's and Alorest's face, overwhelmed with intense feelings for both of them. Sam smiled warmly as he pressed his body firmly against Alorest's, he ran one hand through the other man's short hair as his free hand traveled along the length of the demon's side. He kissed Alorest's chin, followed by both cheeks, the tip of his nose, his forehead and his temples.

“Sam,” Alorest breathed weakly, closing his eyes for a moment as the larger man kissed his face. He felt more and more complete, numb, fuzzed over as the larger man attended to him. It was almost dizzying, how intense the feelings were becoming. Demons shouldn’t be able to feel like this, but Alorest was sure that if Sam kept pushing him, his heart might burst. He wasn’t sure if both Dean’s love for Sam, and his own, could possibly fit inside of one small organ; it had to be straining against the buckles at this point.

Sam hummed against Alorest's skin at the mention of his name, he wanted nothing more than to kiss every inch of his body. He kissed along the scruff on the demon's jawline, down his neck and to his chest. Sam's eyes darted up to Alorest's as he took a nipple in his mouth while he undid the demon's pants, nibbling gently at the bud before flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

Alorest groaned in approval, cupping the back of Sam’s head, thumb softly tracing through his brother’s hair, “Sammy.” His legs felt like they were going to crumble underneath him, like the weight of those eyes were going to bring him down and bury him.

“Please,” He whispered as he stared into them.

Sam kissed the center of his chest before nodding softly, " **Anything** you want." He tugged at Alorest's jeans and pulled them off, yanking his own shirt away while he was leaned back, then unbuttoned his own jeans.

He drank the sight in appreciatively before nearly tearing down Alorest's boxer briefs, kissing the hips as he exposed the skin. He leaned down and pressed a plethora of more kisses to the demon's knees and up his thighs.

After he had adjusted himself on his stomach he tugged Alorest's hips to his face, "C'mere," He pressed his palms to the underside of the demon's thighs and pushed them up more. It hadn't been long since they had sex, but Sam still wanted to take his time and do this right.

He planted a kiss next to the slightly worn hole, he licked his lips and could taste both himself and the demon. The musk of both his brother **and** sex filled his nose, making his own cock throb with want.

The demon let out a heavy sigh of relief, feeling the mouth against some of his most sensitive skin. His shaking fingers reached down, taking Sam’s hand in his as he forced his vessel to relax. He wanted this, _goddamn_ , he wanted this more than anything. The intimacy, the raw exposure and love he felt, tweaking almost painfully in his chest.

Every time he was with Sam, he always felt stronger for his brother, grateful and welcome. And after feeling so lost for so long, while he still didn’t recognize the broad expanse of his emotions, he was assured that the ones he **did** were strong. He knew they weren’t things he should be able to feel, but it was more likely that... Somehow... His brother brought it out of him.

Alorest almost choked as he realized the context in which he’d been thinking of Sam. His _brother_. But that was right, wasn’t it? He was from Dean, what else would Sam be, if not his brother as well?

Sam licked around the tiny little hole before he stiffened his tongue and delved in, his hands squeezing the top part of Alorest's thighs as he used his tongue to fuck the demon. His cock jumped in anticipation and he rutted mindlessly against the bed. He continued until his jaw started aching slightly, then he pulled back and replaced his tongue with one finger, the tight slick heat making him groan into Alorest's thigh.

Alorest pushed back on the fingers, his hand moving to his mouth, licking his own before touching his chest and worrying his left nipple.

“Sammy, please,” He breathed, “More, _please_.” It was an odd sensation being in the body like this, healing up completely from sex before, fresh and new, and virgin, again. Sam’s finger felt so large in him and it would always be like this, but he ached for it.

The demon begging for more went straight to Sam's cock, his breathing hitched a little as he added another finger, pumping in and out slowly to stretch him. Sam rolled his hips a couple of times into the mattress, god _damn_ he just wanted to be inside the demon already. He adjusted himself so that he could wrap his lips around the head of Alorest's cock and went down on the demon fully, just once, then traced the vein along the underside with his tongue as he added a third finger.

Alorest watched Sam with wide eyes, his mouth watering, cock twitching as the demon grabbed the comforter for support, fist balling up in it as he fought bucking his hips and kept them on the bed, it was painful, agonizing, and a weak, strained sob escaped his throat as it happened.

Sam continued for a few more minutes, just enough to prep him for his cock, but not overkill. He kissed the demon's thigh anytime he'd moan or squirm, occasionally flicking the head of Alorest's dick with his tongue. Sam withdrew his fingers, pulled himself off the bed long enough to drop his pants and practically crawled back up the demon's body.

“Sam,” Alorest whispered, body shuddering as the larger man towered over him and the demon’s legs bent and spread, making way for him. He felt the excitement pooling inside, black eyes becoming glassy, tearing up as he stared into Sam’s face, his hands resting on his brother’s biceps.

Sam grinned, then spit in his hand, he rubbed it along his length and tugged at the head before he positioned himself between Alorest's legs. He pushed in without hesitating, but he went slow, his eyes watching the demon's face for any hint of pain.

“M’fine, Sammy,” The demon breathed out, touching his brother’s face, “Really, I am. I can’t feel anythin’, just pressure. It’s fine, okay?” He smiled, moved by Sam’s constant concern, even when he didn’t need to be. The pressure wasn’t something that irritated either, it just let him know that his body was being invaded, in a way that he wanted it to be.

Sam nodded, looking into the glassy black eyes, "Okay," His voice was borderline timid. He pushed in fully, his balls resting against Alorest's ass. Sam pulled out almost completely, the head of his dick the only thing still inside of the demon, then he slid back in. He repeated that a few times, loving the way he just disappeared into Alorest's body.

Sam pressed his body flush against the demon's as he set a rhythm, fast but not _too_ fast. He moaned when he rocked into the demon, able to feel the other man's hard cock slotted against his hip.

Alorest sat up slightly, grabbed the back of Sam’s neck and pulled him down into a heated, breathless kiss. His thighs tightened against Sam’s torso, dropping slightly to slide along the heated skin, his brother was always so warm in comparison and he turned Sam’s face to the side, nipping along the larger man’s jaw, tonguing it, sucking it as he felt Sam fill him.

The younger Winchester moaned, his face pulled into a pleasurable grimace. The demon felt so impossibly tight, wrapped around him, felt like this **every** time; too damn good.

Sam was breathing heavy and knew he was being more verbal than usual, with a bunch of ' _fuck yeah's_ ' and ' _oh god's_ '. And then when Alorest started sucking on his skin, he almost lost it right there. Sam stilled his hips slightly, reduced the thrusting to a slow rolling motion as he took Alorest's cock in his hand, jacking the demon off in tune with the roll of his hips.

“Sammy,” Alorest breathed as his hips bucked into the large, firm grip around his length. His forehead dropped to Sam’s shoulder, hands clasping his brother’s back, “Oh, goddamn, please.” With the younger Winchester’s confident tugs, he felt as if it was being brought directly up from his soul, drawing his hips forward and Alorest bucked again, the words coming out like a mantra, “Sammy, Sam, please.”

Sam kissed Alorest's neck teasingly as he continued to tug at his dick, his hips still rolling in and out of him, settling a warm sensation low in his hips. Sam focused mainly on the head of the demon's cock, a few regular tugs followed by a sweet little twist at the tip, "Love it when you say my name."

Alorest’s eyes were half-lidded as he stared up at Sam, cheeks flushed, freckles pronounced as his lips parted, popping open at the sound of his brother’s heated voice, “Sammy,” He said, so shaky that the name was no more than a tremor passing between them.

Sam bit down on his lip, trying to stop himself from coming, he needed Alorest to get off first. He grinned a little at how fucked out the demon looked, flashing his dimples, "Want you to come for me," Sam whispered against Alorest's lips, then tightened his grip on the demon's cock and continued to jack him off slowly as his hips began snapping into Alorest.

“M’close, Sammy,” The demon breathed, blinking and staring into his brother’s eyes as a tear slipped down the side of his face. He arched his back, legs tightening around Sam as he came, the orgasm hitting him harder than ever before, and he pressed their foreheads together; it was so hard that he was almost worried, his nose beside Sam’s as he continued to stare into Sam’s eyes.

"I love you," He said, voice ragged and choked, and he didn't care what he sounded like, he meant it. Even with whatever he was now, even if he wasn't enough for his brother, Alorest would still love him forever, with all that he had.

Sam bit back a sob and snapped his hips into Alorest a few more times before he was coming inside the demon, "I love you too," He practically cried out, his breathing erratic, "So much." Sam could feel his eyes water, he was so completely blissfully happy in that moment, so much that the feeling was almost alien to him; unrecognizable.

Alorest’s finger’s fluttered over Sam’s neck as he breathed, the habit actually helping to calm his heart as he squeezed his brother tight. Tears were on his cheeks, dripping off his chin and onto his chest, his legs were shaking so violently that Sam **had** to have noticed, but he didn’t care; he wanted the younger Winchester to see him like this.

Sam's right hand slid down Alorest's side and rested low on his hip, his left wiped the tears from under the demon's eyes and cheeks, "I mean it," The _please don't forget it_ was left unsaid. The demon was beautiful like this, trembling beneath Sam, almost heartbreakingly so.

“So do I, Sam, I–” Alorest searched the larger man’s eyes as he smiled weakly, “I love you, with everything I have, I do, Sam.”

Sam felt his heart swell at the demon's words, and it almost made him wonder what Alorest's true form looked like. He wondered if he'd love the demon as much _that_ way, and almost choked on nothing but air when he realized that he probably **would**.

Sam kissed Alorest before rolling off of him, he didn't move away though, he snuggled right up next to the demon and draped his arm over the other man's waist. They were both fucked out and dirty, both in dire need of a long hot shower, but it could wait.

He pulled the demon close and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, "Wouldn't mind if you wanted to remind me from time to time," He said as he smiled against the demon's skin.

Alorest chuckled and hummed in approval, turning to brush his lips over Sam’s temple, “I’ll say it as much as you want, as often as you want, long as I have you.” He turned into Sam slightly, taking the larger man’s lips in his and smiling. He pulled back suddenly, notching his brows, “You must be hungry, it’s passed noon an’ you haven’t eaten a thin’ today.”

As if on cue, Sam's stomach growled, "Guess I could eat." He took his thumb and smoothed out the worried line between Alorest's brows.

“What’s say we order some pizza or somethin’?” Alorest suggested, “It’s rainin’, it’s a slow day, can’t get a case done in this weather now, can we?”

"Mmm," Sam mumbled before kissing Alorest again, "Sounds really good." A lazy day holed up in a cheap motel room with the demon he was in love with **and** pizza? Yeah, sounded pretty fantastic actually.


	11. Chapter 9

Even with all of Sam’s comforts, Alorest still felt an insecurity with his brother that he could not explain or reason. He wanted to trust the younger Winchester, and most of the time he did, but when Sam said things like ‘we’ll be fine’, and ‘I love you just as much as Dean’, he still knew, _knew, not thought_ , that Sam would pick Dean over him, given the chance. _Alorest would as well_. He’d pick Dean over himself if the opportunity presented itself, the hunter had more to offer than a heartless demon like himself.

He tried not to talk about it around Sam, knowing that it’d only upset the younger Winchester, but it didn’t stop the feeling from growing inside of him. And since they’d been on the run from Lilith, they didn’t often get time to themselves. It was only a matter of time before they slipped up and she arrived at their fucking door.

Still, the more he was around Sam, the more he felt Dean coming through, and he kept catching his slip ups. Even if they were mental, they weren’t something he wanted. _He had to be careful_. If he dropped his guard for a second, Dean might be able to take over, and then he’d lose himself entirely. It was confusing, because he **still** wanted Dean back, but he was afraid, terrified of not existing anymore. He wanted as much time with his brother as he could get.

They rolled over under the sheets, legs lacing together, and Alorest stared up into Sam’s eyes, a longing, desperate gaze as he smiled, “Should get packin’, soon, gotta move,” He said, running his fingers along the larger man’s jaw line. It was easy to be happy with Sam, even if his mind was elsewhere.

Ever since Alorest had opened up to him in the Impala, it had been easier for Sam to just let go of his feelings, to not think about things so much and just get lost in this for once; practically showing all of his feelings by physical means - through affection. It was startling at first; the first time Sam realized just how often he thought about the demon and how much the other man **really** meant to him, despite being around him pretty much twenty-four seven, it never felt like enough. The little things they shared, simple things, were enough to make, and keep, him happy, regardless. Happier than he'd been in a long time, anyway.

Along with these realizations came other abilities, though; like being able to tell when something was bothering Alorest, even if the demon did his best to hide it. Inevitably bugging Sam, making him wonder why the demon couldn't just open up to him and tell him what was on his mind.

Sam rested his hand low on Alorest's hip, his thumb mindlessly caressing the warm skin as he nuzzled his larger body closer, "We got to?" He asked, leaning down as he covered Alorest's lips with his own in a slow, lazy kiss, "Wanna stay like this. Right here, with you."

Alorest was tempted by the comment, but he resisted, wiping the sweat from Sam’s brow as his body arched. Every time Sam laid his hands on him, Alorest felt this unusual squirm from inside, a phantom Dean emotion. He could look back in the memories and find those with his former self, during the ghost touches of Sam’s, when they weren’t paying attention. Dean would’ve done anything, to have been here, to’ve felt like this. It made Alorest feel guilty, selfish, keeping Sam to himself. That wasn’t his complete intent, but it was a side effect of what he was doing, anyways; so it still happened, regardless.

He wanted Dean to feel this, though, and he wanted to drop himself away, to let that side back out, but it was quickly becoming a muscle reflex, to resist. Sam’s words were what he needed, to keep himself in front. Even though he didn’t entirely believe it, it was nice to hear.

“Wanna stay too, but we can’t,” He breathed, chest still heaving, though he didn’t need air, Sam still left him breathless.

"I know," Sam admitted softly, smiling as he rolled himself on top of Alorest, his right hand squeezing the demon's thigh suggestively, "Can't blame me for trying, can you?" Perhaps the fact that Sam had let himself get so involved, so wrapped up in the demon and the blood - the high and the strength that came along with loving him; maybe that left him vulnerable and naive to the things that were still happening around them, and he didn't want that.

“Mm, I s’pose not,” Alorest stared up into Sam’s eyes, his own turning black as he smiled, “There’s a good, solid case in Georgia. F’we leave soon, we can make it there by night fall, an’ then... Well, we can pick right back up where we left off.” Ever since he’d gotten the chance to be intimate with Sam, it seemed like they took the opportunities where they could get them. If it wasn’t for the strong pull of revenge, he’d leave this life alone entirely, and take to Sam’s body hand and mouth, like it was his job. But he had to get them back, Azazel especially, the bastard. And Alastair, for breaking his self, for breaking Dean and ripping the hunter apart. He couldn't rest until that was done.

"Okay," Sam nodded slowly, his eyes transfixed on the inky, black pools of the demon's, "Yeah, there's always later." It took him a second, but then Sam leaned down and slotted his mouth against Alorest's, harder and more demanding before he rolled off of him and stood up beside the bed. Sam knew he needed to get his head back in the game, anyway. His love for the demon was blinding what needed to be done and what was yet to come.

Alorest stood, all nerves and excitement as he dressed. He always felt like this after sex, lately, the squirm, the numbness, the loss of heat. He wasn’t sure why, or what it was exactly, but he liked it; it felt important. The demon pulled his shirt on and paused for a moment when he felt a sudden, sharp sting in his chest, right where the scar broke through the anti-possession symbol above his left breast. “Ah,” he gasped lightly, keeping the shirt just under his armpits as he observed it. It didn’t look different, but it was burning.

Sam had just pulled his jeans up over his hips and buttoned them when he looked up, the pain was as clear as day on Alorest's face and that alone concerned him. He moved pretty quickly, reaching out to touch the demon's arms cautiously, "Are you okay?" Sam asked, brows drawn tight as he observed Alorest's body, "What's wrong?"

“It–” Alorest hissed and looked at Sam, eyes widening, “It’s burnin’, Sam. Somethin’s not right.” He gasped as a shock ran through him and his entire body trembled as he heard his name being called; like curls of a person’s fingers around the tattered remains of his soul, pulling him. “Sam,” He breathed as his eyes watered, the soft puff of smoke just ghosting from his lips for a moment, and he grabbed at his brother’s arms, “Somethin’s pullin’ me–”

Sam wrapped an arm around Alorest's waist to hold him up, his other hand cupping Alorest's cheek. His own insides curling with a sick fear as he saw the black smoke. "Just stay here, okay?" He pleaded with the demon, his own eyes widening when he realized that Alorest couldn't control it, "Please. Just listen to me, you're gonna be okay."

“Don’t let me go, Sam, please,” The demon begged, staring into Sam’s eyes still, fear increasing as he felt the pull again.

‘Alorest,’ it called, latching onto his depths, ‘Alorest, you can’t resist for long.’

He blinked the tears from his eyes and felt them spill down on his cheeks, “Take care of my body, I can’t... I can’t fight it. Sam, please–” His voice broke off and he gasped, the smoke coming out now and his vision blurred.

"Shit," Sam cursed, his own eyes filling to the brim with tears as he held his brother's limp body, "No no no no no." Bobby warned them that this could happen, but some part of Sam just didn't want to believe it. It was happening now, though, and Sam didn't know what to do.

The younger Winchester felt his knees give out and he didn't have the strength to stay up; his strength having just left the room in the form of black smoke. He sat on the floor, holding the lifeless body as he fought back the sobs; rage boiling under his skin directed towards Azazel. Knowing that the son of a bitch had to be killed by Alorest if there was any hope of the demon getting his self worth back, but wanting the yellow-eyed fucker to meet his end by **his** hands instead.

* * *

When Alorest touched ground, it was an unusual feeling, to be smoke (with no form), staring at the demon that had started this all. And if he’d had insides, they would’ve curled in disgust the moment he saw Azazel. He was smoke for only a moment though, just a stares worth of time as he began to take solid form, in the shape he was most familiar with. The long claws of his hands and feet, the sharp, burled features of his greyed skin stretched over tons of pounds of muscles. How did such a creature fit inside of Dean’s body, he wondered. How did the spikes protruding from his back not pierce through the late hunter’s skin once Alorest’s tattered being was consumed?

Azazel watched him in amusement, his long tendrils twisting around one another, “Good evening, Alorest, have you been enjoying your new-found freedom?”

Alorest glared and would’ve raised a brow, had he one to do so with, “Naturally. You didn’t tell me about the side effect.”

“Minor,” The older demon said and looked away, smirking viciously, “You didn’t _need_ to know, it wasn’t necessary.”

“What did you do to me, **exactly**?” Alorest asked.

“It’s not of import–”

“It is to me,” Alorest hissed as he moved forward, “Enough of your games, old man, tell me what you did to me.”

Azazel smiled and Alorest actually paused in it’s wake, “I just made sure that you couldn’t kill me, sounds fair, right? Oh, you didn’t think I knew about _that_ , did you?”

Alorest dropped his head and swallowed.

“I knew the moment you came up here, what you’d do, the very second you turned to Sam.”

“It’s an act.”

Azazel shook his head, “No, it’s not. I know you, Dean Winchester. And you haven’t changed, not in three hundred years. You’re still as stubborn, as driven as you were before.”

“I’m not Dean,” Alorest attempted to correct, but the other demon shook his head.

“It’s still astounding to me,” Azazel said as he moved, “The effect that breaking a man has, how you look at yourself, how you view your own quality of being.”

Alorest growled and glanced around the darkened road, “Is there a reason you’ve summoned me, or are we just here for idle chit-chat?”

“Lines are being drawn,” Azazel explained carefully, “I thought I’d extend my hand in offering, and request that you join me, before it’s too late.”

“I’d never–”

“Hear me out, before you decline my offer.”

Alorest crossed his arms and stared at the other demon, nodding slowly, “Alright, I’ll humor you.”

“Lilith is going to propose a partnership with you, but she’s going to turn her back the moment it presents itself,” Azazel continued, watching Alorest intensely, “I’m offering you my own arm, to work together to take her out.”

Alorest rolled his eyes, “And what’s to say you won’t do the same thing? Turn your back and kill me first?”

“If I wanted you dead, I would’ve done it a long, _long_ time ago.”

“You want Sam,” Alorest said, “You want his powers. In turn for helping me, is that it?”

Azazel smirked, “Yes. It’s a small sacrifice, is it not?”

“ **Never** ,” Alorest backed away, “For more reasons than I can count, I would never join sides with you for anything. And now that you’ve tipped me off, why would I even bother?”

Azazel frowned in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t ask me to join you if you weren’t afraid you were going to lose,” Alorest moved back further, but he wasn’t expecting the other demon to charge at him, to sink his tendrils into his chest and writhe through his body.

His legs shook and he reached out, shoving Azazel back and he staggered, stumbling as blood dripped from between his sharp black teeth.

Wounded, he felt his shape fall away, and he began to wander through the world, a cloud of shaking, diminishing smoke as he searched for the warmth, the spark of his body, the vessel.

He was lost, wounded, and he was beginning to fear that he’d never find himself again. Could he die like this? How badly had Azazel wounded him? He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t stop to find out, but darkness was beginning to settle in.

He was scrambling, desperate, searching and falling through the world.

It wasn’t his body that he found first, but Sam’s soft voice, like a lure, a tug within every region of his body that spurred him forth, even long after he was sure he’d lost it.

And then, within the black of the world, he saw the light, the beacon in the darkness and he clung to it, wrapping his arms (if he had arms, if that was what it was) around the warm familiarity of Dean’s body. He fell in all at once, heels above head and arms outstretched as he shuffled through the keyhole and blew through the room.

Dean’s lungs filled, though he didn’t need to breathe, and the demon opened his eyes, twisting onto his side in pain, body writhing as he’d been doing before. He coughed up blood, hands balling into fists in the comforter as he turned his head into the pillow.

* * *

It took Sam a while to come to terms with the fact that Alorest wasn't coming back any time soon. While sitting there on the floor with his arms wrapped protectively around the limp body, Sam realized that he needed to do something and that the longer they stayed here, it was more likely that Lilith would catch up.

Sam touched his brother's cheek hesitantly, the tips of his finger's tracing the soft lines. He didn't want to let go of him for **any** length of time, but he needed to get their stuff together so that he could get them both out of there and to another town.

"Alright," Sam said sadly as he stared down at the body, letting go as gently as he could before kissing his brother's forehead, "It's gonna be okay, I'm gonna get us out of here - keep you safe."

The whole time Sam was packing their things into the Impala, he kept thinking about Alorest; wondering where he was at and praying silently that he was okay. Sam wiped his puffy eyes as he shut the trunk, snorting to himself as he walked back into the room, "Praying for a demon, isn't that something."

Sam used his grief and anger to power him through getting Dean's body into the backseat of the Impala. It was unsettling, Sam thought to himself as he sat in the driver's seat, observing his brother's body in the rear view mirror, how it almost appeared as if he was just in a deep sleep. He tilted the mirror away so that he didn't have a clear view and started the Impala.

Almost five days and three hotels later. Sam found himself sitting in the corner of the room, in the dark, just staring at the still lifeless body on the bed. The passing days didn't make it any easier. He wasn't getting any sleep, constantly on guard - not at all prepared for Lilith. Looking at himself in the mirror was enough to make Sam sick on most days, the disappointment and hatred he felt towards himself for not preventing the inevitable made him dry heave, puke up a little stomach acid at most.

Sam tried his hardest to take care of the body. It wasn't decaying like a dead body would, but after a day or two the body odor was apparent. Every night since then he gave his brother's body a sponge bath, renewing his clothes day after day. Sam would even move his body from time to time, from his back to his side even though he knew it didn't matter - Alorest wasn't there and he couldn't feel the discomfort.

It got to the point where Sam was becoming sick of looking at pavement and he was pretty sure people from passing towns had noticed him carrying Dean's body. So in order to keep them both safe, he was constantly on the move. It had been two weeks or damn close to it since Alorest had left his brother's body. Sam was feeling like shit, still holding on to what little hope he had left. He'd become so obsessed with taking care of the body that over the past two weeks, he'd let himself go.

Sam couldn't even stomach looking at himself at all anymore, but the last glance he caught of himself; he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how sunken in they seemed, how dull and brittle his hair was. Overall a shocking image to someone who usually prided himself on his appearance. This wasn't about him though, and he'd continue to do whatever it took to keep them both safe. Alorest **would** return, he had to believe that, because if he didn't then he knew he wouldn't be able to go on at all.

Sam sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, his eyes fluttering closed. The lack of both food and sleep was beginning to take it's toll on him as his body veered towards unconsciousness.

It was just then that he heard the coughing coming from the other bed. Sam's eyes opened immediately, his body already moving and settling next to Alorest before his mind had time to catch up. He patted the demon's back, concerned eyes raking the body as he watched him cough up blood. Sam picked up the damp rag he kept by the bed and held it to Alorest's mouth. For all the talking Sam had done over the past two weeks, talking mindlessly to his brother's lifeless body - now that he had Alorest back, Sam couldn't find his voice.

The front of Dean’s shirt blossomed with blood as the wound opened up and he reached out, grasping onto Sam as he coughed up more. He wasn’t healing, and he didn’t know what else to do and, even though he was now back in his body, he felt the strong throngs of death looming over him. He looked at his brother as his head fell back, one hand clutching at the wound in his chest.

“Sam,” He tried to swallow the blood but it was filling his mouth, spilling down his cheeks as he shook. He couldn't have just come back to die, but how the Hell do you heal a demon?

"I'm here," Sam said, his voice panicked as he stayed close, unsure of what to do, "It's okay, I'm here." Seeing the demon like this was **almost** more painful than having to look at the lifeless body day after day. It made Sam uneasy, because he didn't know what to do, and his lover wasn't healing like he usually did. Any attempt that he made towards trying to clean Alorest up was pointless, the clothes and the comforter was practically covered in blood.

Alorest sat up, body shuddering as he stood, blood spilling down his front as he rushed to the bathroom, practically ripping his shirt from his body and coughing into the tub. Demon’s can’t bleed out, that was some... Some very little comfort, but it was all he had to go off of. There was something twisting in him, _something that shouldn’t be there._

Sam sort of felt like a fly on the wall as he watched Alorest move to the bathroom. He had put everything into taking care of the body while he was gone and now that he was back, Sam felt useless. He followed the demon into the bathroom - the sharp, bitter smell of the blood awakened his senses minutely. "I don't know what to do," Sam admitted honestly, reaching his shaking hand out and touching Alorest's back.

“I don’t either,” Alorest panted, climbing into the tub and shuddering as he looked at Sam. He reached his shaky fingers up and began pushing them into the wound, digging the dull fingernails through flesh as he searched. The pain was immense, more than he’d ever felt, but it’d be worth it, if his suspicion was right, “You got a knife?”

Sam nodded silently as he fumbled with his pocket, he pulled his knife out and handed it to Alorest. Watching the demon dig his fingers into his chest was enough to make Sam's stomach roll.

Alorest wiped the blood from his mouth, feeling the wet stick of tears as well and he took Sam’s knife. Arteries and anything else in the way was pretty much forfeit, it’d just heal over once he was done, so he plunged the blade in without so much as a backwards glance.

He dug deep, cutting through meat until he found the creature writhing around inside of him; one of Azazel’s tendrils had latched onto him, joined the ride over, and had been working it’s way through him; into the demon-side of him, effecting the human body little in comparison to the agony he'd felt in his stumbling search before.

He ripped the wriggling portion from his wound and crushed it in his fist. At once, he started healing, and he fell back against the end of the tub, staring up at the tiled wall before him, panting as his body shook.

Sam dropped to his knees next to Alorest, his eyes wide with fear as he sat his hand on the edge of the tub. It was like a flood of relief washed over him when he noticed the demon was healing. It felt like it was the first time he'd caught his breath since Alorest had been back, like he'd been holding it the entire time - waiting for the demon to be okay before he exhaled.

Alorest dropped the knife with shaking fingers, turning and leaning against the tub, arms folded over the side as he stared at Sam. He was sure he looked like a horror movie zombie, face and body covered in blood, mid-wrist to the tips of his fingers covered in gore as he watched his brother.

“M’sorry,” He breathed, sniffling through his nose.

"I-It's okay," Sam stammered and found himself moving forward, reaching out to touch Alorest in one way or another. For the life of him, Sam couldn't figure out why the demon was apologizing - he had nothing to be sorry for.

“M’not sure how long I’ve been gone,” Alorest dropped his forehead against the side of the tub as he breathed, tears still pouring down his cheeks. He’d never been so terrified in all of his life as a demon; not once had he feared for him self so strongly.

Sam ran his fingers through the short bristles of Alorest's hair, trying to soothe him the best he could. "Two weeks," Sam told him, trying to keep his talking to a minimum - afraid that if he spoke too much, he'd turn into a sobbing mess.

Alorest would’ve thrown up, probably, had he eaten human foods, “You mean... I was stumblin’ through the darkness with that thing inside of me... For _two weeks_?” He shook and breathed. Honestly, it had felt longer, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He pulled back, taking Sam’s hand in his, though his fingers were slippery, and as red as brick, “M’so sorry, Sammy.”

"It's okay," Sam repeated again, this time he practically choked on each word - his eyes welled up. Just a little touch and Sam felt like all the tension he'd felt over the past two weeks was withering away as he sat there, his eyes locked firmly on their hands.

The demon stared out at the red smear of blood leading back to the bed, none of it was going to be fun to clean, but he'd do it once he'd washed up. And then he looked at Sam, finally observing the man for the first time since he'd came back into himself, now seeing the lines of sleep, the reddened eyes, the wild look about him, unshaven; the younger Winchester was completely worn down.

“Shower with me?” He offered weakly, trying to smile.

Sam's eyes flicked up to Alorest's, a few tears falling down his cheeks as he nodded numbly. It all felt so surreal, to finally have **his** demon back again. Sam stood and shucked himself free of his clothes, his eyes glued to Alorest's the entire time - part of him just afraid that the demon would disappear again.

Alorest shifted out of the rest of his clothes, tossing them over the side of the tub with his shirt, and turned on the hot water as he carefully stood. His arms and legs were shaking, not from cold, but out of a nervous confusion, having been in _pain_ , having been away from his body, dying, and now being back. He reached out for Sam’s hand, swallowing and staring into the other man’s eyes.

Sam took Alorest's hand and stepped into the tub, noticing the blood pooling at his feet when he looked down. He was sure he should have been feeling about fifty different emotions, but he was still in shock and his main thought process was, _He's back, he's alive and this is real._

Alorest touched Sam’s arms and neck, fingers shaking, face covered in blood still as he searched his brother’s eyes. He couldn’t begin to fathom the fear that Sam had went through, taking care of him, and he wasn’t sure where to begin, was just grateful that he’d made it, that he was still alive. “M’so sorry,” He said again, unable to really get out much more beyond that.

It felt as if the demon's touches were warming him up, igniting parts of him he hadn't felt since before Alorest left. Just like that - he felt so overwhelmed and so thankful at the same time. Sam began to shake his head at Alorest's words before his eyes started to tear up again. He wrapped his arms around the demon and pulled him in close, squeezing him tightly as his body rocked with sobs, "I m-missed you, didn't know if you were- if you were gonna come back."

“That makes two of us,” Alorest gasped as he closed his eyes, grateful to have the response from Sam, the over-whelming love, the clear display of fear and longing. It filled the demon with a kind of warmth he’d never really felt before. As obvious as it should’ve been for a while now, Sam actually **loved** him, Sam had **missed** him.

“I wasn’t even with yellow eyes for long,” He said, avoiding the name on reflex, “most of it was wandering, wounded, tryin’ to get back to you.”

The more Sam tried to calm himself down, the more hysterical he got as they stood flush together, his big hand holding the nape of Alorest's neck. "I'm glad y-you're back," He sobbed against the demon's blood covered neck.

Sam just got him back and any amount of space put between them would almost be physically painful, but he needed to see the demon's eyes. He pulled back just enough to press his forehead against Alorest's, "I missed you so much," He repeated again, his straining body clinging to the demon with everything he had left in him, "I love you. Oh God. I love you."

Alorest stared into Sam’s eyes, his own becoming black completely as he smiled and touched his brother’s face, “I know, I love you too.” Every time Sam said it, it was like Alorest felt suddenly weak in the knees, He reached up, combing fingers through the larger man's hair, “And I heard you talkin’ to me. F’it wasn’t for you, I might not’ve found myself. You saved me, you took care of me.”

For the first time since Alorest left, Sam felt a real, genuine smile tug at the corners of his lips. The shiny black eyes staring back at him were welcomed, _wanted_ even. "I tried," Sam offered, his smile faltering slightly as his muscles ached with proof of his trials.

Soon, they’d have to talk about what had happened but, for now, Alorest could stand here under the spray of water and be somewhat at ease. He turned, washing his mouth with his shaking hands, trying to clean his face the best he could.

Sam used his hands to wipe Alorest's shoulders free of blood, pressing his body close to the demon's. It almost felt like a dream and Sam couldn't help but think, ' _I'm gonna wake up any time now_ '.

Alorest pressed his cheek to Sam’s, hands scrabbling up his brother’s back as he nosed his brother’s temple and smiled, “Missed this so bad, feels like it’s been forever since I had you against me.” He remembered being torn from Sam, that complete fear that filled him when he realized what was happening. “Have you been drinkin'?”

Sam pressed his lips to the side of Alorest's face, shaking his head as he trailed light kisses down his neck and along his shoulder, "No." It hadn't so much as crossed his mind the entire time, he had been too worried about Alorest and taking care of the body that he completely neglected himself.

“You should,” The demon offered as he leaned into Sam’s lips, breathing heavily out of habit as he began washing his brother’s hair. It was mindless, the cleaning, and neither of them seemed to need it much beyond the blood and gore from earlier, but he wanted to touch Sam, any excuse, he’d take it.

"I'm fine," Sam mumbled, trying to disregard his needs even further. It had become almost a mindless habit, pushing his own well being to the side. Sam also didn't want to ruin their reunion by being blood hungry, he was just content with this - being pressed up against the demon in the shower.

Alorest nodded slowly, considering the words, “You’re not, but I understand. You went this long without it, you’ll be fine a bit longer.” He combed Sam’s hair back and pulled the taller man down, pressing his lips to his brother’s, finally. He hadn’t completely gotten the taste of blood from his mouth yet, but he needed this.

Sam leaned into the kiss, tilting his head to slot their lips together perfectly. He put everything he had into it, pouring all the love he hadn't been able to show over the past two weeks into his enthusiasm. Sam's hands were shaking as he wrapped one arm around Alorest's waist, his other hand touching the scruff along the demon's cheek as he fully allowed himself to relax - to melt into his lover completely.

It wasn’t entirely surprising, the force behind the kiss, Alorest should’ve expected it, but _damn_. He felt his toes curl on the soft floor of the tub and his arms wrapped around Sam’s neck, head tilting to deepen the kiss as he moaned into his brother’s mouth. He reached back, carefully turning off the water and breaking the kiss to stare at Sam, cheeks red, eyes black, and water dripping from his hair, down his face.

Sam felt absolutely breathless as they stood there, cheeks flushed and bodies pressed close. It was odd, but he never really realized how much he loved Alorest's black eyes until he didn't have them to look into everyday. Sure, he had somewhat of a kink for them, but this felt different. They'd come to be just as familiar as Dean's green eyes - emitting a sense of love and belonging; reminding Sam that he was home.

Alorest leaned in, pressing his lips to Sam’s chin and jaw, staring into his brother’s eyes still, “I’ll clean up, okay?” He said, moving from the tub and reaching down for his bloodied clothes, his back to Sam as he did so.

Sam shook his head as he got out of the tub as well, his body trembling slightly from lack of food and sleep as he grabbed a towel down from the rack and wrapped it around his waist, "I can help." The whole room was a mess and he knew they wouldn't be able to get all of it out, but he felt helpless when Alorest was bleeding all over the place; the least he could do was help clean it up.

“Alright,” The demon agreed. He reached out with his clean hand and touched Sam’s stomach, “An’ we’ll order somethin’, get you fed.” He leaned in, kissing his brother’s lips, “Get you juiced up, get you some fuckin' sleep.”

Sam grinned against Alorest's lips and huffed, "God, I never thought I'd miss that mouth of yours." It was a nice thought though, to have actual food in his stomach, his lovers blood coursing through his body and some sleep to back it up; he needed it.

Alorest walked out of the bathroom, dripping still, naked as the day Dean was born, and set the clothes on the comforter, folding it up around itself and taking it into the kitchen, wrapping it all in a plastic bag before rinsing himself back off in the sink.

The cleaning was slow-going, and Alorest stopped to order pizza midway through. He finally, once they’d cleaned the carpet and the bathroom floor to the best of their abilities, rinsed off again and got dressed.

The room looked about ninety percent better than it did, a few places here and there that just wouldn't come up. Sam had gotten dressed in a pair of his loose, faded blue-jeans, not even bothering with a shirt before he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Being able to see Alorest back in one piece, working and acting just like he did before it all happened, blanketed Sam with a sense of relief. After sitting and letting his body wind down after being so coiled tight after the past two weeks; he started to actually _feel_ tired, completely fucking exhausted was actually a lot more accurate.


	12. Chapter 10

Alorest looked up when the knock on the door sounded and he moved at once, paying the driver at the door and shutting it with his telekinesis before joining Sam on the bed, “Once you eat, an’ get somethin’ to drink, you can sleep. But I’m not lettin’ you clock out ‘til both are done.” He set the boxes down and stood before his brother, reaching up and combing his fingers through Sam's hair.

The young Winchester opened the box and tried leaning into the touch at the same time. It had felt like an eternity; having to go two weeks without it - the feeling that warmed parts of him that alcohol couldn't even reach.

He grabbed a piece of pizza and practically inhaled the first half of it down in one bite, making him look like an overgrown puppy who finally got his kibbles after days of being deprived. It wasn't that Sam **couldn't** eat, it was more along the lines that everything else had consumed most of his attention and, even when his stomach would give a hungry grumble, Sam couldn't bring himself to eat.

"I don't need either," Sam said, right as he was grabbing his second piece of pizza.

The demon leaned down to Sam’s ear, pressing a kiss against it before whispering, “No, but /I/ do.” He smiled, “I need to see you do both, an’ then you can sleep. Otherwise, I’ve a few good songs stuck in my head that I don’t mind singin’ shamelessly, to keep you awake,” He said, sitting by his brother and watching the younger Winchester. He was moved by the fact that Sam had been unable to eat without him there, but he was also upset. Sam should've been taking care of himself, what if he came back too late, and Sam had passed by? It was a fear he didn't even want to consider.

Sam nodded as he made a noncommittal grunt, shoving the rest of the second piece into his mouth. Normally he'd have half the pizza gone before he even started getting full, but having gone so long without food - finishing the second piece was pushing it.

"Okay," He muttered as he wiped the grease off of his mouth with the back of his hand, he stood up slowly, "Don't need anything to drink, but if it's in the name of making sure you won't sing," Sam shrugged, "Guess I can."

Alorest looked at the boxes nervously, moving to Sam and touching his stomach with one flat palm, staring up at the younger Winchester as his eyes pooled black, unable to hide the clear worry on his face, “Sam...”

"What?" Sam asked, furrowing his brows as he scanned Alorest's worried face, "What's wrong?"

“I’m fuckin’ **terrified** ,” The demon admitted, eyes wandering Sam’s face as his free hand touched his brother’s waist, “You’re weak, an’ with Lilith on our backs an’...” He closed his mouth and swallowed, “Just drink, please.” He was probably being too open with his brother, but the fear he was feeling was almost overwhelming.

"I was going to get something to drink before you stopped me," Sam responded and covered Alorest's hand with his own, reassuringly, "I'll be as good as new in no time." Sam dipped his head down and kissed the demon's cheek before trying to maneuver around him.

Alorest grabbed Sam’s jaw and turned his head to stare into his brother’s eyes, “I didn’t mean _that_ kinda drink, Sam.” He licked his lips and swallowed.

Sam's eyes were immediately drawn to Alorest's lips, then they flicked up to the black orbs staring back at him. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was just certain things were usually inevitable after he had.

"Right now?" Sam asked, rubbing his eyes with his palms, stepping a little closer to the demon.

“You’ve been without it for two weeks, an’ just had me covered in it, in front of you,” Alorest breathed, “Aren’t you _hungry_?” Normally, Sam would’ve been all over him, smothering him with that familiar lust in his eyes, it was unusual, not to have it like that.

Sam thought back to what his brother's lifeless body looked like sprawled out on the mattress and felt his stomach clench. "Two weeks staring at Dean's body," He responded, no heat in his voice, "Went through the worst of the withdrawals after about the first week. So yeah, I'm _hungry_. I'm just not looking forward to going through that again."

“Lookin’ forward to what?” Alorest asked in confusion, “Goin’ through it again? Havin’ me bein’ pulled out again like that? It won’t happen. Second I get a chance, I’m burnin’ a lock into my arm, m’not gonna chance that again.”

"I don't know," Sam answered, shrugging as he grabbed the hem of Alorest's shirt, "Losing you, the withdrawal, having to look at his body while you were gone. I don't think I can handle it again."

“You don’t trust me,” The demon felt the lurch of his stomach, the nerves tingle in his arms and he took a step back from Sam. Distrust was set between them, and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. He’d been grateful to have his brother’s trust before, but he didn’t realize just how rough it’d feel, not having it anymore.

Sam shook his head and used Alorest's shirt to pull him back in towards him, "I trust you just fine. It's just..." He sighed, "I can't- I mean, It was Hell without you. I was constantly worrying where you were, if you were okay or if you were even coming back. **Two weeks**. Two weeks of driving myself insane. I'm trying to snap out of it, really, I am. Trying to convince myself that you're really here and that you won't leave again, I'm trying."

Alorest looked down between them, to his feet, “I didn’t exactly enjoy it either. It’s not somethin’ I wanna repeat again.”

He couldn’t explain how he felt. He was conflicted, he was having a hard time actually trusting Dean Winchester’s brother now. He’d given it so easily before, knowing the younger Winchester, but now he’d seen how much it could hurt, to trust Sam, and to fear that it would be broken, he wasn’t entirely ready to give it out so easily again.

"I never said you **did** enjoy it," Sam said as he shook his head, his voice still soft, "I was just telling you how I felt," He nosed along the demon's temple, "Sorry." The conversation had taken off in a different direction than intended, and Sam, quite frankly, was too exhausted to argue.

The demon pulled away again, moving to the bed and taking the pizza into the kitchen, putting it away for when Sam woke up. He walked back into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the mattress and pulling on his boots. It probably wasn’t worth the time, to wait, to chance being yanked back out again, though he doubted Azazel would do it; but there was bound to be some sort of body shop within the area.

Sam watched after Alorest as he moved about the room, confused more than anything, "Where're you going?"

“Gonna get the lock tattoo’d in,” Alorest said as he tied his shoes and stood, grabbing the keys from where Sam had left them, right on top of the duffel-bags on the table by the door, “You don’t trust me enough to drink, so the quicker I get this done, the sooner you drink, sooner you get to bed, right?”

"I'll drink," Sam retorted as he tried straightening his back, crossing his arms over his chest feebly, "I trust you, I told you that. Why are you acting like this? I'm just tired is all, and that-your blood's just gonna make me want you even more."

“ _I don’t have a better idea, Sam_ ,” Alorest hissed as he turned to the younger Winchester, eyes completely black and the lights in the room flickered for a moment before the one over head blew out completely, “You’re tired, you’re thirsty, an’ I could get pushed back out again. Neither of us is really in the state to **fuck** right now, _I don’t know what else to do_.”

Sam put his hands up as he backed away, "Please don't go, not right now. We'll both go later after I get some sleep, just-just pour some into a cup or something. Maybe I won't want to fuck you stupid that way, I don't know."

Alorest nodded as he set down the keys and walked back into the kitchen, taking one of the simple cheap motel cups from the counter and moving back to the bed again. He didn’t bother with a knife, digging his nails into his wrist before holding it over the glass. He kept his eyes downcast, away from Sam as the blood drizzled along the sides of the cup, slowly filling it.

Sam watched as the blood dribbled out of Alorest and into the cup, licking his lips as he felt that foreign ache of _want, want, want_. It felt like it had been forever and just the idea of feeling it within himself, feeling the strength, had his mouth watering for it.

The demon handed over the glass to Sam finally, filling it to the brim before turning up his wrist and holding his hand underneath it to catch the rest as he stood and moved to the bathroom.

Sam held the glass beneath his mouth, inhaling the warm copper scent before downing it. It was disappointing in a way, not drinking it the way he usually did - inevitably making him miss the closeness that usually came along with it. The blood itself wasn't like and energy drink though, it didn't take a little while to kick in - once consumed, it was effective immediately; strengthening from the inside out.

Alorest rinsed his wrist clean, washing his hands together finally and watching the blood pour down into the drain as he healed. He didn’t like giving over his blood to Sam so... _anticlimactically_. It had always felt more like a ritual; intimate, deeper, and pouring it in a cup to feed Sam’s hunger felt almost wasteful. He turned back to lean against the bathroom door frame, “Better, I’m guessin’?”

"Yeah," Sam said as he moved to sit the glass on the counter, his voice sounding more alert, "It's not the same though."

“Not much I can do to fix that,” The demon responded, watching Sam before he looked away and crossed his arms over his chest, “Did you want more?”

"Of course I do," Sam answered honestly as he moved to the bed to sit on the edge of it, "But I don't want it in a cup, so maybe it's not a good idea." The demon was being short with him and instead of getting angry like he usually would, he just kept his mouth shut, because in all honesty, it fucking hurt.

Alorest nodded and walked over as well, kicking his shoes off once more as he sat down with his hands in his lap, directly beside Sam, “Right, probably not. Sleep... then?” It was odd, unusual, but he felt sort of nervous, with the idea of Sam going to sleep. He’d be left to stay here, waiting for the younger Winchester to wake up again.

"I need to," Sam leaned into Alorest instinctively, "Think I've had about ten hours total these past two weeks." God, he didn't want to though. If anything, he wanted to stay up and make up for the time lost.

Alorest waved his arm, pushing the comforter halfway down the bed before he shifted, settling near the center of the bed with his back propped against the headboard, “You should.” He swallowed and watched the younger Winchester as he tucked his legs under the comforter and waited.

Sam stood up and dropped his pants, them being the only item of clothing he really had on aside from his boxers and climbed up under the covers. "You laying with me?" Sam asked, a small, hopeful grin tugging at his lips. The last time they laid together was the day Azazel had summoned Alorest and just thinking about it had his chest aching.

The demon smiled back and nodded, “Yeah.” He felt a suffocating twist in his chest as he changed the positions of the pillows and his eyes wandered over Sam’s broad chest. Odd, how two weeks had felt like an eternity, but it had also been the first time they were separated from one another - they being Alorest and Sam - Dean had been pulled away numerous times, but this was new, and he didn’t like it. He had every intention of making sure it didn't happen again.

Sam had pulled the covers up to his hips before rolling to his side, he reached out and wrapped an arm around Alorest and tugged him closer, "Come here." It was nice having the demon next to him - even though he didn't have to be, considering he never really slept anyway.

Alorest turned into the larger man, running his nose along Sam’s neck as he breathed the younger Winchester in.

“Missed this,” He admitted, kissing Sam’s jaw, chin, and then lips as their legs laced together. A good portion of his time was spent getting use to Sam, learning the other man as intimately as possible; trying to understand him. It was something he’d missed and, though Alorest’s memory was impeccable, he had a tendency to question things multiple times, to re-understand them over and over. And he considered a lot of his emotions for Sam to come unconditionally, he questioned those as well because, while unconditional love and acceptance was nice to have, it also had a tendency to cause deep, **deep** hurts.

"Me too," Sam rested his hand on the demon's hip, sighing happily as he returned the affections, "Missed you so much." He kissed Alorest's cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead and then finally his lips, drawing it out as his eyes began to burn. Only now, now that he had Alorest back, could he fully relax and allow himself to sleep.

Alorest rolled onto his back, pulling Sam along to rest his head on the demon’s chest and his arms folded around the younger Winchester, holding him close. “Go ahead an’ sleep, I’ll be right here, I promise," He whispered into the darkness, kissing the top of Sam's head.

Sam wrapped one arm around Alorest's midsection firmly, trying to make sure that he stayed. The warmth was wonderful, something he never thought much on before, but it was nice. Sam closed his eyes, sleep pulling him under even faster now that his lover was holding him.

"I love you," He murmured before dozing off completely, his voice no more than a whisper.

“I love you too,” The demon breathed, just barely, through the black of the night, and his hand ran carefully through Sam’s hair, eyes locked on the younger Winchester as he slept.

He laid there through the hours, watching Sam, holding him tightly and touching him here and there, fingers ghosting the larger man’s features, running over his lips. He stayed in silence, listening to the world around him, listening to Sam’s heart beating against his side, listening to the hollow lack of his own. Dean would never have another heart beat again, he’d never breathe, or sneeze, or feel hunger, but if Alorest had a heart, he was sure that, right now, and all through the night, it would’ve been thrumming wildly, like a humming bird.

He let Sam sleep through most of the next day as well, not bothering to wake him until late afternoon, and he did so by rolling them over and peppering kisses along the expanse of the younger Winchester’s throat, fingers running through Sam’s bangs as he did so.

Sam was roused by the feel of warm lips on his skin, the weight of the demon making him groan sleepily as he wrapped his arms around him. The time he'd gotten was more than necessary. It left him feeling well rested, almost like a new person and he was thankful for it.

The position they were in made it difficult for Sam to hide his erection. He wasn't even sure if it was just his morning wood or if it was from the attention Alorest was showing him, but he was willing to bet it was the latter.

“Mornin’,” The demon whispered as he planted open-mouthed kisses down Sam’s chest, his thumb running through the scruff of the younger Winchester’s jaw, “You’re very fuzzy. When was the last time you shaved?”

"Before you left," Sam chuckled and rubbed his face against Alorest's, his arms holding the demon still so that he couldn't move away, "What's the matter, don't like it?" He rolled them both so that he was on top of Alorest, grinning at him as he ground his hips down suggestively.

Alorest moaned in appreciation as his legs spread out of reflex, “Mm, I prefer you shaved, for the most part, but m’ fine with it, f’you wan’it that way.” He stared up into Sam’s eyes as his own cock began to stiffen.

Sam kissed his way down the demon's throat, tongue coming out slightly to taste him as he grabbed the smaller man's hips firmly, rolling his hips against him again, "Maybe I should go shave then."

“F’you think you **can** ,” The demon chuckled, grinning as his waist rocked up into Sam’s crotch. It was a nice change from the day before, amazing what sleep could do to humans, and Alorest would never know what that was like.

Sam's dick gave an interested twitch as he kissed his way back up the demon's neck and pressed his lips to Alorest's, "You think you're that irresistible?" It was a stupid question, but Sam was trying to tease a little bit. One thing their relationship didn't have enough of was just that.

He brought Alorest's bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled, grinding himself against the demon a little harder.

Alorest chuckled and moaned aloud, overacting it only slightly, because he was normally under some sense of control, “Sam,” He breathed, kiss swollen lips wet from spit as he parted them and arched into the younger Winchester’s body, “Need you, Sammy.” He didn’t mind turning it up a notch, being ridiculous for Sam, as long as it was both pleasurable and amusing to him.

Sam's eyes lit up humorously and he laughed, feeling almost intoxicated by the fact that the demon was comfortable enough to act like this with him.

"I got you, baby," Sam responded dramatically, his smile fading slightly as he hitched the demon's thigh up on his hip and ran his other hand up under his shirt, running his fingertips over Alorest's nipples.

The demon let out a pleasantly startled, choked gasp as he stared into Sam’s eyes, his own half-lidded as they turned black, “Do though, _need you_.” He drug his nails down the younger Winchester’s back and leaned up to kiss Sam’s lips and cheeks, “Been too long.”

Sam leaned back on his calves and looked down at Alorest, the smile completely gone and now replaced with what he was hoping was coming across as lust. He fumbled with the demon's jeans, unbuttoning them and trying to get them down over his hips in a rush; his own cock throbbing from wanting nothing more than to be balls deep inside of him.

The demon's black eyes heightened his arousal as he gazed down into them, only looking away long enough to fully pull the smaller man's jeans off. It would've been more convenient if Alorest had stripped down before joining him in bed.

Alorest was at a loss for words, the large man above him undressing him, literally, the large hands pulling away the clothes and the demon reached down to push his boxer-briefs along as well. He was almost shaking with excitement, having forgotten just how he got during sex with Sam.

It was amusing, even to himself, how he responded to the younger Winchester - the nerves out of his control, his soul use to torment, not pleasure, and though he was far more aged than Sam, he was still able to be affected this way.

Sam leaned down and kissed Alorest's soft stomach, grinning at the way the skin gave way to his lips. He nosed the shirt up as he kissed along his chest.

"Get this off," Sam tugged the shirt up a little further, bringing two of his own fingers into his mouth impatiently, licking between them and soaking them with saliva. He pressed another kiss to the demon's torso, open mouthed and more heated as he brought his hand down between them, circling the tight entrance with the tip of his finger before pushing it in.

One thing was for sure, Alorest was right, it **had** been too long, and Sam found it difficult to hang on to what little patience he had left.

The demon responded at once, taking off the shirt and slinging it along the sheets, body arching into his brother’s touch as he moaned again, “Sammy.” His body would never grow worn against the pressure inside of him, though he was use to it, and could relax, the moment sex was finished, he’d be just as tight as when he started, and that knowledge caused his dull nails to dig into Sam’s shoulder, “Please.”

"Fuck," Sam whimpered against Alorest's skin as he began pumping his finger in and out of him, adding a second after a minute or two, "M'tryin' to hurry." He was in such a rush his words were even coming out slurred together. The familiar heat squeezing his fingers was making him so achingly hard he could feel pre-come spilling out against his boxers.

“Just need you, like I can’t breathe,” Alorest licked his lips, watching the younger Winchester impatiently. It was frustrating, how much time it took to prepare, the complications. All he wanted was for Sam to be inside of him, filling him to the brim; to be complete.

"Need you too," Sam admitted just as he pushed a third finger in, his mouth hanging open as he watched himself spread the demon with his fingers, "Christ, do I ever."

With his free hand, Sam halfheartedly pushed his boxers down, just enough to free himself from them before spitting in his hand and rubbing it along his shaft. Sam pulled his fingers out of Alorest and quickly lined his hips up - pressing the plush, blunt tip at the demon's entrance as he began to slide in.

“Sam,” Alorest stared up at him as his eyes widened, black as night and watered slightly as his cheeks flushed red. He was close, so close to finally being complete, so close to being able to give Sam what he needed. It was the demon’s purpose in life and it was almost overwhelming during sex, to be able to supply Sam with something that he didn’t want from any other person, to please him, to be pleased **by** him. He relaxed his body against the cock pressing into him, welcoming the length as if it were made for him.

Sam let his head roll back as the heat encompassed him, making him grunt as the warm, velvet squeezed his length. No matter how often they did this, Alorest was **always** breathtakingly tight. Sam pulled out a little and thrust back in, his breathing becoming labored in no time at all. He wasn't wasting any time, unleashing all of his pent up lust and longing on the demon - he knew Alorest could take it, and would want it.

It was sharp curls of pleasure that spiked through Alorest’s body, long thrills of teasing pressure and a twisting burn that he could only relate to the swallow of warm coffee, heating up the ends of him that he couldn’t feel.

“Sam,” He shuddered out as if his brother had him up against a slab of ice. His right hand moved, fingers scrabbling over his nipple in an odd way, miscellaneous in nature, eliciting little sounds from his mouth as his other hand ran through Sam’s hair.

The younger Winchester leaned into the demon's touch, sighing contently as his hips pistoned - sliding himself in and out of the older man. There were times during the past week when everything caught up with him, startled him with the reality that Alorest might not come back. It shook him up, helped him see where his priorities were.

Sam tilted his head downwards and rested his lips just above where Alorest's heart should've been beating, his shaggy hair coming down and shadowing his face as his eyes watered. It twisted him up inside to think that he could've lost this.

Alorest watched the younger Winchester longingly, his pitch black eyes softening as Sam kissed him. Every time Sam acted out one of these very... very _human_ gestures, it brought him back through Dean’s life, and he felt that familiar stab of hunger, the want of attention. He felt like Sam never gave him what he really wanted, but he also felt that it was partly his **own** fault; and maybe not so much Sam’s, after all. Dean was the one who’d kept his brother at arms length, never getting close, never letting Sam in.

But Alorest wanted to, Alorest wanted to let Sam into every inch of him, every opening, every pore. Dean had wanted to as well, but he’d never let himself have that, he never felt as if he’d deserved it. But he’d blinded himself from the heart of the matter.

Dean lived to do Sam’s bidding, and so did Alorest, it was their purpose, and Sam had **wanted** this. Dean had failed to notice that their wants, their needs, their hungers, were one in the same. _I pushed him away, because I was scared; I’ve never been so scared in my life. And it was of... Myself._

“Sam, I,” It was Alorest, just barely, and he touched the younger Winchester’s cheek, “I can feel him.”

Sam looked up through his bangs, eyes still glistening wet as he searched the demon's face for something else. He'd been without him for over two weeks and now that they were coming together - and now that Sam had a chance to show him how much he missed him; the demon was involving Dean.

Of course, it was almost impossible to not involve him, with Alorest looking exactly like him and all. But it was still sort of difficult to deal with, especially when he'd done his best to attach himself to the demon, and not the false hope of his brother coming back.

It really wasn't so bad, because, in all honesty - and he'd never say it out loud to the demon (because he's made that mistake before and the creature is touchy) - but there were certain things the demon did that had Dean written all over it, almost as if the two of them were one in the same.

Sam blinked and parted his mouth, almost at a loss for what to say, he didn't want to fuck this up. "He can wait, okay?" He almost choked on the words, it felt like his heart was actually breaking in two, "This is about us - **you** and me."

“No, I know that,” Alorest breathed as he touched Sam’s lips with his thumb, watching the pain on Sam’s face, “I know you love me, but you love him too an’... An’ I’m... Not... Afraid of that, anymore. He’s here, still here, an’ I thought you... Should... Know that.”

The demon noted the tear slip down his cheek as he felt warmth fill his insides, a set of hands, over his claws, to keep the remains of their soul held together. It was this, the closeness with Sam, watching him, feeling the lips, the care and concern, these moments made him feel complete, made him feel the hands - Dean’s - fingers lacing between his claws as if to say ‘I’ve got you’.

“My god,” The demon whispered numbly. It hurt, more than anything, to actually feel Dean there, it was instant pain and torture, but also comfort; _warmth_. Maybe even - happiness.

Sam nodded almost mindlessly, agreeing to what the demon was saying, because it was true. There was no conceivable way he'd ever stop loving Dean, none at all. A sense of peace washed over him, knowing that Alorest knew that and he understood. Sam pursed his lips to feel the pad of the demon's finger on his lips while he lifted his own hand - his thumb caressing the freckles across his brother's cheek, just beneath his eye.

"Thank you," Sam's voice got caught on a sob, his bottom lip and chin quivering as he pressed his lips to Alorest's.

Alorest kissed back, heated, rushed, breathless as he wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck. He wanted this to be about them, he’d keep this moment as his and Sam’s. But, he hoped, in the future, he could give Dean to the younger Winchester, for longer than a glance, longer than a **mention**. Sam deserved it, after everything he’d given to the demon. He wasn’t really afraid of dying anymore, of becoming nothing. He’d had this, he’d felt like this, and moving on would be easy in comparison.

Dean deserved Sam, and though Alorest felt the curls of protection and claim wanting to wrap around the younger Winchester and pull him tight, he’d let Sam go, as long as Dean would be there to catch him.

Sam let his mouth rest on Alorest's, hot puffs of air exiting his mouth and entering the demon's as he panted - his pace picked back up, hips undulating in and out of Alorest. Part of him loved the arms wrapped around him, it made him feel good, protected, wanted even.

"Don't," Sam whimpered, his brows creased as he pushed his body closer, his right hand placed firmly on Alorest's hip, "Don't let go of me." In a way, his words had more than one meaning. It felt good, naturally, but Sam would try to be an anchor for the demon - if he needed it, Sam would be there to bring him back from the proverbial edge if he ever lost himself in all of the madness.

‘ _But someone has to give way, eventually_ ,’ Alorest felt the words inside of him, like a caress, “It’s not really letting go,” the demon managed out, trying to smile through his tears. He knew he wasn’t normal, wasn’t human; wasn’t right. He knew he was broken, and he knew that Sam still loved him, but the younger Winchester deserved Dean, not this tattered shadow, doppelganger, interloper - this scarred alien form. It would hurt to let Sam go, when the time came, but Alorest knew he’d do it; in a heartbeat, to give way for Dean.

“I love you,” The demon shivered the words as more tears spilled, “I love you so much, I would...” _give you him_ , “-give you anything. I would-” _let go, to give you Dean._ He dropped his head back, body shaking as he came, and the black pools of his eyes flashed once before staying as he stared at Sam, the ink of them deepening as he smiled sadly.

Sam's orgasm caught him by surprise, ripped right through him with the demon's words. The weakness he felt in his body was almost instantaneous, causing his arms to give out, leaving him drawing in shaky breaths as he laid his head on Alorest's chest. "I love you, too," Sam whispered, lifting his head enough to look the demon in the eyes, "You know I'd do the same for you - do anything, give you anything, everything I could."

“I already have everythin’ I’ve ever wanted,” not including the revenge, the deaths of Lilith and Azazel, but he didn’t need to say those for Sam to know it.

“You don’t have to do anything Sam, or give me anything in turn, not ever,” Alorest said as his lips shook. _All you’ve gotta do, is let me go, when the time comes._ He didn’t say it, he didn’t want to ruin the moment. Instead, he rolled them over and pressed his shaking, unsure lips to the younger Winchester’s forehead as he breathed, as he fought his tears back, even though he wanted to sob like he’d never done before.

When Bobby had said he didn’t have self-worth, didn’t have the right to make choices, maybe he was right. Alorest had never felt so worthless, so sacrificial, until now; but it didn’t bother him. He could live those decisions or, technically, not live at all.


	13. Chapter 11

Sam had went with Alorest to get the lock tattooed, the demon not even flinching at all as the needle crossed his skin. Sam just kept his distance and grinned at him, it wasn't a big tattoo, so it took next to no time at all to finish.

The ride back to the motel was quiet, just a lot of eye fucking and squirming on Sam's part - his entire body aching for the demon, there was too much to make up for.

When they got back, Sam crowded the demon without a warning - he had to have known it was coming though from the looks Sam had been giving him in the Impala. He pushed Alorest's coat off of his shoulders eagerly, his hands moving to the hem of the demon's shirt and then up under as he pushed him back onto the bed.

Sam took the knife from his pocket and flicked it open, moving to cover the demon's body with his own, knife pressing firmly to Alorest's jugular. It had been so long since they'd gotten to do this, to share this sort of odd intimacy, the demon gladly giving himself to Sam so wholly.

The copper dribbled down the demon's neck, Sam's hooded hazel eyes locking with Alorest's black momentarily before he dipped down and covered the cut with his mouth - sucking gently, drinking his lover's blood to make himself stronger.

Alorest gasped as he arched into Sam, his body bowing, hands clasping the younger Winchester’s shoulders as he tilted his head back, “Sam,” He breathed, feeling the familiar tingles over his frame. Goddamn, he missed this so much. It felt like forever since their last time, he’d almost forgotten how excited it made him. He was feeling the effects already, cock jumping in surprised approval, pressing firm against the front of his jeans.

The demon moved his hands, grasping at the back of his brother’s neck. He opened his eyes as he felt an unusual twinge, eyes locked on his hands as they shifted into claws before his very eyes. Sam wouldn’t have noticed, but it bothered something in Alorest. It’d never happened before, and he was unsure why it was now, but he tried to ignore it, turning his attention back to the hungry man above him, “Sammy.”

Sam had tossed the knife on the floor, too engrossed in the demon to bother with closing it and putting it back. With his cock full and throbbing incessantly against the restricting denim, he grinded against Alorest as he pulled back to look at him, blood smearing his lips as he breathed heavily before leaning in and kissing him. It was such an underestimated action - kissing - and it was something he knew he'd never take for granted again.

A loud bang startled Sam, catching him completely off guard as he jerked back to look towards the door. Lilith barged in with four or five of her goons, flicking her wrist out and throwing Sam off of Alorest and into a wall, giving him no time to brace himself. The initial blow to the motel wall wasn't as bad as he would've expected, the old ones gave in easily.

Sam winced and tried gathering his thoughts as quickly as possible. This was bad, really bad - they didn't even really have a game plan for this. But lo and behold, there was Lilith, already starting to twist her hand, preparing another blow directed towards Sam.

Alorest stood at once, eyes black, the lights in the room flickering until blowing entirely, spraying glass through the room and nicking Alorest on the side of the cheek as he held his hand out, the form of it changing into the green, scaled claw of his demon form as he pushed back against Lilith’s power. He wasn’t nearly as strong as her, yet, but Sam was - _thankfully_ \- somewhat juiced up to help even the odds. He was still excited from the sex, blood dripping down his neck and onto his shirt, blossoming through the blue color like a flower of dark crimson.

Sam could feel the fresh demon blood coursing through him, lighting his veins on fire as he stood, wiping the blood from his mouth as Lilith laughed, shrill and condescending - not once lowering her hand as she looked at both of them.

"Oh boys, did I interrupt something?" The white eyed bitch practically cooed at them, the mocking grin leaving, only to be replaced by a scowl as she fought Alorest.

Sam glanced at Alorest, feeling his heart pound wildly in his chest as he put his hand out, hand twisting in a crippling manner. Being freshly juiced definitely had its perks, he was able to take all of her men down without so much as breaking a sweat, bodies dropping to the floor all around her.

Sam moved swiftly, stepping in front of Alorest to protect him, hardly even thinking twice about it as he reached deeper within himself, pulling up every bit of power he had.

The younger Winchester grimaced, strain evident from the protruding vein in his forehead, he twisted his hand a little more and heard a loud scream just as Lilith dropped to her knees. She wasn't down completely, but she was weakened, giving them the upper hand. Sam curled his fingers tightly, making a fist as blood trickled from his nose, sending Lilith to her knees.

“Sammy,” Alorest said from behind the taller Winchester, his hand reaching out to touch his brother’s lower back as he moved in close, “You don’t have to, I can help.” He should’ve known to expect this from Sam, he was always so adamant about protecting Alorest some times, you’d think he was actually stronger, with the way he treated the demon, standing before him as if playing Alorest’s shield.

Lilith began begging when she realized it was over, and that she'd lost.

The sound of her voice was grating on Sam's nerves almost instantly and his body began to shake as he pulled Lilith's smoke up out of her vessel's body and looked over his shoulder to Alorest.

"All yours," Sam said, voice ragged and exhausted sounding as he wiped the blood streaming from his nose - he stumbled backwards as the corners of his vision darkened, blacking everything out until he couldn't see any more.

Alorest reached out instinctively, catching Sam in his grip as he commanded the bright white, billowing smoke throughout the room into himself - where it belonged. He turned, setting his brother carefully on the bed as he leaned down and listened to the sound of his brother’s heart, racing like a hummingbird inside of his chest.

The demon straightened, turning to the bodies and putting a warning barrier on the room before he hauled each one up, packing them into the Impala within the darkness of the night.

He could feel the ghostly fingers of Dean’s settling over his as he drove, as he took care of each lifeless corpse, and as he returned to the motel room. Dean was worried for his brother, and so was Alorest. He could feel that deep, familiar longing coursing through him, Dean reminding him of what it was like before Hell, before he could actually touch Sam.

It felt like the older Winchester was saying ‘enjoy this while you have it, remember that, because we’ve fought a lot to get it back’.

Alorest locked the door back up and returned to his brother’s side, a wet wash rag in his hand, warmed from the bathroom tap as he reached out and cleaned the blood from Sam’s face. He spent the rest of the time carefully cleaning the room of glass and watching his brother as patiently as was expected of him.

When Sam's vision returned, it was painfully obvious that he'd passed out, memories of Lilith's sharp screams flooding in making him shoot straight up - which was probably a horrible idea, if the intense throbbing in his head was anything to go by.

He looked around the room, which was now spotless. Alorest must have put some work in, making sure the room looked just as it was. Sam slung his legs over the bed and attempted to stand, vision still a little blurry as he struggled to find his center of balance.

"Alorest?" Sam called out, concern thick in his voice as he used the demon's name for the first time in what felt like forever.

“Careful, hey,” Alorest moved and caught Sam up in his arms, his palm flat on his brother’s back as he pulled him in, “You shouldn’t be moving so much.” He couldn’t help the overwhelming fear welling up inside of him, Dean’s insecurities about his brother’s injuries, the other parts of him whispering out a thrum of ‘protect, support, sooth’.

Sam closed his eyes and leaned into the demon's body, arms wrapping around the smaller man to hold him tight as he whispered in his ear, "Tell me she's gone, that I killed her."

The thought of Lilith actually managing to get away damn near made his blood boil. He'd move Heaven and Earth just to find her, make sure she went down. He just wanted it all to be over, he wanted to be content and to not have to worry if he was going to lose Alorest, or if Alorest was going to lose him. And with Lilith out of the picture, it only left Azazel and Alastair - both of which who were sure to be stronger and more of a challenge.

“You did, you got her, Sammy,” Alorest responded at once, hugging his brother back, “And I managed to consume her just as you blacked out, I’m... A lot stronger, to say the least.”

He chuckled nervously, “How do you feel?” He had to ask, had to be sure, parts of him needed to know, more than anything, before he could actually relax and try to concentrate on anything else.

"I'm fine," Sam said, pulling back enough to grab Alorest's face with his hands to pull him into a frantic, eager kiss, "I'll be okay."

Sam felt relieved to know that she was gone and that Alorest had benefited from it, the demon needed the strength, especially if he had to take down Azazel by himself. They'd cross that bridge when they got there though. Sam couldn't even fathom just standing by and not helping.

Alorest breathed easier, hands settling on Sam’s sides as he pressed his forehead to his brother’s, closing his eyes and kissing the taller man carefully, “Good. We’re probably safe here for the night, considering others might either think we wouldn’t stay and would’ve just moved on, or the fact that we just took out Lilith will probably make them more hesitant. But we should leave tomorrow, before noon.”

"Whenever you wanna leave, we'll go," Sam murmured, his thumbs brushing the demon's cheeks.

It was probably a good thing that they **did** take out Lilith, they didn't need a shitload of demons on their tails anyway. They needed time to settle in somewhere new, to figure out what would come next.

“We’ll leave in the mornin’, it’s fine, you need your rest,” Alorest breathed softly, fingers skirting over the skin above his brother’s jeans, “I don’t want you stressin’ yourself anymore, Sam, I could’a helped with Lilith an’ taken her out as well, trust me... I’ve got plenty of stored power.” He leaned in, brushing his nose against Sam’s, “Neither of us is alone in this, Sammy.”

"I know, It's just-" Sam paused, brushing his lips against Alorest's as he backed the demon up against a wall gently, "You're always taking care of me and I-I wanted to do that for you, show you that I'm capable."

Sam brushed the pad of his thumb across the demon's bottom lip, thinking about all the times Dean had saved him, constantly looking out for him. He wasn't reminiscing on purpose, it just wasn't possible to think about someone protecting him without thinking of Dean.

Alorest leaned into Sam’s touch, his eyes closing as he smiled softly, “I know, baby boy, I know,” He found himself saying, the words coming more out of Dean than himself. He took Sam’s hand in his, kissing the hollow of the other man’s palm as he breathed, “I know you’re capable, trust me. But I don’t wanna see you fadin’ out when it’s not necessary. You only go that far if you absolutely must, you have to promise me that."

"I promise," Sam said, eyes following Alorest's lips on his hand as he slotted his hips against the demon's, his free hand gripping Alorest's waist firmly, "I just didn't want anything to happen to you. Sounds stupid, considering you'd heal better than I would."

“I would,” Alorest agreed, looking up suddenly, his eyes black as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Sam’s. Though he didn’t need to breathe, he did so anyways, taking in the solid, hard smell of the younger Winchester.

He felt the unfamiliar tugging inside of him, the parts of Dean, longing to take over, eager, desperate, almost begging for a chance. Alorest could’ve fought it, could’ve resisted, but he chose not to. He’d promised them both, he didn’t need to be, as long as Sam was happy. And he knew Sam would be - with Dean - more so than with himself. He had to trust the older Winchester to give him back control, when it needed to happen.

Sam tilted his head to deepen the kiss, lips moving forcefully, hungry almost against Alorest's - pulling the demon's hips towards him as he pressed forward, rubbing himself against the smaller man. _Nothing like a near death experience to make you wanna fuck_ , Sam thought, moving his hand up under the demon's shirt to act on it - blunt nails dragging against Alorest's nipple.

Dean blinked his eyes open, nearly stuttering in the action before he pressed into his brother. Goddamn, how he’d wanted this, how almost taken aback he was by the sheer force of his brother, the strong body pushing into him, the hand on Dean’s chest and he gasped at the wave of lust as the younger Winchester touched one of his most sensitive features.

He moaned uncontrollably, reaching up and grabbing Sam’s face, yanking him down for easier access before he pushed back, hips grinding against Sam, rolling into him desperately.

Sam tugged on the demon's shirt, anxious and impatient to be skin on skin, to continue what was rudely interrupted before Lilith showed up - he lifted the cotton up over Alorest's head and delved in for another lip-smacking kiss while his hands roamed the bare expanse of flesh.

"Never did get to finish earlier," Sam smirked, his hips still rolling and rubbing against the demon's erection.

“Sam,” Dean breathed, his head dropping back against the wall. He felt the tears prick but fought them back, grabbing Sam’s chin and forcing the taller man to look into his eyes, the green irises staring back at Sam - dilated, but still clearly green - as he struggled to sustain a smile.

His heart was racing, his cock was so hard that he was having a difficult time slowing them both, but he needed his brother to understand the change, “Sammy, it’s me.”

Sam's motions almost faltered at once, eyes wide as he stared at his... **brother** , in shock, "Dean?"

The younger Winchester felt his chest tighten, the longing for his older brother surfacing after staunching the want for so long. It was a gift, Alorest was giving this to him, but it hurt in the oddest way. Sam cupped Dean's face in his hand, tears welling in his eyes as he pressed his forehead to the shorter man's.

“Yeah, hey,” Dean closed his eyes, one hand moving to cradle the back of Sam’s head, the other settling on the younger Winchester’s waist, “Goddamn, I’ve missed touchin’ you.”

He tilted his head, kissing Sam fiercely, hands clasping at his brother. Sitting in the back seat while the tattered parts of himself took control wasn’t something he entirely enjoyed, but he needed it. He hated how split up he was inside, but he wasn’t really capable of taking control until he’d given in, until the other parts of him had given up.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling his brother's chest to his so tight it almost hurt, short shallow breaths sounding like sobs against Dean's lips as a couple of tears fell. It felt like a dream more than anything, and he knew it would end just like one, leaving his mind reeling - wondering if it was real or not, if he actually got to hold **Dean**.

"I've missed you," He murmured, voice shaky as he tilted his head back to peer into his brother's green eyes, "Jesus Christ, Dean. I miss you so much."

Dean laughed, “Goddamn, boy, you’re as bad as I am,” He said, touching Sam’s cheek, “You can’t miss me, I been here this whole time, don’t you see that?” He leaned in, running his nose against the side of Sam’s, “You been fightin’ ‘long side me this whole time, an’ sleepin’ with me. It’s _me_ , baby boy, it’s all **really** me, I just... Goddamn, it’s so hard to explain.”

He chuckled as tears filled his own eyes, “I’m so broken even parts of me don’t think that they're me. Trust me, Sammy, it’s all me. I just get a little locked up inside myself. I’m sorry for puttin’ you through this. It’s messed up, I’m messed up an’ I can’t fix it.”

Sam nodded solemnly, staring Dean in the eyes, a slow, sad smile forming, "I knew it! That's what I've been saying this whole time but-but you kept telling me otherwise."

The younger Winchester kissed the corner of his brother's eye, nosing at his temple, "I knew it was you. Damn, you can be pretty adamant though. I've been believing it lately, that you and he are two different people. Definitely seems like it sometimes."

“After over three hundred years of fighting through Hell, people **do** change, trust me,” Dean found himself smiling wider, proud of Sam for trying to remain static, “It’s bad, Sam, really bad. I was broken before, but whatever deal I made with Azazel to come back up here really did a number on me. You have no idea how confusin’ it is when another part of you doesn’t think he’s you, an' insists he isn’t worthy. I’m givin’ up, that part of me is the strongest one I got, an’ it’s fadin’.”

He touched Sam’s cheek, breath speeding up as he leaned in as close as he could, the bridge of his nose touching Sam’s jawline, “Alorest, f’that’s less confusin’ for you, that part of me still is convinced you love me more, that you’d prefer me, you have to let him know. You’re doin’ so good so far, baby boy. You been doin’ real good, but don’t you let me slip for just a second, keep tellin’ me it’s not like that, an’ I’ll keep doin’ it from my end. I’ve got a hold on me a couple’a times. Can I just say, I’m the most stubborn jackass outta the Winchesters?”

It was a lot to take in, but everything Dean was telling him helped put things in perspective. Sam would continue on like he had been, staying persistent about his feelings for both Alorest and Dean - even though they were both one in the same.

The younger Winchester laughed almost nervously before kissing Dean, drawing it out, letting his lips linger against his brother's, "Considering there's only two of us left, I'd have to agree, you are pretty stubborn."

“We can talk more later, I’m sure I’ve got control, ‘til I choose to give it back,” Dean ran the hand on Sam’s waist up, over the expanse of his brother’s solid stomach before dipping down, under the hem of his shirt to touch the warmed skin underneath, “I been wantin’ to do this for a while now.” He licked his lips, his other hand joining the first to take the shirt completely off of Sam before he leaned in and pressed his mouth to the larger man’s chest.

Sam's breathing hitched as he looked down at Dean, his palms moving to smooth over the dust of freckles along the older man's shoulder's, kissing the top of his brother's head. It felt so surreal, to have intimate time like this with Dean. The younger Winchester wasn't really sure how it would differ from normal, wasn't positive it'd be any different at all.

He let his palms slide down the older man's biceps and forearms, finger tips brushing Dean's skin delicately just under the waist of his jeans as they inched closer to the button and zipper.

Dean arched against his brother, mouth closing over Sam’s left nipple, licking over the bud before he moved, kissing the younger Winchester’s matching tattoo as one hand slid up to tangle in Sam’s bangs, the other pressing passed the line of the larger man’s jeans, finger tips ghosting over his soft pubic hair.

He pressed his lips to Sam’s ear, “Do you know how long I been wantin’ this, Sammy? Been wantin’ you to fuck me ‘til I couldn’t stand no more? Alorest might’a told you, but lemme put a strain on’at. I been wantin’ it for a long, **long** time.”

" **Fuck** ," Sam grit out, clenching his jaw and trying to keep himself in control as he pushed his brother's pants down passed his hips, nose pressing into the side of the older man's neck, "It's nice to hear you say it."

The younger Winchester leaned back to look into his brother's jade green eyes, his expression fleeting back and forth from ecstatic to almost sad as he struggled with his words, "We were both so fucking stupid before, you know that?"

“Yeah we were, are you kiddin’ me? I can’t name how many times I fingered myself in a goddamn bathroom stall, just to calm myself down,” Dean smirked mischievously, pushing Sam away, then reaching out to unbutton and unzip his brother’s jeans, pulling them down Sam’s thighs - boxers and all - before shoving him back onto the bed.

Dean stood still though, running his palm over the urgent erection against his own boxer-briefs, “You gonna stay seated for me, like a good little brother?”

Sam swallowed at Dean's admission, cock filling even more as he imagined it in his mind. The older Winchester caught him off guard, though, when he shoved him.

After Sam stopped bouncing on the mattress, he propped himself up on his elbows to look at Dean, eyes blown wide as his gaze fell to his brother's cock and the hand palming at it, he licked his lips and looked back up at Dean, catching the mischievous glint in the older man's eyes.

Sam couldn't really speak, it was like the words were caught in his throat, all he could do was nod fervently, otherwise brain dead from his brother's authoritative tone.

Dean leaned back against the wall, rolling his shoulders as he planted his feet on the ground and stared at Sam, the tousled hair, the wide eyes and shocked expression. How the fuck did a man like that, as big, deadly, and fucking sexy as his brother manage to pull off looking like such a confused little puppy?

He kept his gaze on Sam, rolling lazy circles over his hard cock, still not pressing his hand underneath. Dean took his other fingers in his mouth, closing his eyes as he wet them before ghosting the tips over his nipples, “Tell me about... The first time you thought about fuckin’ me.”

Sam ran his palm over the head of his cock just once, teasing and eliciting a gasp from himself as his expression softened, eyes darkening as he watched Dean put on a show for him. It was almost torturous to stay put, but he'd agreed that he would.

The younger Winchester swallowed nervously and forced himself to speak, "I was eleven," Sam admitted, voice cracking just a little, "Just figured out what sex was. I remember someone telling me you only do it with someone you care about - first person I thought of was you."

He drew his tongue along his bottom lip before biting on it, gaze still intently on his brother's body, fighting the urge to move to him, "Ended up touching myself just thinking about you, stripped myself raw almost every night thinking of how hot it'd be to see my older brother's lips around my dick."

“Mm,” Dean wet his fingers again, running them under the hem of his underwear, managing to push the fabric lower down his hips, “I remember packin’ lunches for you, when you were _eleven_.”

He chuckled and licked his lips, “Meanwhile my horribly perverted baby brother was imaginin’ my mouth all stretched out around his swollen member, suckin’ it like a lollipop.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, fingers brushing the head of his cock and he moaned, closing his eyes, brows furrowing as he teased himself, “What about puttin’ it in me? You think’a that before considerin’ I might top instead? M’under the impression that you wouldn’t wanna be under me so much. Did you always think of toppin’ your older brother? How did you imagine it'd be, Sammy?”

Sam wasn't really used to Dean being so vocal - or _Alorest_ rather - when it came to anything sexual. But the older man's voice struck a cord somewhere inside of him, making him realize that he liked this.

The younger Winchester moved his hand to squeeze the base of his cock to keep himself under control as he all but groaned out his response, "I thought about it, more often than not, got off on imagining you squeezing all around me, you shooting your load all over your chest... the way I imagined you saying my name... **fuck**."

Sam grinned and closed his eyes, grip tightening around his dick, "But every once in a while I wanted you in a different way, wanted to feel your weight bearing down on me. I've gotten off thinking of that too, thinking about you topping me. Not much I haven't thought about when it comes to you, Dean."

“First time I thought’a you,” Dean started, eyes opening slightly, looking at Sam just barely through his cracked lids, “I got so hard, so fast, I almost blew my fuckin’ load just from the jeans friction on my cock.”

He swallowed, taking a breath as he palmed his length, the fabric rolling down his hips from the movement, exposing himself - leaking head and all, “It was probably rude,” Dean almost whimpered, smearing the pre-cum over his hand and gliding it down to the hilt of his cock, “But I kept thinkin’a how easy it’d be to shut you up, when you got all pissy an’ angry with me, I thought’a just rollin’ you over an’ fuckin’ you into the mattress; that’d make you all quiet an’ content.”

Sam struggled to keep still, moving forward slightly, but then he stopped himself, feeling the imaginary binds keeping him on the bed. His erection was throbbing in his hand as he watched, seeing the little beads of pre-come glisten on Dean's dick, making him want to drop to his knees to taste it. Instead he just wet his lips again as his resolve crumbled even more, feeling his ass hole clench almost eagerly from imagining Dean fucking **him** for a change.

"Maybe you **should** have," Sam suggested quietly, finally calm enough to remove his hand from his cock, "I would've let you."

Dean’s hand moved slowly, tantalizingly patient over his length as he moaned, “Wanted to... _So bad_...”

He bit his bottom lip, one hand moving back up to touch his nipples and he closed his eyes again, hips arching, thankful his boots were firm on the carpet but goddamn, it’d been so long since he’d made himself feel good.

He could feel the throngs of Alorest stretching out through him as he pleased them both, giving himself this, “Sammy,” He breathed, voice shaking, and it almost sounded like a shout to him, pained almost, surprised or something, wounded maybe; but  goddamn it felt so good.

Sam kicked his own boots off as he watched the older Winchester, transfixed, almost. He wiggled the rest of the way out of his jeans and scooted back along the bed, far enough to rest himself against the headboard, cock hard and heavy against his stomach, leaking desperately.

The younger Winchester teased the underneath of his dick, just beneath the tip, brushing the sensitive bundle of nerves as he squirmed almost impatiently on the bed.

"Open your eyes and look at me," Sam requested softly and let his legs fall open, exposing himself to Dean.

Dean did as Sam requested, eyes drinking in the sight of his baby brother, all shown off and spread for him, like a goddamn offering.

He groaned in approval, “I wanna fuck you,” He admitted, point blank, salivating as he stepped out of his boots, kicking away his jeans and sliding the boxer-briefs down his legs the rest of the way. He moved to the edge of the bed, eyes trained on Sam still as he touched himself.

"I want you to fuck me," Sam moaned his agreement, hand wrapping around the head of his cock as he slid down into a more horizontal position, legs still apart in offering.

It had been a while since he thought of this, about Dean taking care of him in a more intimate way. But discussing staunched wants and desires made the need bubble up under his skin like it never even left, yearning to have Dean take control and fuck into him, for the older Winchester to release all of his pent up lust on Sam.

Dean climbed onto the bed, moving up Sam’s body from his feet. He kissed the larger man’s ankles, the sides of his calves, the underneath of his knees, the insides of his thighs, up his hips and stomach, navel, nipples, collarbone and neck.

“Without touchin’ me,” He started, staring into Sam’s eyes, “Take your cock an’ give it a few strokes, for me. Keep your eyes open, keep lookin’it me, an’ tell me how you want me to prepare you.”

Sam was practically panting as he watched Dean, every nerve-ending on his body so sensitive that he felt like he was going to jump out of his skin with each warm press of his brother's lips. Not to mention how much it physically ached to not reach out to the older man, to hold him and feel his skin.

The younger Winchester did what he was told, though, and stroked himself thoroughly three times as his lips parted, heavy lidded eyes trained on Dean's, " _Fingers_ ," Sam breathed out, brows furrowing a little, "I want your fingers."

“You look so good like this, Sammy, all desperate for me,” Dean leaned down, dragging his teeth along Sam’s jaw line, moving to his brother’s mouth and ghosting their lips along one another’s just slightly, just enough to get Sam arching into him and he pulled away.

He put his fingers out, just within reach of the larger man’s mouth, “You wet these for me, baby boy, an’ I’ll put ‘em anywhere you want.”

Sam had to ball the comforter up into his fists to keep from touching Dean, his body naturally arching towards him, anyways. The younger Winchester opened his mouth a little more, his tongue lashed out against the tips of his brother's fingers before he sucked them into his mouth, his hazel eyes intent on Dean's green as he wet the digits thoroughly.

He pulled back, releasing the fingers with a slick 'pop' sound, looking at Dean like he'd be able to see how the older man's mind was working if he'd just look close enough.

Dean lifted Sam’s right leg and wrapped it over his shoulder, his hand dropping down between his brother’s thighs, dripping fingers pressing between Sam’s firm ass cheeks. He rolled his index over the puckered entrance, slipping it in alone only once before pressing them both inside the tight heat.

“Damn, Sammy,” He said, voice strained as he leaned down and kissed over the bronze washboard abs, tongue rolling around the tight ring of his brother’s bellybutton.

Sam felt almost conflicted between watching Dean and throwing his head back against the pillow; of course the latter won out. The slight burn causing him to groan and arch his hips as he clenched his eyes shut, letting the dull ache wash over him, relaxing himself and accepting it - because it was Dean, and he wanted anything the older man had to offer.

The younger Winchester looked down at Dean, already feeling like he was going out of his mind with longing, crease in his forehead as he shuddered, "Wanna touch you so bad," Sam pleaded, whined, as he moved his hips down onto Dean's fingers, "Please?"

“Mm,” Dean acted as if he was considering it, staring up at his brother, the spread legs, the desperate man beneath him, writhing and begging for him, “ _No_.”

He pulled his fingers out slowly, pushing them back inside of Sam as he grabbed the meat of his brother’s right thigh, turning his face into the hard muscles and closing his mouth over portions, biting, sucking up red flesh, licking and kissing the skin as his fingers thrust into the younger Winchester.

Sam felt his body respond to Dean - the way he was relaxing and opening up to the older man, breathless moans escaping him with every jolt of pleasure. The younger Winchester could feel his body tremble, thighs falling open more as he fought to keep his hips still and his hands to himself. He raised both of his arms up above his head, crossing them over his eyes in order to fight temptation.

" _Ah_ ," Sam gasped, peeking down at his brother from under his arms as he struggled to keep his voice steady, trying not to slur his words together, "Dean, s'killing me to not touch you."

Dean smirked and moved his mouth down, lapping around his brother’s balls, teeth grazing along the swollen member and he breathed against the head of it, “Lookit me,” He said, fingers keeping up a careful, steady rhythm as they spread Sam open.

He sucked the dollop of pre-come weeping from his brother’s cock, “An’ I don’t want you thrustin’ up, or grabbin’ my head, or I’ll stop, I mean it.”

"Fuck," Sam all but growled out, dropping his arms to his sides to look down at Dean, already feeling the urge to buck, he furrowed his brows and whimpered, "You gonna let me touch you before this is over with? Or are you trying to kill me?"

The younger Winchester grinned just slightly despite the ache in his limbs, stemming from his desire to touch the older man. Foreplay was half the fun and he'd never really had anyone tease him to this extent, to where he felt almost dizzy with it - so if this is what Dean wanted, he would be more than happy to play along.

Dean didn’t answer back, he looked up into his brother’s eyes and took the rock fucking hard cock into his mouth, suckling the tip and lolling his tongue around under the foreskin, the squishy muscle of it circling the head, pressed tight against it as he did so.

He tried to keep his hand from stammering in it’s pace but it was difficult to concentrate on them both as he reveled in the taste of Sam’s cock, causing his own to throb eagerly, just as impatient with him as the larger man was.  
  
Sam fisted the comforter again, head thrashing against the pillow as he gnawed on the inside of his cheek, trying his fucking hardest to not move. It was damn near excruciating, to just lay there and not respond to that kind of pleasure by touching the older man in turn.

The younger Winchester's breathing was coming out in short staccato bursts at this point, making him light headed as he lifted his head to dare another look down at Dean, "Please, Dean. Can't- I don't think I can," He furrowed his brows in confusion when he felt his balls tighten up like he was close to coming, all the teasing had him on edge, "Fuck, not fair, just wanna touch you."

Dean chuckled around the length and looked up to his brother, head bobbing as he stared into Sam’s pleading eyes and shook his head. He knew what it was like, to an extent, to be unable to reach out and touch his brother. Though a part of him had technically been doing it, he still had no control. It was like touching with numbed fingers, almost.

He loved having control of Sam like this, though, nothing was holding his brother back but his own will and loyalty to Dean as the older Winchester pleasured him. His fingers retreated at last, the muscle worn down and stretched out, relaxed for him. Dean pulled his mouth away and licked his lips as he stared at Sam, tugging his own cock again as he sat back on his heels.

Sam felt his entire body trembling as he forced himself up on his elbows, eyes raking the older man's body lustfully, mouth parted as he tried evening his breathing out, "Please?"

He shook his head a little to get his dampened hair to unstick from his forehead, literally feeling like he'd been rode hard and put away wet, " **Dean** , come on, man. This is torture." _Pretty fucking /nice/ torture, if I was literally about to come all over myself like a teenage boy, but that's besides the point._

“Alright,” Dean said slowly, eyes wondering along his brother’s frame, “But only for a minute. I’ll give you that, an’ you can do anything you want to my body, anythin’, but you only get a minute. Startin’...”

He looked at the alarm on the night stand and waited, licking his lips before whispering, “ _Now_.”


	14. Chapter 12

It felt like someone had lit a fire under Sam's ass, because he was up and moving before he even fully had time to comprehend what Dean had said. He placed both of his hands on his brother's face and kissed him so hard it hurt before trailing eager little love bites down the older man's neck and chest, wasting no time before delving downwards and sucking his brother's cock into his mouth.

Sam moaned around the length as he took it all to the hilt, eyes watering a little as he reveled in the taste and ran his palms up Dean's thighs, head desperately bobbing on the swollen member.

Dean was somewhat taken aback by his brother’s enthusiasm. Though he should’ve been expecting Sam’s response, he wasn’t really expecting it to feel so fucking **good**. To have Sam’s shaking palms on him, hands and mouth grabbing at parts of him, hungry, desperate, eager to please - needing to touch him more than anything.

Dean watched his brother’s descent to his cock, swallowing and gasping as the larger man took him up. He ran his fingers through Sam’s hair in approval, watching his length disappear between his brother's lips.

Sam's fingertips dug into his brother's thighs and hips, ragged edges of nail barely breaking skin, enough to have little buds of blood pooling at the surface as he looked up at Dean through thick, wet lashes.

The younger Winchester had felt desire for the older man before, but what he was feeling for Dean at that moment was something so overwhelmingly intoxicating; wanting to feel and taste every surface of his brother's skin, but not being able to be all over him at once.

Sam flattened his tongue as he pressed his mouth down along the length, then curled his tongue around the bottom of the tip as he lifted up, moving his mouth to Dean's hips and thighs to lap at the glistening beads of blood vigorously.

“Sammy,” Dean breathed, eyes flashing black for a moment, feeling the shuddering thrill of Alorest as if that part of him was raising it’s brow in interest. He reached down, grabbing Sam’s hair up in the back and pulling him away.

“That’s a minute,” He said, leaning down and pressing his lips to his brother’s, tasting the copper stick of blood and he smirked.

The skin of his hips healed as he pushed the larger man back on the bed, climbing over Sam, his knees settling on his brother’s biceps to hold him down, Dean’s cock level with his mouth, “Go on.”

Sam couldn't help but grin, even though he was pinned down, being able to see this side of his brother was more than worth all of the teasing he'd been enduring. He tilted his head up a little bit and flicked the tip of his brother's cock with his tongue, wetting his lips and letting the thick, plush head glide between his lips as he stared up at Dean, eyes only fluttering closed when he felt the length brush the back of his throat. It felt good to just have his mouth on the older man, regardless if he was allowed to touch or not.

Dean closed his eyes and gasped, hips arching carefully, pushing Sam’s head back to hold him down as he pulled the pillows away to get a better angle.

He touched his brother’s cheek, thumbed Sam’s brow as he began slowly working his hips, groaning and biting his bottom lip as he let out shaky breaths to keep himself collected, “You looks so good like this, Sammy; all shut up with my cock stuffed in your mouth.”

Dean smirked, “Better than I’d ever imagined.”

Sam breathed in through his nose and groaned around the girth, basking in the sound of his brother's voice as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked more fervently, gently grazing the tip of Dean's cock with his teeth.

Dean pulled back, length dripping with spit as he moved down Sam’s body once more, lifting the larger man’s hips and settling the head of his cock against Sam’s slick entrance. He gripped his brother’s hips and held him still before arching forward, sinking slowly into Sam’s heat. It was about fucking time, and he stared at the younger Winchester, licking his lips and smiling, “You ready for me, baby boy?”

"Been ready for you," Sam groaned out, eyes clenching shut and head lolling back as he felt himself open to his brother, "Still no touching?" He asked, somewhat hopeful, breathing slowly and arching his back as he felt the hard, warm length split him open. It wasn't as uncomfortable as he'd expected it to be, and he was thankful that the older man took the time to actually prep him, get him nice and loose so that it didn't hurt.

“Yeah, no, you can touch me,” Dean said, pressing quick, heated kisses to his brother’s chest as he buried himself to the hilt and paused for a moment, breathing as he closed his eyes and felt Sam’s tightness stretched around him, “Touch me all you want.”

He pulled out easily, thrusting back in with carefully timed, lazy sinks as the relaxed muscle welcomed him, his hands holding Sam’s thighs, calves up on his forearms to hike them with the movements.

" _Ah_ , shit," Sam moaned throatily, brows furrowing as he scrambled to lean up enough to grab the older man by the nape of the neck, pulling him down a little and leaning up to press their mouths together, smiling and brushing his nose with Dean's, "Biggest fucking tease I've ever seen. I like it."

Dean chuckled as he kissed Sam back, “I been wantin’ to do all of that for a long time. An’ it’s fuckin’ confusin’ when there's a part of yourself runnin’ the show an’ you feel like you need’a lead him along, give ‘em more to do, more to explore. He’s just so fuckin’ adamant about pleasin’ you an’ lettin’ you fuck his brains out.”

Dean licked Sam’s lips, “There’s a lot more to me than just that side, baby boy. I kinda... Wanted to show you it.”

Sam's legs fell open more and he all but gasped into his brother's mouth, hands clasping at Dean's broad, freckled shoulders, "I'm glad you did, I wanna know all of you, not just the side I'm used to. Just wish you were more at peace with yourself so I could have **all** of you, all the time - not just bits and pieces."

Actually saying it out loud made him realize how much it was true, only having one part of his brother at any given time was difficult and he wanted more than anything for the two polar opposite personalities to merge. If he was with Alorest, then part of him ached for Dean. And now that he was technically with Dean, he found himself longing for Alorest. It just seemed really inconvenient that he wouldn't be able to have both of them as one until after Azazel was killed, and that was something that they didn't seem to be any closer to doing.

“One day, soon enough, we’ll be complete again, I promise,” Dean said as he urged himself inside of Sam over and over again with careful, sudden thrusts, thumbs pressing into his brother’s hip bones, leaving bruises, “On the upside, both of us care about you an’ would do anythin' an’ everythin’ in our power to make you happy, at least that hasn’t changed. It never will, I promise.”

He looked into the larger man’s eyes and smiled, “Nothin’ could change the way I feel for you, not even three hundred years in Hell. Not many people can say that, I don’t think.”

"Mm," Sam's back arched and he linked his ankles, urging the older man down to hold him closer, his own arms moving to wrap around Dean's shoulders, "So damn thankful."

The younger Winchester smiled warmly and kissed Dean, packing so much heat and love behind it it was like he could feel his chest constrict, and all the time he'd gone without this was made up for, because he had Dean at that moment and **that** was all that mattered.

Dean’s thrusts stammered and he kissed back, dropping one of his brother’s legs and taking Sam’s cheek in his palm as their skin began slapping together.

He pulled back, smiling and slowing his movements as he stared into his brother’s eyes, “Odd time to ask, but I’m curious. Sometimes inside, I just can’t really come up, an’ am not aware of what’s goin’ on, but have you... Have you seen my demon form?”

Sam furrowed his brows in confusion as he panted, odd time to ask _indeed_ , "I- I don't think so, I've seen your black eyes and uh," He bit his bottom lip and tried to focus, palms moving to smooth down his brother's sides, "Think that's it... _Why_?"

“I dunno, I was just curious,” Dean shrugged and chuckled, “Alorest may be me, but dude, that woulda been the first thin’ I showed you. It’s uh... Intimidatin’, I’m sure.”

He nosed Sam’s jaw line, kissing his sweated skin before straightening up again, holding his brother’s legs as he rocked into the younger Winchester, cock slamming up into him as Dean watched the lazy wave of Sam’s swollen length, slapping a spatter of precome against the larger man’s stomach.

Sam chuckled in turn as he pulled the older man down for another kiss, nipping and sucking the plump bottom lip into his mouth as he rocked his hips down, "Always were one for show and tell."

The younger Winchester kept one hand on his brother's waist, gripping at it desperately, pulling his brother towards him with each thrust. He dropped his other hand to his cock to palm at it, teasing himself with a loose hand, fisting it enough to feel good but not enough to have him coming like a freight train.

“I’d show you it now, f’I wasn’t afraid it’d completely turn you off,” Dean licked his lips, “I might also split you in two, that wouldn’t be so hot either. An’ the scales, you might catch salmonella or somethin’. It’s bad ass, not sure it’s a thin’ to bring to bed. Maybe Alorest thought... Well,” He considered it himself as he thrust, he was a demon, after all, and Alorest was him, the guy would’ve, “He woulda been worried you wouldn’t trust ‘im, trust me, if’e went that far. If you knew that was how bad it was. I mean, all we seen is the smoke, an’ the eyes, you never stop to think what’s crawlin’ underneath, though.”

Sam sighed and covered his brother's mouth with his own, cock flagging considerably within his palm, "I don't wanna see it right now, I want you to fuck me and then after we're done, if you're still in control, **then** I wanna see it. Okay?"

Dean took his brother’s hand within his, sucking the tips of Sam’s fingers, pointedly nipping at each one and then lacing them with his own as he leaned down and pressed his lips to his brother’s, body thrusting forward harder suddenly, changing the direction of them as he lowered his hips and struck out along Sam’s prostate.

Sam gasped against Dean's lips when he felt the almost blinding throngs of pleasure shoot all throughout his body, down his legs and up his back, causing his cock to fill yet again as he clung desperately to his brother. The younger Winchester tried his best to continually rock his hips down, whimpering and clenching his muscles around Dean.

“You look so good, baby boy,” Dean breathed, touching Sam’s lips with his shaking fingers, “Cheeks all red, hair stickin’ to your face from the sweat,” he leaned down and nibbled on his brother’s left nipple, “Your sweet, pink, puckered entrance all worried an’ stretched out around me.”

He smirked and slowed his thrusts, hardening them as he rocked the bed with his movements, “An’ every time I lookit your goddamn cock, I just wanna take it up an’ suck every taste of your juices from the skin.”

"Can't just say shit like that and expect me not to... **Ah** , fuck," Sam all but sobbed out a moan, hand dropping back to his cock to tug once, twice, three times and then he came all over his hand, stomach and chest, back arching off the bed, "Come."

The younger Winchester brought his slick fingers up to Dean's mouth, grinning and sated as he spread some of the bitter liquid across his brother's lips.

Dean took his brother’s fingers up again, sucking the bitter fluid from them and leaning down to lick a dollop of the pearly white from between his brother’s pecks. He stared into Sam’s eyes as he continued thrusting, short, sharp, stammering movements as he breathed, reveling in the tight pull of his cock, the secure squeeze of walls around him as he kept their gaze locked and came as well, fingers in his brother’s hair, eyes just barely able to keep open as he gasped and shook.

Sam leaned up enough to bring their mouths together again, inhaling sharply through his nose as he tasted himself on his brother's lips, his long arms wrapping around the smaller man to hold him close. It had felt like he'd waited a lifetime for this exact moment and none of his wildest thoughts even compared to how it actually felt, all of his past imageries timid in nature compared to how it actually went down.

The older Winchester smiled against Sam’s mouth, heart wrenching at the strong, thick arms around him and he recognized the pleased, lazy approval of Alorest, practically as slack-jawed as he was himself.

Dean never really got tired from sex, he was kind of the opposite, really, and he broke the kiss, peppering short, smaller ones over his brother’s face as he grinned and moaned with each of them, “Goddamn, Sammy.” He pressed his forehead to the larger man’s and laughed, slipping from the heat and laying down beside Sam, fingers brushing his own chest, tracing his nipples, “Damn.”

Sam chuckled halfheartedly and raised his arms above his head, lazily, head rolling to the side to look at his brother, "Sounds about right."

The younger Winchester laid there next to Dean, content with the easy quiet they had going on between them, but he wasn't really sure when the older Winchester would have to give the reigns back over to Alorest. Sam rolled to his side and stared at the older man, index finger reaching out to trace the outline of his brother's profile, delicately brushing Dean's skin, "Still in control?"

“Yeah, Alorest can’t take it back, unless I give it to him,” Dean said softly, looking at his brother, “He’s afraid I don’t need him, that he’ll... that he’ll _cease to exist_.”

The older Winchester breathed deeply and sighed, “I don’t blame him, I know what it’s like. I let him take over completely, after I turned - it was like I’d died, I don’t really know much of it, bits an’ pieces of what he did, flashes. It was like I was drownin’, kinda, suffocatin’. I didn’t much care. He pulled me along though, even thought he’d lost me, but he found you, took care of you, an’ I guess I just... Found my way back to the surface.”

Sam sat up a little more, fingers still tracing along his brother's skin, "He's got more heart than any demon I've ever met," He frowned and corrected himself, " _You've_ got more heart than any demon I've ever met; more will-power."

The younger Winchester pressed his lips to Dean's forehead and inhaled deeply, feeling a longing ache as they talked about Alorest, "Do you wanna give it back to him?"

Dean shrugged and nodded, closing his eyes as he leaned into Sam, “He’s the one that’s gonna get it done, I **have** to give it back to ‘im. He’s stronger’n me, a lot stronger. He doesn’t think he is, but that’s the truth. He dragged me through everthin’, long after I’d given up, f’it wasn’t for him I woulda never gotten back up here. He did what he had to do. He’s a part of me, he’s the only part that could handle doin’ everythin’ to get back to you. An’ I gotta let ‘im see it through.”

Dean ran his hand up Sam’s biceps, looking into his brother’s eyes, “I may not lookit, but I can barely keep this together, Sam. It’s... It’s like I’m shakin’ apart. Like a twenty story buildin’ that’s fifty years old an’ rusted, with five million tons of everythin’ else sittin’ on top of my shoulders. I dunno how he does this, I dunno how he manages to get through every day, when it’s so hard for me to just... _Breathe_.”

Sam touched Dean's jaw and brushed the tip of his nose down the older man's temple, under his eye and down next to his mouth, "It won't always be so difficult, we'll fix this and it'll feel better, there won't be so much pressure on you and maybe you'll be able to catch your breath, you know?"

"But I agree with you, he is stronger, and he does need to see it through, and as much as I love this..." He gestured between the two of them, palm settling on his brother's hip, "Maybe it'd be best to let him have the reigns until this is over with, just sit along for the ride and let us handle things. Indulging ourselves like this when we could be making progress on killing yellow eyes just seems selfish. I just want you in one piece."

“Progress takes time,” Dean said softly, running his hand down his brother’s chest, “An’ I think Alorest would agree, that moments like this are what spurs us forward. Makes us stronger, makes **you** stronger,” He suggested, raising a knowing brow as he held his hand up, the fingers turning into claws, green scales shading and rising from his flesh as he nicked his jaw line and the hand changed back as blood started to drip down his skin, “You need to drink, Sam, I know you haven’t gotten much lately, starvin’ yourself during our absence, but you need’a get back into this.”

Sam watched the transformation in awe, swallowing almost audibly when the claws retracted and the green scales turned back into flesh. They'd seen some pretty messed up things before, but seeing Dean do something like **that**... It was just a little trippy is all.

The younger Winchester looked at the crimson staining the older man's skin and leaned down, glancing into Dean's eyes briefly before covering the cut with his lips, automatically feeling the warm copper surge throughout him. Sam sucked lightly, hand moving to Dean's chest, idly touching the skin as he moaned around the cut.

Dean gasped and touched Sam’s waist with tentative, shaking fingers, and he let himself sink. It was relieving, to let Alorest take back over, and the weakened bit of his soul groaned in approval as he took rest.

The demon’s eyes flicked to black, smiling and clasping Sam’s skin, “Oh,” He breathed as his hips arched in interest, “Sammy.”

Though it’d been worth it, to make Sam happy, to give him what he’d been longing for, Alorest had been scared, had missed being in control. He knew it was only going to be until he defeated Azazel, but he was thankful to Dean for letting him out again.

Sam hummed and pulled back enough to look at his brother, grinning so wide it almost hurt when black eyes greeted him, blood smeared all over his lips as he leaned down to press a kiss to the demon's lips, murmuring against them lightly, "Missed you." The admission sounded a little odd after he said it, but he knew that Alorest would understand what he meant... **hopefully**.

Alorest tried to keep the smile on his face, struggling to widen it as he nodded. He knew Sam didn’t mean the words, was trying not to show how much he was already missing Dean, but it was a nice thought, “Missed you too.”

He leaned in, licking the blood from his brother’s mouth and staring into Sam’s eyes, "Soon enough, you’ll have him for good, all the time. Just give it time, I promise.” And he had to make sure that he didn’t latch on like he wanted to, to fight for his own existence. Sam wanted Dean, anything other than that would be wrong.

"I won't have one or the other, I'll have both of you... as **one** , because that's what you are," Sam furrowed his brows, confused as to why Alorest was saying such things, "I tell you that I miss _you_ , as in **you** , Alorest; the broken, tortured, strong willed, demonic side of my brother - because essentially, that's what you are - and you follow up saying I'll have him all the time soon enough."

The younger Winchester moved back, putting space between them as he frowned, "Is it really so hard to believe that I love all of _you_? Not just a certain part of you."

“You’ve always been askin’ for Dean, an’ wantin’ Dean,” Alorest frowned as well, sitting up and turning to look at Sam, “I promised you, in the beginnin’, that I’d find him an’ get him back for you. I’ve seen you when you’re with him, when you realize it’s him an’ not me, Sam. It...” His eyes watered and he looked away as a tear fell down his cheek, “He was everythin’ to you, I know that. He’s everythin’ to me too, I... It just... It kills me, to see you lookit him like that.”

Sam moved forward on his knees and grabbed the demon by his face, turning his head so he'd have to look at Sam, "I wish you could read my mind, I really do," He brushed the tear away with his thumb and swallowed, "Because if you could, you'd know how much I thought about you and missed you while he was in control. After yellow eyes is gone everything will make more sense, you'll be whole instead of feeling so broken and conflicted."

"And you must be blind..." Sam leaned in and kissed Alorest, chastely, "Because I look at you the same exact way."

Alorest blinked a few times, cleaning his eyes as he leaned in and kissed Sam back, kissed him for all he was worth. It made him feel sort of uncomfortable, when Sam was so adamant about making him think that him and Dean were equals, it just didn’t fit right in his mind, and he was tempted to argue. But he just wanted to feel good, for once, and loved; even if it wasn’t what he deserved.

He laid back, pulling Sam over him as he stared into his brother’s eyes, “Thank you, for missin’ me.”

Sam kissed the demon's chin, neck and chest before leaning back up and covering Alorest's lips with his own, "Not really something you need to thank me for," He shrugged as his hand roamed down the demon's side, gripping Alorest's thigh to hike it up on his waist, "It just **happens** when you love someone and they're not around."

“You love me,” Alorest said as he felt an excruciatingly pleased twinge inside of his chest and he pressed his lips to the younger Winchester’s cheek, ran his fingers through the larger man’s hair as he leaned into the warmth of their naked bodies pressed together, “Sam, I...” He looked into his brother’s eyes seriously, “I would do anythin’ for you, Sammy, anythin’.”

"Of course I love you," Sam said, grinning as if it was the most painfully obvious thing in the world, "And I know you would, but you need to realize you can expect the same of me."

“Before we take out Azazel, we needa get you juiced up more, you were doin’ good before I was taken out of my body, but we’re gonna need you better’n’at,” Alorest said, combing his fingers through Sam’s hair, “Maybe three or four times a day, any time you’re hungry, if you get even a slight hint of want, I’d like you to be doin’ it, okay? An’ maybe, with me consumin’ him, he won’t come back a second time.”


	15. Chapter 13

Alorest sat on the hood of the Impala, body stretched out, back on the windshield, staring up at the sky, content for nearly an hour before he’d turned into his brother and did something Dean and Sam had never done, while watching the clouds. He laid his head on the larger man’s chest, hand around Sam’s waist as he sighed and smiled, “He’s not gonna be as easy to find as Lilith, since she was comin’ for us, but I don’t mind it so much. I miss moments like this, where we could breathe.”

Sam grinned to himself when the demon moved over to lay on him, hand reaching up to comb through his brother's dark blonde hair, "We'll find him, though, he can't stay hidden forever."

The younger Winchester kissed Alorest's head, "And when we do, we'll have more time to just dick off and do things like this. It'll be worth it, to be free and just have all the time in the world with you."

“I guess with my worth an’ self-worth back, once he’s dead, I’ll be more like I was in Hell,” Alorest mused, “Less insecure, less unsure of myself, more confident; like I was when I made the deal, an’ strong. Ever since Lilith, I can feel these... These throngs inside of me, I’m sure my form has changed somewhat, evolved since I took her down.”

Sam was positive that killing Azazel would be the answer to all of their problems, and with yellow eyes' death, Dean would be whole again, or Alorest; whatever name he ended up wanting to go by when it was all said and done.

"You should show me," The younger Winchester murmured against the bristles of hair, finger tips brushing the nape of the demon's neck, "I wanna see what you look like."

“No you don’t,” Alorest said at once, “An’ I shouldn’t."

He saw this coming, though, after what Dean had said. He was just hoping that Sam would’ve forgotten, or not cared, or just never asked, “I’m a monster, Sam. I don’t want you seein’ that, you’ll never lookit me the same again.”

Truth be told, he was scared of that form, because it proved to him that he’d become what Dean was most disgusted in, whether he thought it was cool or not; it was a tragedy.

Sam slid out from under the demon gently and moved around to the front of the Impala, grabbing at Alorest's legs and yanking him forward so Sam could look him in the eyes, "Yes, I do," He slid his hands to the demon's hips as he grinded forward, his gaze unwavering, "Nothing you show me is gonna make me want you any less, okay?"

Alorest stared into Sam’s eyes, almost pleading, “I don’t want you to see,” He said, shaking his head and settling his hands on his brother’s shoulders.

He knew Sam wouldn’t let up, though, and he nodded as he sighed, dropping his forehead to the larger man’s chest. As if he needed another reason to push Sam into being more fond of Dean. The demon stood from the car and grabbed Sam’s cheeks, pulling him into a desperate, rough, almost painful kiss as he closed his eyes just for a minute.

Sam groaned against the demon's lips, hands fisting the hem of Alorest's shirt, "I wanna know what **all** of you looks like, not just your human form." The younger Winchester chuckled and touched the demon's chin, forcing him to meet Sam's eyes, "I'm not going anywhere, you could be part octopus and I'd still love you, okay?"

“I’m not dark an’ twisted enough to have tentacles, it takes a real nasty kinda monster, like Alastair, to be like that,” Alorest pulled away and grabbed his shirt, yanking it over his head and handing it to Sam, “Probably should undress, though, not like it’s anythin’ you haven’t seen... _Yet_ ,” He smirked, kicking off his boots and starting in on his jeans. Regardless of size, his spikes would probably do more damage than that.

Sam grinned as he watched, holding the demon's shirt, feeling the excitement course through him. The younger Winchester knew that what he was about to see would probably be terrifying, but he would steel himself, endure and show his brother that it didn't matter, and that he loved him regardless - even more so for showing him.

Alorest, probably as boldly as Dean would, stripped away his jeans and boxer-briefs without a second thought and handed them to his brother before rolling down his socks and putting them in his boots.

He stayed close at first, for the initial change. His skin tightened and scaled over, the peach tint turning green as his hair receded and spikes grew back along his skull and neck, down his spine. Webbed wings sprouted from his shoulder blades, hands growing down into long, violent claws. His teeth became like sharp knives in his mouth, tongue long and forked at the end.

Though he didn’t grow upward yet, his mass increased, thick, muscled arms and legs, talons for feet and a fat tail landed on the ground behind him to balance him out as he stretched and shook the rest of his muscles into place.

Sam watched in morbid fascination, eyes widening and mouth parting as he blindly reached out to set the demon's clothes on the hood of the Impala. It was like a really bad acid trip or something, watching his brother turn from human into this... _creature_.

The younger Winchester swallowed nervously, body shaking as he made himself move forward, arm extending to touch the dark, hardened scales. Sam gasped at the feel and moved his hand along the ragged surface of the demon's skin, looking up into Alorest's eyes with reverence.

Alorest watched Sam curiously, the tail and the wings were new, interesting additions from taking in Lilith, and he reached up to touch Sam’s forearm. He kept his claws in check, knowing that they were as sharp and strong as swords.

“Intimidating?” He growled out, voice carrying just a small trace of what it use to be, soft, but with a dark echo behind it.

Sam licked his lips and nodded, eyes raking over the claws touching him, "Y-Yeah, fascinating, though."

The younger Winchester dropped his hand from the scales and moved around the demon, slowly, taking in the rest of Alorest. He lifted his hand tentatively and touched the curve of the wings, fingertips pressing into the webbing before he pulled back, circling Alorest entirely.

"You thought this would scare me off?" Sam scoffed nervously, trying his best to smile, "I think your voice is more intimidating than your appearance."

“Not just this,” Alorest moved back from Sam, rolling his shoulders as he began to grow in size, nearly reaching the tops of the trees, wings spreading and blocking out the sun as he stared down at his brother. He was impressed, though. He could tell Sam was bothered, maybe even intimidated, but the younger Winchester had remained adamant and kept up a good front.

Alorest held the larger form for a moment, just enough before he dropped back down to the human height and looked at Sam nervously.

"That's uh," Sam's eyes had widened more, heart beating wildly in his chest as he forced himself to stay calm, "Wow."

The younger Winchester raised his hand and massaged the back of his neck, trying to remember that he was a grown man capable of actual words, "Demon's actually have sex in their demon forms?"

Alorest smiled, fangs protruding and he nodded, pulling his claws up like a fist and spreading them at once, striking them against one another as if sharpening the edges, “Of course they do.” He didn’t want to tell his brother of the things he’d seen and experienced in Hell, the tortures that some demons fondly indulged themselves in with their victims.

Sam moved his hand from his neck to his mouth to stifle a chuckle, trying to hold it back as he looked at the demon's smile. It was so contradictory to see a smile like that on a terrifying demon face, it almost looked out of place, goofy, almost.

"Dude, okay, I'm good," Sam felt his cheeks heating as he calmed down, "Alright, you can change back now."

Alorest changed back at once, the horns and claws retracting, the wings and tail forming back into him as his hair grew out and his skin softened. He let out a collective breath and looked at Sam, reaching out with shaking fingers to touch his brother’s hand, “So... What’ya think?”

Sam was just as stunned with the transformation back into a human as he was the other way around, mouth left gaping open before he found his voice, "Frightening, definitely, but I think that it's only because it's not something I'm used to seeing every day. Almost looks fake, in a way." The younger Winchester hadn't realized just how rigid his body had went, muscles all locked up as he stood there nervously.

“I didn’t wanna show you,” Alorest said as he moved to his clothes and began pulling them on, fingers trembling as he stepped into his jeans and pulled them up his thighs so he didn’t feel so naked anymore.

He’d felt far more comfortable in his demon form, and it made sense, considering he’d been in it for over three hundred years. He still wasn’t sure how Sam was taking the entire thing, and he was fighting everything not to move away and hide somewhere or something.

Sam rolled his shoulders and forced himself to move, slotting his chest against the demon's back as he kissed Alorest's neck and along his shoulder, "But I wanted to see," He rested his palms on the shorter man's hips, "Don't be like this, don't pull away from me. How did you want me to react? I'd like to think I handled it pretty well."

Alorest closed his eyes before pulling his shirt on and turning to look at Sam, “I’d’ve liked not to have to’ve shown you at all. Sure it’s neat, Dean thinks it’s the coolest thin’ an’e would’a shown you first an’ foremost, but not me. I wouldn’t’ve. I kept it from you as long as I could. Because... Because it was so hard already, to make you trust me, an’ I’m scared of you... I’m scared of you seein’ that side of me. Cause it’s **my** side. You see this,” He motioned to his body, “An’ it’s nice, it’s home to me, I like it. But I’m a demon. An’ those claws, the voice, that’s _normal_ to me. That’s who I am. An’ I don’t... Want you... Seein’ that.”

"So what, then? You're upset with me because I wanted to see?" Sam asked, brows furrowing as he backed up, "I mean, I don't understand why you're acting like this now. I've seen you, all of you, and I'm still here. I really don't know what you want me to say."

The younger Winchester pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "I know you're afraid and that you feel like you're not worthy, inadequate somehow, I know that. But you need to stop doing this, stop trying to push me away because you think it's the best for me. I don't know how many times I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere."

“I don’t like seein’ you afraid of me,” Alorest said, sitting back on the hood of the car, “I’d never hurt you, not in a million years, an’ it kills me to think you’d even be afraid of me.” He crossed his legs under him, bare feet resting on the cool metal of the Impala as he put his face in his hands and shook his head, “I’m not tryin’ to push you away. It’s the exact _opposite_.”

"I'm still human, though, and it's human nature to react to things," Sam moved forward, frowning as he reached out and rested his palms on the demon's thighs, "I know that you wouldn't hurt me, I'm not afraid of you. Cut me some slack, please? It's the first true demon form I've seen, can't help that I wasn't one hundred percent prepared."

Alorest reached out, not unlike he did before he’d changed, grabbing Sam’s face and pulling him in, pressing their lips together almost hungrily, fingers tangling in his brother’s hair. He couldn’t help latching on, wanting to sink himself into Sam so that the larger man couldn’t get away.

Sam groaned and moved his hands to the demon's hips, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, brows furrowed in concentration as he tilted his head to lick at the seam of Alorest's lips. All of this was just an evasive maneuver, a ruse, something physical to get lost in so they didn't have to talk.

The younger Winchester broke the kiss, breathing heavily against the demon's wet lips, "Still upset with me?"

“I was never upset with you, Sam,” Alorest whispered weakly, unfolding his legs and wrapping them around Sam’s waist, “I’m upset with myself, I have no one else to blame but me for everythin’ that I’m goin’ through.” He kissed his brother again, biting along the taller man’s bottom lip.

Sam moved his hands down to the demon's thighs, rubbing his palms up and down them reassuringly, "It's not like you have to go through these things alone, you know that right?" He ducked down a little, pressing their foreheads together and brushed Alorest's nose with his own, "You've got me."

Alorest smiled and kissed Sam again, leaning in and resting his elbows on his brother’s shoulders, “I know I’m a pain an’ I’m confusin’ some times, I’m sorry. I wish I could be simple. I wish I wasn’t broken up inside, but this is what I am. I can’t change it, I can’t be different an’ easy for you, Sam. You gotta take what I got, even if it’s just a little mess of nonsense, cause... Cause’at’s all I got left.”

"I'll take any of you I can get, happily," Sam laid Alorest down and brushed the curve of the demon's jaw with the tip of his nose, hand reaching back into his pocket to pull out his knife, "But only if you tell me that you realize you won't always be like this, and someday that it may be easier than it is now."

The younger Winchester kept the demon's gaze as he flipped the knife open, raising it slowly to Alorest's neck, nicking him just beneath the ear. Sam licked his lips and leaned down, tongue lapping at the warm copper before wrapping his mouth around it.

“Ah, Sam,” The demon breathed out suddenly, eyes widening as he arched up into his brother as the lust rolled over his body, “I... Sure... I believe it, I guess, I mean... Whatever happens is kinda out of my control. I can only hope for the best.” He wasn’t sure what to say to Sam, that he’d except, he didn’t want to lie, and he just couldn’t accept that things were going to end well for himself, how could they? But he didn’t really know what else to say to satisfy his brother.

Sam listened to Alorest as he sucked on the cut, feeling the tangy warmth wash over his tongue, throbbing and pumping power into his veins as he rocked his hips forwards, dropping the knife to grasp the demon's thighs, firmly. The younger Winchester wasn't really satisfied with what Alorest had said, but it was better than the demon's usual grim outlook. It would all work out in the long run, though, so he wasn't too worried - failure wasn't really an option, he couldn't picture himself without his brother again.

Alorest moaned, his cock filling as his fingers twisted in Sam’s hair, “Sammy, please,” He breathed out as his hips pushed up desperately, mouth dropping open as he panted. The rush of blood from his veins was exciting him, and he could feel his heart racing, his legs shaking as he bucked again, eager for friction.

Sam thrust against the demon roughly, finally lifting his mouth from the cut to kiss Alorest, "I think you got dressed a little too soon." He grinned and kissed his way down the smaller man's chest, raking the shirt up to kiss Alorest's stomach, fingers moving to undo the button and zipper yet again.

“Guess so,” The demon agreed, feeling his skin healing over at Sam’s release of it and he lifted his hips to help his brother shimmy the jeans down his thighs. He dropped back against the hood once more, pulling the shirt off and staring up at the sky as his eyes pooled black.

He could never get over doing this on top of his car, goddamn, but some times they just got so lost in one another, “S’gettin’ dark,” He observed as the sun dipped below the horizon.

Sam laid the clothes on the hood next to Alorest, tugging at the demon's hips to pull him closer. The younger Winchester grinned and looked up at the sky as he slid his zipper down, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his cock out, palming at it roughly as he leaned down, kissing the demon's thighs.

"You wanna do it here? It'd be a first for us," Sam flicked the tip of Alorest's cock with his tongue, mouth moving down to ghost over the demon's puckered entrance, "Fucking under the stars, that'd be nice."

Alorest smiled and nodded, “Well, we done it in the rain, right? Makes sense to continue our ventures into areas outside of the motel room, an’ I seriously want you in me.”

He watched the pink sky becoming darker, his black eyes glistening as stars came out and he stared up at them, hands brushing through Sam’s hair, “It would be nice.” He was shaking just thinking of it, one hand moving to wrap around his cock, smearing the dribble of pre-come along it’s length.

Sam covered the warm, wrinkled flesh with his mouth, humming as the musky flavor filled his senses and made his cock throb helplessly in his hand, "How much prep you want?" He asked, words muffled by flesh as he brought a finger up next to his mouth, pushing into the muscle alongside his tongue.

“Not too much,” The demon admitted, chest heaving as his legs fell open. He looked down, staring at the top of Sam’s head as he moaned needily, “Just enough for you to feel good, I wanna feel it pull.” It could never hurt for him, but the tugging, the pressure, that was what he hungered for, what he wanted as much of as he could get.

"Always feels good for me," Sam smiled and pressed a second finger in next to the first, looking up at the pale expanse of Alorest's skin under the darkening skies.

The younger Winchester fisted his cock with his other hand, long lazy strokes mainly focusing on the length to keep from coming so quick. Instead of adding a third finger, he pulled the first two out, lapping at the skin and coating it with saliva before standing up straight, spitting into his hands and coating his cock just the same.

Sam moved forward, one palm flat against the cool surface of the Impala's hood, other hand holding the base of his cock as he lined himself up, biting his bottom lip and looking down at Alorest as he started to push in.

The demon sat up on his elbows and braced himself, the flat underside of his feet pressing to his brother’s firm ass cheeks as he drew him in. It probably would’ve been horribly painful for a normal person, but Alorest felt no such thing. The pressure was enough to drown himself in, though, causing him to drop back and let out a tight, almost pained-sounding whine.

He loved Sam for so many reasons, his whole being just wanting to be able to wrap itself around his brother like a goddamn cocoon, but this had been a surprising addition. Sam was always so eager to please him, and always fine with how the demon wanted it to be done. Rough, tight, swelling, encasing walls, and Sam didn’t even think to disagree. On the hood of the Impala, under the stars, and Alorest never wanted to lose this.

“Please, Sammy,” He said, black eyes looking into his brother’s beautifully human ones.

Sam started rocking his hips slowly, out and then back in a little further until he was balls deep inside of Alorest, leaning over top of the smaller man and bringing his hand up to touch the demon's face.

"You're so beautiful," He murmured softly, staring down into Alorest's shining black eyes, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a grin as he fucked into the demon with a steady rhythm.

The demon was at a loss of words, cheeks heating as he looked over the expanse of his brother’s skin, hands reaching up to follow his eyes, tracing the lines of Sam’s muscles, “You are,” He settled for, finally, not denying or accepting his brother’s claim, but building upon it instead.

He couldn’t do much in return, but he tried to let Sam know when he was doing something right, gasping and squirming, hiking his legs higher and growing incredibly silent in the moments where his brother was doing everything right; dark eyes some times staring up into the stars, wide and watery as he whimpered.

Sam let his hand slide up into the demon's short hair, gripping and tugging at it to pull the smaller man's head to the side. He nibbled on Alorest's ear lobe, groaning quietly with each thrust, whispering anything that came to mind in the demon's ear, "I mean it, so fucking gorgeous like this, spread out for me and **only** me."

The younger Winchester raised his other hand and touched Alorest's chest, rolling each nipple between his fingers as his head dropped forward, mouth resting on the demon's neck as he picked up his pace, "Love you, need you to know that. I love you so much."

“Love you, Sammy,” Alorest said back, toes curling in response to each of Sam’s thrusts, his fingers grabbing at his brother’s skin as he moaned.

He couldn’t really handle when his brother said those things, things like ‘you’re beautiful’, things like ‘love you’, they did things inside of him - made him hope, made him ache for it to be true. He didn’t always know what to say back, but he tried to let Sam know that it was reciprocated, that he adored Sam, that Alorest was his.

“I’m yours,” He said against Sam’s bangs, kissing him anywhere he could, “Always yours, Sammy.”

Sam reached down between both of their bodies and wrapped his hand around the demon's length, mouth smearing searing kisses around Alorest's neck, grazing the smaller man's Adam's apple with his teeth. He kept his hazel eyes averted from his lover's pitch-black ones as they watered, overwhelmed and aroused beyond all fucking belief - thankful for Alorest and his unconditional love.

"Yours too," Sam moaned and sniffed quietly, hips pistoning as he fisted the demon's cock slowly, "I'm yours, forever."

Alorest touched Sam’s wrist, not stopping him, but feeling the strong, firm motions of the other man’s forearm. He couldn’t say anything back, didn’t have the spine to affirm his brother’s claim, so he stayed quiet - apart from the wrenching gasps and sighs, watching the lights smattered across the sky as the sides of his feet pushed against Sam’s lower back, pulling him in, closer.

The demon combed Sam’s hair back from his face on the right side, looking at him then and listening to the sharp slaps of their bodies, each time Sam thrust into him causing his skin to tremble and flicker, scales rising up for a moment before dropping back down underneath.

Sam clenched his eyes shut for a moment and laid into Alorest, hips rocking steadily as he palmed the demon's length, almost sobbing from the heat around his own cock. He'd meant every word he'd said, about being Alorest's, about how beautiful the demon was - especially now, as Sam spread him out, faint glow from the stars glittering off of his black eyes. The younger Winchester's hips faltered as he looked the smaller man in the eyes, lips parted as he panted and leaned down, kissing the demon heatedly.

Alorest returned the kiss, hand moving to hold the back of the taller man’s neck as he whimpered into his brother’s mouth, shaky, short breaths coming out in puffs from his nose as their bodies moved together. Alorest stared into his brother’s face and smiled, watching the red heat of Sam’s cheeks with a thin sheet of sweat plastered over him, hair falling from behind his ear once more.

The demon, while understanding where he stood in the relationship, was in awe that it was actually **him** , not Dean, that’d finally gotten the balls to take this - to actually have this with Sam. It was the one thing that made fighting through Hell for three hundred years more than worth it, attaining his anchor; not only having Sam, but _having_ Sam.

He felt the scales flicker out along the bridge of his nose and became nervous. Now that Dean was constant in his mind, awake as it were, his form kept shifting on an accident, unstable - he didn’t like it.

Sam continued to fist the demon's cock, grinning any time he felt the heavy member throb in his hand, hips rolling, pumping his girth in and out of Alorest at an alarmingly increasing pace. He stared back at the demon, mesmerized by how otherwordly Alorest looked. Sam bit his bottom lip and reached up with his free hand - pinning Alorest to the hood of the Impala by the mere weight of his hips - and touched the demon's nose, eyes flicking up to the smaller man's black one's as his smiled grew wider.

“Sam,” Alorest blushed, refraining from telling his brother not to. He smiled back, pressing his nose against Sam’s fingers and kissing his palm as his hands moved to Sam’s biceps, fingers clenching the heated skin.

He didn’t know what to say, opening his mouth made him want to apologize or something, excuse himself, but he knew it’d probably just upset the larger man. He couldn’t acknowledge the change, and he barely saw it within his peripheral, the green scales spreading out now over his cheekbones and he tried to keep them back, but it felt like the more he tried to suppress it, the more rose up.

“Close-” He breathed, stopping himself from telling Sam to close his eyes, but changed the direction of the statement, “Real close.”

Sam nodded, still grinning stupidly as he leaned down and kissed the demon's rapidly shading cheeks, feeling the cooler scales beneath his lips as he tightened his fist on Alorest's cock, "I meant it, you're beautiful - don't try and hide yourself from me."

He increased his pace, hips snapping mercilessly, heavy ragged breaths falling from his lips as he felt his own orgasm draw near. He kissed the demon's temple and then pressed his lips to his lover's ear, groaning desperately as he filled Alorest with his come, "Come for me."

Alorest gasped at his brother’s words, the warm heat spreading through him and he let go, come spattering out between their stomachs. He turned his nose against Sam’s cheek and ear and smiled. His brother’s kiss over his scales felt different, far different than it was on just his skin or his lips and his eyes widened as, over the next minute, the feeling didn’t go away.

He fisted the back of Sam’s neck and whimpered as his brother’s hair brushed over them as well, “Sammy,” His free hand clasped the larger man’s shoulder as he came again, legs tightening around Sam’s waist.

Sam's eyes widened as he felt Alorest clench all around him again, one hand moving to the hood to hold himself up, other still lazily touching the demon's cock. He pressed his forehead to Alorest's temple, chuckling halfheartedly, "I could get use to that," He pressed his nose to the scales and grinned at the smaller man, "Feel good when I touch them or something?"

“Yeah, I,” Alorest winced and shook, voice tight as he opened his eyes, “I guess it does.” He licked his lips as he breathed and stared up at the sky again, “I’ve never, I mean... I didn’t really think about them like this. But, I guess it makes sense, with some of the things I’ve seen demons do. I didn’t understand it, and even after so long of seeing it, day after day, hour after hour, it still made me nervous to think about it.” He looked Sam in the eyes, “Even in the midst of sex, you don’t turn away from ‘em, you just... You touched ‘em an’ kissed ‘em.”

Sam nodded slowly and brought his come slicked hand up to his mouth, licking mindlessly at his fingers, "Well, **yeah** , why wouldn't I?" He raised a brow and lowered both of his hands to Alorest's hips, keeping him pinned to the car as he peppered the demon's face with kisses, "I love you, **all** of you - including the parts of you I'm not so familiar with."

Alorest grabbed his brother’s cheeks within both of his palms and kissed him fiercely. He groaned against Sam’s lips, thumbs brushing his brother’s chin and he pulled away again, staring into the younger Winchester’s eyes, “I don’t know if you’ll ever understand what you mean to me, I... I might not either, but I’ve never been so happy, not in my whole life. I’ve never wanted somethin' or someone more than I want you. I don’t deserve you.”

He looked over his brother’s body and shook his head, “I don’t deserve you at all, I never will, an’ for some fuckin’... Weird reason, you’re givin’ yourself to me. I’m done arguin’ it, but you need to know - you could do better, I’m glad you’re just settlin’ for me.”

Sam shook his head and pressed another, softer, more sensual kiss to the demon's lips, "Took you long enough."

He couldn't recall how many times the demon had said he didn't deserve Sam and, that Sam could do better - he'd definitely heard it more times than he'd cared for. The younger Winchester was pleased, content as all Hell that the demon was starting to see things a little more clearly, "Wanna get out of here?"

“Mm, yeah,” Alorest sat up carefully and looked down between them, blushing again as his scales retracted from his nose and cheekbones, “Messy. Could you uh... Get me somethin’ for this?” He asked, circling his fingers around in the fluids and reaching out to smear them across his brother’s bottom lip, “I think we have some clean towels in the back.”

Sam licked the mess from his lip and chuckled, stealing a quick, chaste kiss before moving to lean inside the passenger side window to snatch a towel out of the backseat floor. He pulled back out and positioned himself back between Alorest's thighs, pressing the cotton to the demon's come covered stomach. Sam snickered and threw the towel back into the car before moving to pick his clothes up, dressing himself slowly as his eyes raked Alorest's body.

The Demon sat up, smirking at Sam before climbing off the hood of the car and getting dressed as well. He pulled his shirt on last, stepping into his boots as he wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck and kissed him, combing his fingers through Sam’s hair and fixing it a bit before pulling away, “Where’re we off to? I know we gotta get gas first, maybe hunt down some demons an’ get info about yellow eyes, did you wanna call it a night though? Are you tired?”

"A little bit," Sam answered honestly, tightening his belt buckle before moving to the passenger side door, "If you wanna get some work done first, we can, probably better if we do anyway." He opened the door and slid in, shrugging minutely to himself as he closed it, "We just need to get this whole mess taken care of so we can breathe for once."

“Could always hit up Bobby, see if he’s heard anythin’,” Alorest suggested, climbing into the driver’s side seat and starting up the car, “We haven’t even talked to him since we took down Lilith, he could be worried. Maybe we can go pay him a quick visit before lookin’ for leads, just incase?”

Sam relaxed into his seat and nodded at Alorest, "Yeah, sounds good." It was unlike Bobby, to even go so long without calling or checking up on them, so visiting was definitely a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: [What I imagined of the Demon Forms of Alorest, Alastair, and Azazel](http://carryonmywincestsounds.tumblr.com/private/42033160489/tumblr_mh96i24Tg41ru2qqy)


	16. Chapter 14

Alorest mindlessly drummed his hands on the steering wheel, looking across to Sam as he mouthed the chorus of the Kansas song blaring through the speakers, raising his brows as he parked outside of Bobby’s house and turned off the car, “Finish your burger, an’ then we’ll go inside.” He sat back against his door, smiling at Sam as he stretched his leg out and rested it in his brother’s lap.

"Gross, man," Sam feigned disgust but pulled the demon's leg closer with one arm anyway, taking another bite of his burger as he grinned pointedly at Alorest, cheeks puffed out with food, "I'd rather not have dirt in my burger." He swallowed and took his last bite, chewed it up and repeated the motion before looking at the demon more solemnly, "Ready?"

“Oh, I **been** ready, are _you_?” Alorest asked, poking Sam in the side with his boot, “My hungry little human.”

He smirked and opened his door, climbing out and stretching as he walked to the house with his brother, moving in close so their arms brushed and he turned, looking up at Sam, “I’m glad I thought to call this mornin’, wouldn’t do us any good to come by, just to find an’ empty house.”

Sam grinned even wider at the nickname, clearing his throat to stifle a chuckle, "When did you call him? I don't remember you doing it." As they came up on the front door, he leaned over and stole a quick kiss from Alorest before knocking loudly, leaning back and looking to make sure Bobby's car was in it's usual spot.

“When you were doin’ those human thin’s you do, like goin’ to the bathroom,” The demon clarified, cheeks heating as he reached out, hand sliding under the back of his brother’s jacket and over shirt, touching the soft, warm skin for just a second as the door opened and he turned to look at the older, clearly worn man, “Hey, Bobby,” Alorest said, just about to move in when he stepped out of the way.

“Get inside you two,” Bobby said in a rush, ushering them inside.

Sam furrowed his brows in concern as his palm wrapped firmly around the nape of the demon's neck, keeping it there for reassurance as they moved into the old house, "What's going on, everything okay, Bobby?"

The older man had sounded concerned, worried almost, and in a hurry. Sam'd been pretty sure nothing or no one had followed them, so maybe Bobby had finally got a lead on something.

Alorest moved to follow after Sam, further into the house, but stopped when his eyes widened and Bobby reached out, yanking his brother from him and pushing Sam back behind him, “Sam?” He started nervously and looked down, swallowing as he saw the clear devil’s trap put out on the floor, “Sammy?”

Bobby put his arm out between them, “Don’t fall for it, Sam, **that’s not your brother**.”

Sam over powered Bobby and moved to Alorest anyway, almost glaring at the older man before growling out, "Yes it is, and you'd know it was if you'd just ask instead of trying to trap him in a goddamn devil's trap." He moved to stand in front of the demon, chest heaving with panic as he stared numbly at Bobby, "I don't know what you've heard but you should've come to us first."

Bobby narrowed his brows at the younger Winchester, “He’s been lyin’ to you, kid, usin’ you, don’t you see that? He took out Lilith, he ate ‘er, you know what happens when he does that? He gets stronger, Sam.”  
Alorest shook his head, reaching out for Sam, “Bobby, please-”

“Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino,” The older man chanted, glaring at Alorest, “qui fertis super caelum, caeli ad Orientem. Ecce dabit voci Suae, vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem Deo.” When nothing happened, he pulled the gun from his belt and moved, pointing it at the brothers, “Move, Sam, this’ll take care of him.”

Sam's eyes watered and his nostrils flared angrily as he shielded Alorest entirely, shaking his head at Bobby, "Bobby, I know everything, I know he's a demon.... but he's _still_ Dean, not completely at the moment but it's him, you've gotta believe me. I don't have any reason to lie to you, please just- just put the gun down and hear us out, don't make me live without him again - I can't do it."

Bobby shook his head, “He’s corruptin’ you, boy.”

Alorest swallowed sickly and shook his head, “I’m not, I... I mean I’m not Dean, not exactly, but I **was** him, Bobby, listen–”

“Azazel,” The older man said and Alorest gasped in pain, hand moving to his chest as his eyes widened and Bobby said the name again, over and over.

It was like the teeth of a chainsaw cutting through his chest, wrenching through everything inside of him and Alorest choked, trying to clench at the pain as his eyes turned black and his scales started rising up to the surface, blood filling his mouth as tears poured down his cheeks.

"Bobby, stop!" Sam yelled through gritted teeth as he turned bodily to the demon, putting his arms around him to hold him up, nothing but panic splayed across his features as he looked back at the old man, "You're gonna kill him, please just stop it - I'm begging you!"

He turned to look at the demon again and pressed his palm to Alorest's cheek, scales and all, "Listen, I need you to focus, breathe, okay? You've gotta let Dean out, you've gotta show him."

Alorest grabbed Sam’s shoulders and pulled them both down just as a bullet passed the top of his hairline. He closed his eyes tight and pushed Dean out to the forefront, the older Winchester looking up and holding his hand out as he growled, “ **Bobby, _stop_**!”

Bobby paused, gun still aimed at them as he raised his brows and waited.

Dean sighed and shook, turning his face into the collar of Sam’s neck as he breathed and sobbed. His hand moved to comb through Sam’s hair, clasping the back of his neck and Bobby watched the two of them with wide eyes.

Sam clung to his brother desperately, almost forgetting completely about Bobby behind them as he fisted Dean's shirt to keep him close, his own body still covering most of the smaller man's, "Hey, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, don't worry-just breathe, I'm here. If you go, I go, we're not gonna be apart, you understand?"

The younger Winchester's body began shaking just as badly as his brother's, fear stricken as he looked back at the old man that he respected far more than his father, "Bobby, _please_."

“Did you get a Colt for yourself, an’ make the bullets like ours just to kill me?” Dean asked, brows narrowed as he glared at Bobby, “You fuckin’ miserable old man, what the Hell happened to askin’ me, instead’a tryin’ to kill me? Stop aimin’ that goddamn thing at me, now, or this day is gonna get worse for all three of us.”

Bobby nodded and put the gun down, sighing and shaking his head, “I’m... I’m sorry, boys.”

Sam loosened his grip on Dean as he watched Bobby lower the gun, hand slowly moving to his brother's bicep, afraid to move away from him in case the older man was trying to fool them, "You should be, this is ridiculous." He turned back to look at Dean, taking in his brother's features and making sure he was okay, silently asking the older Winchester if he was, just with his eyes - wide and concerned.

“No,” Dean breathed as he collapsed against Sam, knees curling close to his chest, “No, I’m definitely not alright,” He moved his jacket away, looking down at the blood blossoming through his shirts, swallowing back what was left in his mouth as he wiped his lips. He motioned to Bobby, “You mind gettin’ me outta this trap now?”

Bobby nodded and walked to them slowly, pouring water over one of the lines, just enough to let him move.

"Come on," Sam murmured and wrapped Dean's arm around the back of his neck before hoisting him up gently and walking him to the couch in Bobby's study, "Sit down here."

He helped his brother, completely ignoring the fact that they were at Bobby's as he began undoing Dean's button up shirt. Sam threw it on the floor next to himself and lifted his brother's t-shirt off of him, wadding it up and dabbing it at the smaller man's bloody chest.

Dean dropped back, as weak as he was, giving Alorest the reigns once more and the demon winced and reached up, touching the back of his brother’s hand as he stared into Sam’s eyes, his own flicking black. He didn’t bother looking at the bruised, torn open anti-possession tattoo on his chest, the scar before becoming a gaping wound - he just watched Sam, his free hand reaching up to run through the younger Winchester’s hair as he smiled and blinked.

Bobby watched the two’s exchange in surprise, leaning against the doorway and keeping his distance as he immediately felt guilty.

Sam continued to dab at the open wound, but it seemed like he just couldn't get it to stop bleeding, he met Alorest's soft smile with a concerned look, brows knitted together, "I don't know what to do," He touched the demon's neck tenderly with his free hand, breathing deeply to keep from openly sobbing, "How much pain are you in?"

“I don’t think it’s measurable,” Alorest admitted, taking Sam’s hand and kissing it, “I can’t run outta blood, don’t worry about that, I’ll likely get over the pain in time, but... If you’re... You know, _thirsty_ ,” He hinted, smirking weakly, “Now wouldn’t be a completely horrible time to indulge yourself.” He glanced at Bobby as the older man’s eyes widened and he walked out of the front door, either to get away from their ‘crazy’, or to give them privacy, he didn’t care much either way.

Sam considered it silently and glanced at where Bobby had been, shrugging his shoulders and turning back to Alorest when it was clear the older man didn't want to deal with them at the moment.

He maneuvered further between the demon's thighs, dropping the crimson soaked t-shirt to place both of his hands on Alorest's hips, staring almost worriedly into the demon's black eyes as he dipped down to kiss above the smaller man's navel, "I shouldn't, you're hurting and it-it'd be selfish to put my stupid wants before your well-being."

“Might actually make me feel better, if you wanna think of it like that,” Alorest offered, “Please, don’t let it go to waste.”

He ran his hand through his brother’s hair, holding Sam’s bangs out of his face as the blood continued to pool, starting to spill down his front. The pain was immense, almost overwhelming, and he was sure that, if he were human, he’d’ve been out like a light the moment it’d happened. As it was, he just had to sit back and take it.

Sam nodded numbly and moved his mouth to catch the streaming blood, lips parted and hot against Alorest's skin, tongue laving eagerly at the crimson as he worked his way up the demon's body. He hesitated at the wound, brows still cinched together in concern as his eyes met Alorest's.

The younger Winchester let his left hand trail up the demon's side soothingly as he lowered his mouth to the tattoo, warmth of the blood coating his lips as he suckled at it tenderly.

Alorest’s body rose against Sam, a soft, surprised moan escaping his lips as he looked down, trying to watch his brother. Though the pain didn’t recede much, the immediate pleasure was welcome, numbing the sharp edges of agony twisting inside of him.

The demon breathed, though he didn’t need to, kissing Sam’s head and whispering in his ear, “ _My Sammy_ ,” He kissed him again, “ _That's right_.”

Sam lapped at the bitter copper for a while longer, covering the broad spectrum of the demon's chest, licking every inch and getting every drop before pulling back to look at Alorest, blood smeared across his lips.

"Thought..." He furrowed his brows deeply and clenched his jaw, eyes widening and watering a bit as he fought to keep his jaw from trembling, "I thought I was gonna lose you, don't know what I would've done."

“I know what you mean, I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared before,” Alorest looked down at the healed wound and leaned in to Sam, kissing him heatedly and lapping at his brother’s lips. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together, breathing Sam in and kissing his brother’s face, “We probably should’ve told him before–”

“You’re damn right you should’ve,” Bobby spoke from behind them and Alorest looked up, “You damn idjits.”

Sam turned to look at the older man at almost break-neck speed, moving away from Alorest in case there was any chance he hadn't seen what happened, wiping at any blood left on his lips, "Yeah, well, you're not exactly the easiest person to tell things to - you don't listen." He sniffled and sauntered around the room idly, honestly still a little pissed with Bobby.

Alorest watched Bobby nervously as the older man moved to him and took a seat, “I guess it’s time we filled you in on everythin’.”

* * *

After getting Bobby up to speed, he handed over a folder for them to look at, a tracking collection of spots Azazel had been part of within the passed few weeks. The brothers agreed to man the fort while Bobby went out and took care of a case of his own; giving Sam and Alorest the opportunity to relax for once, and read through the clippings.

Alorest passed warily by the marked out devil’s trap on the floor as he closed the door the moment Bobby’s truck was out of sight.

He turned and looked at Sam, hands pressed behind him as he leaned against the door and glanced at the circle once more, “Don’t think I’m gonna be able to be around him anymore without worryin’ he’s gonna pull out a gun an’ shoot me.”

Sam moved across the devil's trap and pressed his chest to Alorest's, looking him in the eyes as he touched the demon's cheek, "I won't let him, it'll have to go through me first."

Not that the younger Winchester was really so concerned about Bobby anymore, he seemed to have been more understanding after they'd told him everything, still slightly taken aback by it, but no where near as hostile as he had been.

Sam brushed the pad of his thumb across the demon's bottom lip before moving in to kiss it chastely.

Alorest kissed back, leaning into Sam as he slipped his arms around the younger Winchester’s waist. The pain was still there, tingling throughout his body and causing him to wince every now and then - when it was sharp enough - but he was beginning to feel somewhat normal. He pushed his hands under the back of his brother’s shirt and touched his skin, the demon’s nails scratching lightly as he sucked on Sam’s tongue.

Sam hooked one arm around the back of Alorest's neck, other hand still cupping the stubble on the demon's face as heavy puffs of breath escaped him, "I love you," He kissed the demon again, licking at the seam of his lips, "I love you," Sam opened his eyes and looked at the demon as he grinded their hips together, lips parted, "I love you."

“I love you,” Alorest pressed their bodies together, yanking Sam’s shirt up over his head and moving them back, carefully through the house to the bedroom they were sharing, his hands practically clawing at his brother’s belt.

“I love you,” He said, pushing Sam back onto the bed and climbing over him, eyes flicking black as he yanked the younger Winchester’s pants down to his ankles. He settled in Sam’s lap, staring down at him as he rolled their hips together, fingers touching over the larger man’s neck and face, “I love you.”

Sam smiled warmly and settled his palms on the demon's hips, arching his back slightly to lean up to capture Alorest's lips with his own, whispering against them, "I wanna make love to you, make you feel good, and help you forget about the pain."

He continued to kiss Alorest until he was almost light-headed from it, hands shakily undoing the demon's pants and pushing at them, barely rolling everything down over the swell of the smaller man's ass. The younger Winchester grabbed the squishy flesh with both palms and rocked up into the demon.

Alorest gasped and yanked his shirt off, responding to the rock with one of his own. He leaned down, pushing his pants low and grinding against Sam’s cock with his own as he wormed out of the tight denim, “You won’t hear me complainin’.”

The demon stared into Sam’s eyes as he finished kicking his pants off his feet and smiled wide, chuckling and rubbing their crotches against one another as he gasped, pressing his lips to Sam’s and moaning as he ran his hands over the younger Winchester’s muscles, “I feel like I want you all the time, even after I’ve had you, I want you again. I want you even when I’m havin’ you.”

"After we get everything taken care of," Sam murmured quietly, rolling them and yanking the demon's boxer-briefs off, "All I wanna do is fuck and hold you for as long as possible."

He pushed his own boxers off and positioned himself back between Alorest's legs, slotting his cock next to the smaller man's before wrapping his palm around both of their lengths, pumping them together, "Keep you tied up and just use you, make you feel good and get you off so many times you'd be torn between begging me for more or pleading with me to stop."

“Don’t think I could ever think’a askin’ you to stop, Sammy,” Alorest responded, staring up at him, “You could have me so sensitive I was cryin’ an’ I’d still want so much more.”

Sam’s words were doing a number on him, taking up residence in his mind, festering thoughts and feelings he wasn’t use to, ones that Dean had fought for all of his life and had never managed to get, or think he deserved, even if they seemed like they were attainable at one point or another, “You should let me, too.”

Sam looked down at the demon in confusion, hand stuttering on their lengths as he tilted his head curiously, "Let you what?"

“I’ve spent all my life wantin’ to make you feel good,” Alorest admitted, smiling, “When I was human, it was everythin’ I could do to make you laugh or smile, an’ I wanted to do more. I know you feel a lot like you gotta always make me feel good, but I don’t think you realize how badly I’ve wanted to take care of you - to fuck you an’ make love to you. Always I wanted to touch you, kiss you an’ worship your body, kiss every inch, explore every single one of your moles an’ dimples, an’ veins. I’ve thought about it for hundreds of years, Sammy.”

Sam nodded slowly, smiling as he bracketed either side of Alorest's head with his forearms, kissing the corner of the demon's mouth, "If it's what you want, and if it'll make you feel good, you can do anything you want to me, never even have to ask - told you I'm yours too."

The younger Winchester did feel a little guilty, though, considering he'd planned on making it his mission to make the demon forget all about the last day or so - but at the same time, if this was something Alorest wanted, then Sam couldn't deny him.

Alorest sat up, turning them over once more and climbing between Sam’s legs, “You know what causes me more pleasure than you can ever imagine?” He asked, lips hovering over his brother’s as he covered Sam’s hand with his own, “ _Yours_.”

He moved up, one hand in his brother’s bangs as he kissed along Sam’s hairline and brows, the worry between them, then he mouthed the younger Winchester's left cheek, sucking his moles and freckles, tasting the lines of his dimples and kissing down the bridge of his nose.

Sam smiled even wider and arched into the demon's adoration, gasping almost desperately as he tried rocking his hips up against Alorest's. It was confusing to say the least, but Sam was partially curious to see how Dean and Alorest differed - even though they were technically one in the same.

He reached up and grasped the back of the demon's neck, "Want you," He pulled back to touch the smaller man's cheek bone expectantly, "Show me."

Alorest was about to ask ‘what’ when he realized and his eyes widened, a red blush shading his cheeks and he responded, watching Sam’s face as he pressed the rough scales to the surface, down along his nose and cheeks. It was almost a relief to let out parts of his demon form, like letting go of something you’ve been mindlessly holding onto - or keeping back.

Sam let the pad of his thumb brush over the hardened scales, eyes following, smile faint as he watched in awe, cock still throbbing helplessly, "So gorgeous, never gonna get tired of this."

He leaned up a little and sighed almost in relief as he pressed his lips to them, smearing them all along Alorest's cheeks and nose as he rocked his hips desperately.

The demon shook and trembled over Sam, groaning in surprise when his orgasm hit. He whimpered, closing his eyes and smiling at the feeling of Sam’s lips on them, the cool waves of bliss spreading through him, filling his cock a second time.

His hand took up his brother’s length, slick with his come as he smeared it down the shaft and he pumped Sam, “I wish I could explain what that feels like,” He chuckled, nosing the larger man’s lips.

Sam grinned from ear to ear and nosed back, kissing the demon heatedly as he gasped and chuckled as well, "Gotta be pretty good if you can get off without me touching your cock, I like it - we'll have to experiment a little more sometime, yeah?"

His mouth hung open all slack-jawed and he tilted his head back, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he groaned and thrust into Alorest's fist.

“Mhm, it feels kinda awesome, I don’t know why, but when you think they might all be like that, an’ they’re all over my body...” Alorest mused aloud, leaning down and sucking on Sam’s left nipple as he watched his brother’s expression. He could never get over how undeniably adorable Sam was when he was caught up in the feeling of being jerked.

The demon sucked the bud between his teeth so tightly that he was sure it must’ve hurt, but he lapped at it soothingly afterwards, thumb and forefinger twisting the head of his brother’s cock as he did so.

Sam nibbled on his bottom lip, still smiling and gasping, hands clasping Alorest's shoulder's, "Makes me wanna lick every single one, get you off- _ah_ , over and over."

He tilted his head back up to look at the demon, pupils blown so wide with lust that even his irises looked black, "Come on," He rolled his hips and rubbed his ass along the demon's length, "Wanna feel you."

"That's all you gotta say, baby boy," Alorest said as he pulled back, standing from the bed and turning Sam over, setting his legs off the side of the mattress and feet on the floor as the older Winchester bent over him, cock sliding between his brother’s cheeks as he kissed down Sam’s spine.

He thrust his hips against the larger man’s backside, the heat and stick of his length pressing over Sam’s puckered entrance before he knelt and rubbed a dollop of spittle into the tickle me pink colored muscle as his hands moved, one down Sam’s leg and the other underneath, along his tummy.

Sam arched his spine and pushed his hips back almost desperately, gasping and whimpering over every little touch and they hadn't even started fucking yet. He reached back and touched the demon's thigh reassuringly, trying to urge him further, hips canting as he rubbed himself against his lover, begging for it without the words.

Alorest smiled at Sam’s responses and moved his hands to hold the younger Winchester’s cheeks apart, lips and tongue sucking the entrance and his teeth grazed along it. His mind lolled back against the musky heat, tongue darting inside over and over again before he pulled back and pressed a finger inside of Sam. “So tight, Sammy,” He said as he wormed it around and slid a second one in.

" **Fuck** ," Sam almost choked on his tongue, eyes clenching shut as he let the sensations wash over him, willing himself to stay relaxed instead of clenching around the demon. He balled the comforter up into his fists and all but sobbed into the mattress, body breaking out in a sheen of sweat as he wiggled helplessly under Alorest's ministrations.

Alorest watched Sam, kissing along his left ass cheek and the dimples above them as his free hand gripped Sam’s hip and the demon stood, holding him firmly as Alorest began pumping the fingers into his brother, spreading him carefully and smoothing the pads of them over the sleeve of nerves inside of the larger man, just enough to ease him into it.

“Beautiful,” He said, smiling and kissing a few freckles within reach.

Sam could feel his entire body flush and heat due to the demon's words, smiling shyly into the sheets before looking back at Alorest, eyes heavy lidded and eager. He was more used to telling the other man how beautiful and gorgeous _he_ was, though, hearing the term of endearment directed towards him felt nice. Sam licked his lips and started rocking his hips, moaning as he fucked himself back on the smaller man's fingers.

“Can’t wait to be inside of you, baby boy,” Alorest said as he looked into Sam’s eyes, adding a third finger, “You’re gonna be so tight an’ snug around me.”

He watched in awe at the flexing of his brother’s back muscles, spreading his fingers and thrusting them into Sam every time the younger man pressed back, “You tell me when you think you’re ready, I might not be the best judge on this, but I don’t wanna hurt you.”

"Now," Sam said at once, eyes wide as he pleaded with the demon, "Please, I'm ready now, want you in me." He reached down underneath his body and squeezed around the base of his cock, trying to fight the urge to fist it desperately or rut against the bed.

Alorest lifted Sam’s legs up onto the mattress, one after the other, leaving his brother’s ass jutting out as the demon held him up and began sliding inside, using the spit he’d collected and rubbing it over his length before burying himself inside of Sam.

The larger man was tight, suffocating around him and Alorest pulled Sam’s back to press against his chest, kissing his shoulder as he waited for his brother to adjust.

Sam leaned back against the demon and let his head rest against the smaller man’s shoulder, mouth parted as he gasped. Alorest’s girth filled him so full that it was hard to breathe, hole burning almost deliciously around the swollen member and he clenched down around it, “Ah, **move** , fuck me.”

“Patience,” Alorest cooed softly, licking the side of Sam’s jaw and pressing his nose to the younger Winchester’s sweated skin before he canted his hips upwards, pushing Sam up as his hands held his brother, guiding his body back down onto his length. The thrusts were hard, sharp, and left him shaking from his head to his feet as he watched Sam, looking down at the beautiful pink colored flesh.

“Goddamn, Sammy, lookit you,” He said, smoothing his palm down his brother’s body and thumbing the head of the cock slapping between the larger man’s legs.

Sam reached back and cupped the side of Alorest’s neck as he tried to move his hips back, body tingling all over as he whimpered and groaned. Granted, he was used to being a top, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy being a bottom - even if he ended up all needy and wanton for it.

Wrapping his hand around the demon’s, he tilted his head to the side, enough to nip at the smaller man’s jaw, “I want _you_ to fuck me,” He said breathlessly, hoping that Alorest would understand what he meant.

Alorest tilted his head in confusion, “Me?” All he could think of then was Dean, the image of Sam on the bed, himself against the far wall, watching, standing back and touching himself. He remembered how desperate his baby brother had looked... Not for him, but for Dean - knowing that it wasn’t Alorest. The demon swallowed nervously, looking Sam in the eyes the best he could, “I don’t think I understand.” And suddenly he was speaking like himself, not with the twangy accent of Dean that he’d adopted over time, to make his brother comfortable.

His words were nearly violent in his own voice, darker, heavier, almost breathless, “ **I _am_ fucking you**.”

Sam all but shivered at the tone of the demon’s voice and felt his cock throb helplessly, he shook his head and his cheeks flushed pink as he pressed his lips to Alorest’s ear the best he could, “Your _real_ form.” He could feel a twinge of excitement surge throughout himself at the thought, of giving himself to **all** of the demon, not just the slightly more human looking parts.

Alorest stilled in shock, eyes widening as he stared at Sam. His eyes flicked down to his brother’s length and then back up to his face curiously. He’d never been with anyone, sexually, in that form, not even in the slightest. Some demons liked it, some **preferred** it, and did horrible things to the humans on their racks.

Through the years, he could remember looking at his hands and seeing them, slowly changing over time, feeling the scales rising up, the spikes growing from his back, teeth sharpening. While he looked more human than most, he didn’t look human at all. Green-skinned, hard-shelled, claws instead of fingers, daggers instead of nails. Not to mention the changes it made to... _Other_ things. Humans can’t use their cocks as a weapon, not physically, but Alorest likely could - give it a couple more decades in Hell and he’d be barbed.

His eyes pooled black as he looked at Sam still and blinked in surprise, “You’ve seen _me_ ,” He said, raising his brows as if to convey, “Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”

The corner of Sam’s mouth started to pull up into a slight grin before he arched his neck and kissed the demon slowly, “I’m sure,” He kissed Alorest again, tugging the other man’s bottom lip between his teeth teasingly before nosing his cheek, “Please?” The younger Winchester stared into the coal-like orbs and reached down to encompass Alorest’s hand with his own, hips moving feebly in an attempt to fuck into the demon’s fist.

Alorest sighed as he blinked and pressed his nose against his brother’s cheek. It was like letting go of something he’d been holding onto - changing - as if he’d been grasping his human form tightly, to keep it in place.

Scales broke through his brows, making ridges up the bridge of his noes and over his joints - knuckles, elbows, knees, shoulders. His hands became claws, teeth sharpening into broken, black knives and he held Sam tight in his arms. Alorest could feel his length changing inside of his brother, filling him, feeling him in different ways and he shuddered. His tail dropped to the ground to even his weight and now he... **He** was the larger brother, even with holding his size back, Sam still became like a doll in his arms.

Sam watched Alorest and choked on gasps as the cock inside of him grew, wide-eyed and curious as he witnessed the flesh disappear and harden, “Jesus Christ.” It was an odd sensation, to actually feel small and fragile - definitely something he hadn’t really anticipated. He arched his neck and pressed his lips to the demon’s cheek, right hand reaching back to touch the firm, scaled thigh.

Alorest closed his eyes at the touch, senses overwhelming in ways that were... Well, for lack of a better word, _alien_ to him. He could taste his brother’s walls around him, short, thick feelers twitching and seeking inside of Sam and he turned against the younger Winchester, long, thin tongue flicking out to taste the beads of sweat dripping down his collarbone.

He spread Sam’s legs, fist covering his brother’s cock from base to head completely and the demon started to move slowly, still warily eying Sam for any change or sudden panic as the ridges and feelers along his length slid out, and then back in with the pump of his thighs.

The younger Winchester stared down at the clawed hand encompassing his cock, mouth hanging open in awe, brows drawn together as he sobbed his pleasure, “Oh my god.”

He tentatively laid his fleshy hand atop of Alorest’s and glanced back at the demon, “I love you.” He urged the demon more by forcing his hips back, desperate for it, teeth grazing along Alorest’s scaled jaw, “So much.”

“I love you,” Alorest growled, more than aware how weird English sounded coming out of his mouth. It was unusual, but he ignored it, still amazed at his brother’s acceptance. He had expected Sam to recoil in disgust, even though he’d made the initial request.

Alorest, though not having used his body in this way before, didn’t let that slow him down. Sam was giving him the green light, and the demon ran with it, one claw grabbing up his brother’s hips to hold him in place. The muscles worked like a machine, thrusts more firm and timed than they’d been in his human form.

The scales weren’t forgiving, and he knew they’d bite at Sam skin, so he tried to make sure it wasn’t too much, looking down his brother’s back to watch the red flesh as his length moved at an entirely different pace. It was slower, somewhat, but suctioning, twisting inside, the cock writhing, feelers curling as they were overwhelmed with pleasure. He’d never felt anything like it, couldn’t even begin to compare, it was almost bruising with how good it felt to have Sam’s walls clenching around him.

Sam felt the strength of the demon’s body, muscles flexing and, instead of trying to hold himself up, he relaxed and relied solely on Alorest to support him, knowing that he was more than capable.

“Oh god,” The younger Winchester chanted repeatedly, already feeling the throngs of his orgasm, curling up in the pit of his stomach as Alorest slammed against his prostate over and over, “Can’t... **Fuck** , I’m gonna-“ He reached back again and massaged the pads of his fingers in between the blunt little spikes protruding from the back of the demon’s neck, “So close. Harder, fuck me harder.”

The growl started from the back of Alorest’s stomach, deep and haunting as he responded, hips slamming upwards into Sam, just hard enough, but still careful not to actually cause his brother harm. He knew that just the smallest sliver of control lost would likely result in splitting the younger Winchester into two pieces, which definitely wasn’t something he wanted to chance.

It felt good, not just physically, but to be _wanted_ in this form - desired - by his brother. To be able to arouse Sam, to have the hand on the back of his neck, to feel his scales prodding their triangle shapes just above his brother’s ass cheeks.

“Come,” He growled deeply, tail moving up to tease Sam’s balls.

The demon’s gravelly command resonated throughout Sam’s entire body, causing him to shudder and moan as he came almost violently, eyes watering from the strength of his release. His walls clenched down around Alorest’s probing length, body trembling as he pressed back against the demon’s large chest, panting as he let his hand fall from Alorest’s neck.

Alorest moved carefully, laying Sam chest down on the bed and holding his hips still, the younger Winchester’s legs hanging off the edge as the demon started thrusting.

It wasn’t hard or rough, he wasn’t really sure _what_ it was, his hips slowed and his length moved of it’s own accord, feelers swelling like little bulbs inside of Sam and the demon watched the ones on the outside in interest before he slid in completely. His length pulsed and throbbed as he gasped and curled his body around Sam’s, cock pulling itself in deeper and deeper still, crawling inside of his brother as it filled him, juices leaking from the younger Winchester and dripping down his thighs.

Sam balled up the comforter in his fists as he gasped even more, feeling the demon’s length burrow in deep, still insistent over his prostate. It was almost too much, felt entirely too good and, for a brief moment, he actually wondered if it was real, if it was even possible - because he felt like he was suspended in a constant state of orgasm, body spasming helplessly as he writhed.

Alorest groaned as he came again, length nestling itself, bulb-shaped feelers quivering inside of his brother and he tried to pull back but couldn’t, eyes widening as the pleasure peaked and more globs of his fluid dripped out of his brother. He was stuck, holding Sam close and licking along his back to soothe. He wasn’t sure what it was doing to the younger Winchester, he was somewhat concerned, but it didn’t really feel wrong, and the sounds the smaller man was making were all still aroused and excited.

Sam sighed his contentment and loosened his grip on the covers, sweat dripping down between his brows as he lifted his head enough to look back at Alorest, completely fucking debauched but grinning, “So good.” He almost felt bloated with the demon’s length buried so deep, but he was completely sated at the same time, breaths evening out even though he was pinned under Alorest’s weight.

The demon changed at once, forcing himself back into his human form to release the younger Winchester, just in case it could cause Sam harm, if he burrowed his length too deep.

He was spent, slimmer cock slipping out of his brother and he drew his fingers down the shapes of his scales that’d been pressed against Sam’s lower spine, “Good?” He breathed, smiling, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked, dropping to his knees and spreading the larger man open, satisfied when he didn’t see **much** blood. There was still some, which shouldn’t surprise him, but nothing that garnered serious worry. He pressed the oozing fluids back in with his fingers, licking up Sam’s legs as he packed the rest back in.

Sam’s breath hitched and he shook his head, clamping down gently around the demon’s fingers, “Definitely didn’t hurt me.” He reached back blindly and carded his fingers through Alorest’s short hair as he whimpered softly, cock twitching, “I don’t think...” He let out a heavy, bated breath, “I’ve ever had an orgasm like that it-it was... so strong, intense.”

“Me too,” Alorest took in the red flush of Sam’s ass, the worn hole stretched wide as he prodded, finger swirling through the come and pressing over his brother’s prostate before he leaned in to taste physically what he could before, mentally.

He wanted to plug the younger Winchester up, keep him full and writhing for hours, but not only would it make everything from here on out more difficult with Sam’s inside swollen from his fluids, he was also pretty sure they didn’t have anything to do it **with**.

He cleaned his brother out slowly, licking and lapping, groaning as he mouthed Sam’s ass. And once he was done, he turned the younger Winchester over, climbing onto him and breathing into his ear, “Once this is all over, I’m gonna fill you so full you’ll taste it on your tongue, an’ then I’m gonna make you sit on it for **days** , packed up inside, warm an’ swollen as you walk aroun’. An’ when people lookit you, they won’t even know that I’m still there, deep inside’a you - keepin’ you filled to the brim, plugged up for me.”

By the time Alorest had stopped licking and fingering him, Sam was already half hard again, but he ignored the slight ache. He wrapped his arms around the demon’s shoulders and pulled him closer, chest to chest as he rolled his head to the side, glancing at Alorest’s lips and then his eyes, “Promise?”

Sam pressed his mouth to the demon’s, slowly, tongue slipping passed Alorest’s lips to brush his tongue, curling them together, humming as he tasted the smaller man’s come.

Alorest nodded as he kissed back and laid down by his brother, “Promise,” _should I make it out of this alive, as unlikely as that is_ , “I’m still kinda surprise that you wanted me like that. I’ve... I’ve never done that before. I...” He smiled nervously, black eyes watering, “I’m still not really sure what a lot of me is capable of. Like how half of having sex with you was spent in confusion, an’ concern because I don’t really... Know... _What it was doing_.”

Sam smiled and, although his body protested, he moved slowly and straddled the demon’s lap and looked down at him fondly, “I want you in every way I can have you, all of you, not just the parts I’m more familiar with - and I trust you not to hurt me, even though it’s new for you.”

The younger Winchester leaned down and kissed the demon again, resting his forearms on either side of Alorest’s head, “If I wasn’t so sore, I’d ask you to do it again.”

“Soon,” Alorest promised because, even if he didn’t make it out - if Sam was left with Dean - he couldn’t imagine Dean **not** utilizing the demon form for sex. The other man used his fucking toes, after all.

He tried not to think about it, to think about his brother with another man; by all rights, Sam was Dean’s, not his. It was weird, being jealous of his previous self, a real, sentient being that existed outside of Alorest himself, who would take what was rightfully his, once the moment presented itself.

“Until then, we need to get this done and see it through.”


End file.
